Should my husband get out of the Army?

Question

My husband has the chance to get out of the Army because he's not able to be deployed because of a few things and most likely they said he can get out and it would still be an honorable discharge! We could move back to Ky which would make me so happy because everyone I know and love is there...but if this happens I'll have to work as well and I really like being a homemaker!

my husband was recentally going to get sent to Germany but they didn't send him due to my depression history, but now they're talking about sending him to Iraq, but some major guy said he could get him out due to medical reasons!

my husband does want to get out... he's bitched about it everysince he joined and now he has a way out! sure the medical benefits can't be beat, but we both could have jobs in ky! and we could live with my mom until we can save up and get our own place! it wouldn't be me being selfish staying home as a homemaker! I just had a baby 4 months ago and I don't feel comfortable leaving him yet!

if anyone wants to IM me about this my screen name is jessisaylor

Another thing you may want to know...he didn't joint o protect or serve his country! He joined because he was very depressed because we had a miscarriage, the 3 days later his dad died, then a month later his bestfriend shot himself! He joined hoping he'd get sent to Iraq and killed cuz he was so upset! he regrets joining and wants out! I'm not putting any pressure on him just so everyone knows... I could care less what he chooses! but what he wants is OUT!!

okay... let me make something clear.... my husband is the one in the Army NOT me and we are stationed in WA

Some of you think this is all about me me me!!! but it isn't! This is my husbands decision! And ABout the comment that no-one should live with there mom after marriage.... first off I'm only 19, second of all it would only be until we could get our own place! Some of you just need to get over yourselves!!!

Answer 1

Having been in the Army, I would only say do it if you can get jobs as civilians. Because if you can't, you may have to have him go right back in the Army, and it kind of sucks if that happens.

And if he can't be deployed, what's wrong with that? Most people who have never served in the military, or have been part of a military family, and their only reference to the military is news reports and movies, have no idea what they're talking about.

Sure, it's hard work sometimes, but in the Army, you get free healthcare (it might not be the best, but at least you don't get charged for most stuff, or it doesn't cost as much), a lot of time off (when you're not in the field doing training or deployed), 30 days a year of vacation time (let me know of any other job that does something like that), and pretty decent retirement benefits if you make it that far.

Seriously, if he wants to get out, then consider what options are available first. If things don't seem too good, it might be better to stay in for now (unless he's lazy, in which case you probably should leave). Yes, the Army (and military in general) is tough, but they do at least give you pretty decent stuff for being in.

Answer 2

Fisrt of all that should be his choice not yours. If you are depressed you are not in the best position to ask him to leave the military. If he cant deployed, that would actually be great because hegats to stay with you and since you have a new baby and are depressed you need him around. If you guys can come unp with a better plan as far as housing, healthcare and a job then go ahead and leave the military. But to leave without any garanteed job or money for house, food and healthcare its not the best choice especially now with the baby.
You should get counseling, and i hope everything turns out good for you and your family. Theres a lot of resources for you on post that youre not going to get if you guys decide to leave. Just think it over. if that was me i would stay. Iv e been trough a lot of S@%$** with my husband being in the military but when I wigh in the options and what our lives would be like if gets out i pick the military in a heartbeat.

Answer 3

Sounds like he may well choose to leave,but being in the army is steady too. You must live on base it helps as they are not paid exactly but have comfortable decent lives there from what my friends tell me. Wanting to be near familiar places and people is quite natural so I wish both of you my best. Look through Yahoo groups there may be something there about ex and present army wives. Would be lots of great advice there. I will say a prayer for wisdom as you consider some big changes, take care.

Answer 4

The military is an excellent career for many people. Are there dangers and risks? Sure, but patriots accept this risk to defend us.

I put in my time, as did my father and uncles. My younger sister is a Colonel in the Air Force (she's taking a posting in Iraq in a few months). I have a brother-in-law in the Guard, just back from Iraq, and his eldest son just went off to basic.

Remember, folks, freedom isn't free. Whatever you husband's decision, I want you to personally know that I thank him for his service.

Answer 5

PETERK - there was nothing wrong with her question. Many people in the military go through stage when they are trying to decide to stay in or get out. Heck most people go through it every reenlistment.

Now as for the answer to you question.

Honestly I think you and you husband have some real issuses that need to be worked out. You for your depression which is understandable and for your husband the fact that he is stupid....

Why would you want to join with the intent of trying to die. He went through a whole lot of paper work and trying just so he could go to Iraq and try to die. Why didnt he just go to the local pawn shop and buy a gun or pop some pills or something. As far as I am concerned yes you need to get out of the military. Not for you sake but for the sake of all the men that will be working around him. I know I would hate to know he was watching my back. So for the militarys sake please get out and go live back home with mom.

Answer 6

If he kills a human being fighting in a war then he will be the one with depression. He would be a changed person by the time he comes home. Life would never be the same again. Look into the future and see what could happen if he stays there.

Answer 7

It's a scary time in the military. If your husband is in deed not able to be deployed because of medical problems, then I wouldn't be to worried about him staying in the military. I'm a former military spouse and I do miss Tricare Healthcare, the Commissary, the Outdoor Adventure Program and the BX. I do not miss the hassles of military life.

Answer 8

I agree with the "get out now" answers, but you made a serious mistake to post this question on Yahoo answers and questions (especially in the military category) because the message boards are SWARMING with military recruiters and military personnel (just read what "joe m" wrote) who can and will try to track you and possibly even punish you for having made it look like it's a desireable thing for your husband to "get out" of the army. And you can't even delete your question because Yahoo keeps a record of all posts.

Good luck (and may God have mercy for your husband's sake).

Answer 9

I feel there is no right or wrong answer.
It is the conviction of your husband.
Is the Iraq war justified, as perceived by your husband?
What are your convictions and his convictions?
Can your marriage withstand the hopefully, short, separation?
There are a lot of issues to consider.
Does your husband believe that US interests should come before the individuals' rights?

I really do not know. Hope that it works out fine for you.

Answer 10

As an ex soldier I have to say if he isn't deploy able and there is a way for him to stay in. HAVE HIM STAY IN..the money is alot better then out here and THE MEDICAL BENEFITS CAN'T BE BEAT.

All and all though leave the decision up to your husband, you don't want to push him either way its his career choice!!!