how do i stay a positive mother?

Question

I am the mother of three small children. I have two step children ages 4 and 5. Then my son is age 3 1/2. At times, I get extremly angry trying to get them to listen and stop fighting. I would like suggestions on how to be a positive mother and not a screaming, yelling, mad woman???

Answer 1

Ok you have your hands full. Children expect the parents to be in control and that makes them feel safer. An out of control parent scares children. And remember, some day when they're in their 20's they'll say "mom, remember the time you (yadda yadda)...yeah it comes back! lol Good luck and don't sweat the small stuff.

Answer 2

I agree with the other comments. #1Make sure you take care of the caregiver. As a young mother I sometimes felt selfish but I learned that if you don't care for yourself you CAN'T take care of them!!! #2 discipline. If you truly love them you will discipline them. Always remember to balance the punishment and reward system! The other moms had great advice on this. I found out that even at 2 yrs they should have "chores" Pick up the toys, etc. My hardest lesson was to over come OCD's I had. Even if things aren't perfectly straight-ACCEPT THEM! My girls would do things & I'd go behind them & fix it "perferct" 1 day my 4 yr old cried & said "what's the use-it's never good enough for u" WOW! 4rs old. I could remember having the same thoughts as a teenager about my dad. I think its inherited because both my girls are the same way but they realize it & are working on it (Ages 19 & 21) Make wonderful memories-can't retrieve lost time.

Answer 3

remember that you need time to your self too. If this means a night out with your man, a night out with the girls, or a bottle of wine and a bathtub- DO IT. If you don't occasionally take care of yourself, who's gonna?? You will be a better and more patient mother when you can think about "what you're gonna do the next time you go out." or, "it's only 3 more days til mom's night". Instead of feeling trapped by small kids everyday. I have 3 kids under 5, so I can relate. Another thing that helps is to stop worrying about "the house". Don't try to clean it when they're tearing it up- it's like beating your head against the wall. Wait until they are in bed for the night, and you'll be able to clean up so much faster. Another thing that helped around my house is making them be responsible for their own messes. My kids can't move on to the next adventure without cleaning up their mess from the last one (no TV until your room is clean, no going outside when your toys are in the living room, etc...) you just have to stick to your guns and following through. If they refuse, don't get upset and yell, calmly unplug the TV and walk away. Stuff like that- hoped I helped. Good luck.

Answer 4

Well, you are on your way by asking this!!! The good news is that this is easily fixed!!! Your children watch you all day long, even if you don't know it!! Smile at your children alot- I mean when they look you in the eyes, smile at them. Talk to them in a calm voice, and you keep a positive attutude,and guess what? They will mimick that attitude. They will cut back on a whole lot of screaming and fighting themselves. They will smile more. Just fix your attitude, and they will fix theirs. Fake it at first if you have too- then it will come more naturally. This is what happend to me to, I also have 3 small children, and the happier I am around them, the happier my children are throughout the day.

Answer 5

Some days you are going to feel like that- trust me. Try to make sure you encourage them when they are behaving, and learn to laugh sometimes instead of yell about everything.

What works for me is sitting them down after a deep breath so you don't yell, and tell them that you are dissapointed that they aren't behaving better. They do want to make you happy, and also want firm boundaries at this age. Be consistent in whatever you do- kids pick up on our inconsistencies really fast.

Good luck~ I have 1,3,&5 and one on the way, so I know how you feel! : )

Answer 6

Pick your battles and remeber what is age approperaite for them.

Use a reward system. I have my kids on a point system. They each get a point if they do something good, do what they are told, ect. They lose a point (although I try not to go this way and give warning before I do) if they aren't listening, hurt a sibling, ect.
Then at the end of the day they get a bedtime treat and the one with the most points gets to pick the bedtime story.

Answer 7

I was feeling the same I went on holiday to an all inclusive complex in Ibiza - great kids clubs, ice cream drinks etc good beach , nice pools. Kids happy and I got some relaxation. Back home now but I truly needed the break. If you can do that.

Answer 8

i struggle by an analogous issue to boot. #a million, you sound such as you have extremely used the adversity to earnings power, integrity, and understanding. #2 you already recognize you may no longer replace every person else. regrettably you already recognize what you should do, in spite of if its no longer the desirable issue or thank you to handle it. i'm actual basically severing ties from my kin to boot over the negativity. i'm 32 and moved out at 18 nonetheless. I actual have positioned it off for see you later hoping issues might replace - it hasn't. Me and my brother have broken faraway from them and we the two desperate it would be desirable to no longer have them in our lives. it extremely is a genuine drag nonetheless by using fact i'm married with 2 advantages - my 2 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous and 2 month previous. i might extremely like it in the event that they'd have the affection and help from my kin i did no longer get - regrettably its no longer in the taking part in cards. So i ought to shop them from each and every of the drama and instruct them myself what a loving mom is meant to be like. Its hard while its your loved ones - cuz its in comparison to you may basically run out and get a sparkling set. so as that section is tough yet you recognize you're stable adequate to do it. you have already made it this some distance on your guy or woman. do exactly what you do, and don't look returned. in the event that they slot on your existence on your guy or woman words, nice - if no longer then do no longer enable them to make u sense responsible approximately it.

Answer 9

Wine and vicodin.

Answer 10

NANNY 911 !!!!!!

Call NOW!