Gone through 10 sessions and am very depressed cause my friends do not want to be near me I look ugly............how do i change the way i feel about myself ??????
2006-07-27 20:00:26 · 18 answers · asked by Tina 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Damn, try and remember the old but VERY true cliche: We're our own worst critics. People tend to look at and for flaws in themselves rather than the balance of cute imperfections, and remarkably beautiful features. You're not UGLY, just visibly ill. When your cancer's gone, and the chemo sessions end, you'll begin looking more and more like your old self. Try and focuse on that.
I've seen family, and friends, strangers, etc go through Chemo. One thing they all had in common, was being scared, and sick, depressed, and lonesome. Chemo patients have a very obvious visual difference, and that makes em FEEL more alone than they really are. -Isolated- is the term. Your friends are likely scared for you, not scared OF you.They'll be unsure of how to act when you're around. They'll take their ques from your own attitude. It'll be on their mind that you're sick, but they'll need encouragement from You to know that it's o.k. to talk about it. If it's appropriate to your personality, try makin jokes like: "Damn, I just realized, I'm gonna save a fortune in shampoo and haircuts, but the extra sunscreen...." Something that addresses the visible change, but puts a lighthearted and humorous spin on it.
Feel free to drop me an email, or Instant message. I can't promise to respond immediately, but I WILL respond. I'd like 2 know how you're doing.
2006-07-28 00:53:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are going through and how you must be feeling. My father has esophageal cancer now just after being in remission for 5 years. He gets depressed and sad too. But, I remind him that he has a lot to live for still and so do you. I am sorry about your friends. A lot of people just don't understand what you are going through and what your body is going through. They feel bad for you and they just don't know how to comfort you or what to say to you. I'm sure you don't look ugly. I think the chemo and the radiation make you feel that way. Don't think like that. I am sure you'll make it through this. Be strong. Take care.
2006-07-28 03:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by Claudia M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know EXACTLY how you feel I was diagnosed with ALL when i was a sophmore in highschool and i had 4 feet o f beuatiful hair. It was devastating. At first, everyone came around, but after a while, i was lonely. something you have to realize though is you have 2 options: you can sit around, be sick, and sad OR you can find the good in things, find new hobbies, and try to be happy. even though cancer was hard, i also am very greatful for it in some ways. me and my mom r closer than ever, i learned to garden, paint, and cook, and i worked hard in school and eventually got ascholarhsip. It put everything into prespective about how important my future is. and some of the stuff was the funniest things i ever did, u just have to know how to look at it.
you have to also realize the hair loss, paleness, weakness EVERYTHING most likely isnt permanant. i lost 4 feet of hair. but i heard of something called hiphats. what it is is a wig with real hair HOWEVER theres no top.,. just cloth. you can wear it with ANY hat, bandana, lots of things! the hair looks very real and u dont have the insecurity, itchiness, and hotness of a real wig heres a website! http://www.hatswithhair.com/
goodluck with everything!
2006-07-28 14:31:40 · answer #3 · answered by Ashley W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know that you will survive!!! You will get through this and life will go on. If your friends are not sticking by your side, they are not truly your friends.
Right now you need to focus on feeling better and beating this disease. Ask your doctors about a support group you could join or possibly some anti depressants you could take.
you will be OK.. this will pass and you will be a stronger person for going through this.
smile :)
2006-07-28 03:06:40 · answer #4 · answered by Tish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tina, sorry your friends have let you down...remember you are NOT alone. There are plenty of cancer patients and cancer survivors in every community.
Do some research on "Cancer Support Groups" and start going to one or two...you'll hear pleanty of similar stories and different coping strategies from your peers.
Go to a church near you and see if you like it- you might be suprised at the support and acceptance you find there.
I wish you the best honey- remember, you have cancer; cancer DOESN'T have you.
2006-07-28 03:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Recommend to find new friends for one. They are not friends and not even worthy of that terminology.
As far as the Cancer, I never had cancer and I don't wish it upon anyone.
You should be in contact with local and national Cancer Associations with the specific cancer you have and support groups.
I strongly recommend you join and participate.
I am growing out my hair to donate in a few years (trying to get it down to my knee's. it is past my butt touching my thighs now). Going to make a wig personally to donate it.
2006-07-28 03:06:14 · answer #6 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
find a support group ; people in same boat. sorry you don't have any friends that can get by the superficial looks; really shallow people.
i would just have it out with them - tell them how you feel and I am sure you were "there" for them at times; now you need some help and they bolt.
Get in there face on this one. Guess i would not keep friends that treated me like that, you didn't have any control and it doesn't matter.
i like this article:
http://www.cancerlynx.com/angels_bolters.html
take care,
Jewells
29 months and still here
2006-07-28 07:02:26 · answer #7 · answered by jewells_40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through that same thing. I decided that I would go back to school, and set goals that were very high. I spent my time studying for the LSAT and made a good score, and got in to EVERY law school that I applied to. Just set goals for yourself and work toward achieving them, be it a new hobby, or a new career.
2006-07-28 03:06:32 · answer #8 · answered by cyanne2ak 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just know that you will be cured and will be a different person. Find groups online or in town which deal in cancer patient self help,
Yo need friends but these are not friends. friends don't do this to friends.
Just have confidence that you will one day be healthy, beautiful and wealthy inside . and out.
2006-07-28 03:06:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it is because they dont want to be near yoiu they are scared and dont know how to act or what to say. Turn to God for one start praying, and then you may want to go see a therapist. I know what you are going thru. I had ovarian cancer 16 years ago. Feel free to email me if you wish, May God Bless you and may He place His healing hands of Love upon you
2006-07-28 03:06:19 · answer #10 · answered by tebone0315 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋