My duaghter is 6, and is the only girl to 3 brothers (at the time). My husband and I decided 2 years ago to try and have another girl because our daughter wanted a sister and we wanted another girl as well. I got pregnant about 14 months ago and we have since had a baby boy. My daughter is upset and wants us to try one more time.
I ended up having an emergency c-section because the doctor accidentally broke my water (trying to check the position of the baby). The babies hand came out along with his cord. The cord was wedged between his head and birth canal. After the c-section, my incision didn't heal completely and it ended up infected. They had to cut part of it open and drain it, and I spent the next 7 weeks putting gauze in the hole until it healed.
It scared the hell out of me. (I have never had a c-section before), and it was a bad outcome for me. (The baby is fine and getting big).
How do I explain to her that my body can't handle carrying babies anymore?
2006-07-27 20:49:42 · 15 answers · asked by ~SSIRREN~ 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I would just like to add that however you choose to tell her, I'd try to avoid any scary details which might negatively affect her views of pregnancy & childbirth in the future.
Also, you can acknowledge her sense of loss. She's sad because she's not going to have the sister relationship she was hoping for...it's OK to acknowledge her feelings and tell her it seems unfair that she can't have the kind of closeness that her brothers have with each other. If she is lucky, she will have girlfriends at school (any girl cousins?) and some day sisters-in-law. In the meantime, you and she probably need to schedule girl time on a routine basis so she can have a break from all the testosterone! You can let her know that even though it doesn't mean you love the boys any less, sometimes you also feel a little sad that you never got to enjoy a 2nd little girl...but aren't you lucky that you have her?! :-)
2006-07-28 04:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by lechemomma 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
First of all, I am sorry for your traumatic experience! You pulled through this, and scary as it must have been - take pride in the fact that you are capable of SO MUCH. I hope you can think of this experience in the future whenever you are facing difficulties, and find strength in knowing that you have pulled through an ordeal.
I do agree with those above me who have adviced that you should just tell her matter-of-factly. Kids are great in that way, the honest truth without drama or long explanations just works best. Reassure her that what happend to you will not happen to her, that she will have beautiful baby girls when she becomes a mother.
If any of you get a small cut or wound, use iut to show her how fragile the human body can be, that the fine tissues sometimes break, and that is what happend to you.
Keep up the good work!
2006-07-27 21:14:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to find a way to explain this to my 6 year old son as well. he wants a baby sister and is the oldest of 3 boys. I sat him down and explained that Mommy cant have anymore because I have to save to buy him all the expenisve toys he loves so much. And that babies cost a lot of money. It did NOT work. he offered to sell his toys to raise money for a baby Lily, the name he wants to name her. So finally I lied, and told him that the doctors said if mommy has any more babies mommy could get sick and go to heaven. He has not asked one time since. I know it seems harsh, but at least it worked. So cute he was willing to sell his toys though for a sister. Too cute!
2006-07-27 21:53:51 · answer #3 · answered by no name 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That age group are more understanding that adults, if you use simple term to explain it to her.
Children can take the worse situation than adults. She might not have a sister she wants because mommy can't have anymore babies or whatever the doctor said. Tell her using her language. They are very trusting, that's why you need to tell the truth in a very simple term. Do not forget they have a short spam attention, so keep it simple and short. She trust you.
2006-07-27 20:58:29 · answer #4 · answered by Farani P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I am sorry you had such a bad experience with your last doc, he sounds like a total moron. If it was that easy to break a persons water people would be banned from having sex in the last trimester but of course your doc seems to make it seem to easy. I would questions his methods.
You just tell her 4 kids is enough for your family and that's it. Enjoy what you have! Remind her that some kids have no siblings at all.
2006-07-27 20:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by mama mia! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just explain it as it is, in plain words. Say that, if you try again, you could get very, very ill. And tell her that there isn't a greater happiness for a girl than to have brothers to love and protect her (when they're a little older, of course).
2006-07-27 21:01:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her your body is not able to have any more babies because of what happened last time you were pregnant. your body is telling you to stop. if you have another baby, it could really hurt you. she wouldn't want her mommy to hurt. just like she doesn't like it when she gets hurt. I am not sure what else to tell her, but that she can help alot with her baby brother. good luck
blessed be
2006-07-27 21:00:36 · answer #7 · answered by singitoutloudandclear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her the truth or as much of it as she can handle. That you cannot afford another child. Tell her what you feel comfortable telling her.
My daughter wants me to have another baby. FYI Daddy's fixed and Mommy's OLD.... LOL
They KNOW we can't have any more and have accepted it. Your daughter will to.
2006-07-27 21:03:31 · answer #8 · answered by jennifersuem 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
2006-07-27 21:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by brown_eyes_132006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say it without a long "story"
She'll accept it without a fuss as long as YOU don't make a big deal or get dramatic...
kids are very resilient.
2006-07-27 20:53:43 · answer #10 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋