2006-07-27 20:25:27 · 23 answers · asked by a V a 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I'll give this a try! I like short jokes... I am trying to think of "cold" ones, so here are some mean/funny ones I know:
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, it's not coming.
Where can you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left it.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
(Lame, I know... but funny after the dog one).
Did you hear about the blind man that went Bunjee jumping?
Scared the hell out of the dog.
(Tell this one out loud to someone, it's really funny. I heard this from a blind person btw).
How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
When she has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her pencil.
(Ouch!! I can't even count how many times I've heard that one... yep, I'm a natural blonde... sigh!!)
Drive carefully. 90% of the people on the road are caused by accident.
2006-07-27 21:51:37 · answer #1 · answered by e.estlinz 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Joke 1)
One Day,
A Polar Bear Was Sitting On Ice, Then He Kept Plucking His Fur. Then, He Suddenly Stood Up And Said," Brrr.. Its So Cold"
Joke 2)
One Day,
A Farmer Was Farming On A Very Hot Day, Suddenly, A Horse Said "Today's So Hot!!!", The Farmer Was So Sad And Grabbed The Dog Leash And Run Away Then, The Dog Said " Wow, Its A Miracle That Horses Can Talk".
2006-07-27 20:48:38 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Writing Short Stories
A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The short story had to contain the following three things:
(1) Religion (2) Sexuality (3) Mystery.
Following is the only A+ paper in the entire class:
"Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it.
2006-07-28 10:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by Hi y´all ! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man walks into a music store and wants to buy a good, old-fashioned vinyl record. He gets the record and is ready to check out when he discovers that he forgot his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decides to steal the record. So he sticks it down his pants.
Of course, the cashier spots him on the way out and says, "Hey! Is that a record in your pants?"
The man replies, "Well, it may not be a record but I haven't heard any complaints."
2006-07-27 21:16:11 · answer #4 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
Yo momma's so ugly I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application
Yo momma's so dumb she tried to steal a free sample.
People have every right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege!
2006-07-31 10:47:43 · answer #5 · answered by yo mamma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok....checked this out.....
chinaman saw an accident but not very fluent in english so he said to the police...
1 car come,1 car go,1 car bo brake,1 car bo stop!
2 car ping ping piang piang!!!!!please call eeee orrrr eeee orrrr!!!!!
Hoped will cheered you up(",)
2006-07-28 04:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
short dirty joke thn clean joke:
dirty: white horse fell in the mud
clean: the white horse took a bath!
HA I knew dad's lame jokes would pay off someday!
2006-07-27 20:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is 6 afraid of 7?????......
because 7 ate(8) 9...
something I remembered from elementary school days
2006-07-27 20:29:52 · answer #8 · answered by Smokeahontis© 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do elephants hide?
They paint their toe nails red and stand behind a strawberry.
How do monkeys hide?
They paint their "privates" red and hide in the cherry trees.
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
...Elephants eating cherries...........
2006-07-27 20:45:58 · answer #9 · answered by bburgandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you call a person who plays a piano and works in a coal mine?
2006-07-27 20:32:01 · answer #10 · answered by blue_home_iguana 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋