Im bored got any jokes any ones!
2006-07-27 20:09:41 · 8 answers · asked by ksocceroxs07 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
2006-07-27 20:45:57 · answer #1 · answered by giko 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Subject: A father's letter to his daughter's boyfriend
Dear Spike:
I have been unable to sleep since I forced my daughter to break off her engagement to you.
Will you forgive and forget?
I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo, and pierced nose.
I now realize motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I really
should not have reacted the way I did to the fact that you have never held a job.
I am sure, too, that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park.
Sure, my daughter is only 17 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on a Fulbright scholarship, but after all, you can't learn everything about life from books.
I sometimes forget how backward I can be. I was wrong I have now come to my senses and you have my full blessing to marry my daughter.
Sincerely,
Your future father-in-law ... .
PS Congratulations on winning the Power-ball lottery!
2006-07-28 10:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by Hi y´all ! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A drunk was walking down a dark alley and stumbled upon an old bottle. A genie popped out of the bottle and said... I grant thee two wishes. The drunk asked... I do allot of travelling from Seattle to Hawaii, could you build me a hi-way from here to there?
The genie said that that would take decades... was there anything simpler that he wanted.
The drunk said... yes, Women... what makes them tick?, after which the genie asked... will that be two lanes or four?
2006-07-27 20:28:35 · answer #3 · answered by blue_home_iguana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man walks into a music store and wants to buy a good, old-fashioned vinyl record. He gets the record and is ready to check out when he discovers that he forgot his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decides to steal the record. So he sticks it down his pants.
Of course, the cashier spots him on the way out and says, "Hey! Is that a record in your pants?"
The man replies, "Well, it may not be a record but I haven't heard any complaints."
2006-07-27 21:16:56 · answer #4 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
check this out.....
A guy was at the supermarket and after buying a few things he began to queue up in this really long line for the checkout.
After about 15 minutes in the line he reached the checkout girl and just at that moment he remembered that he needed some condoms. Not wanting to line up again he said to the girl "Oh I meant to buy some condoms but forgot"
"Do you know what size you are?" she asked. "No," he replied.
"OK drop your pants and I'll tell you what size you are".
The guy then, not being the shy type, drops his trousers and the girl has a feel with her hand and then says in the microphone "1 packet of large condoms to aisle 3 please", he pulls up his trousers, the condoms are brought to him and he pays his bill and goes on his way. Another male customer sees this and thinks he'd like to have this nice girl fondling his prick and so says the same thing to the girl.
A similar course of events takes place, only this time after having a feel she says "One packet of medium sized condoms to aisle 3 please", the condoms are then brought to him and he pays the bill and goes on his way. Also watching this course of events was a rather excitable 15 year old boy who then decides to queue up and try the same routine. "I'd like to buy some condoms please, but I forgot" he says.
"Do you know what size you are?" she asked. "No," he replied. "OK, I'll check. Whoops, mop and bucket to aisle 3 please!"
2006-07-28 02:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by MK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, not my job
Sorry Skippy
2006-07-27 20:22:35 · answer #6 · answered by Ruthie1959 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If girls with big teets work at hooters, why don't girls with one leg work at IHOP?
2006-07-27 20:49:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why can't you hear bunnies ****/make love.........
.....
...
.
THEY have cotton balls.
2006-07-27 20:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋