I'm confused about shy guys and can't figure them out. Help, please?

Question

I'm resubmitting this again because I'd like more opinions on this matter. If you already answered this question, I made some changes in some parts. The modifications will probably change your perspectives on this situation. I apologize for making this question so long, but I feel like I have to explain the situation and the circumstanes thoroughly otherwise people can't fully understand the situation and the circumstances. I get more informative answers this way.

I'm trying to understand shy guys' behavior in general. I'm shy myself, but I still find it frustrating trying to interpret their behaviors. I've had experiences with these kinds of guys for years in school and other jobs. To guys reading this: Put yourself in a girl's shoes in this situation. Also can you rate your general shyness towards girls, please? 10 being the most shy, 1 being the least shy.

Here's the scenario:

At your store where you work, there's a certain guy who appears to have a crush on you but haven't told you up front. He acts very kind, always smiles, always looks glad to see you, makes frequent eye contact when you two are apart, watches you when you're talking to another guy, is always interested in helping, looks at you when you're not looking, but immediately turns away as soon as you catch him looking at you, and does double takes (that's when he takes a glance at you, turns away and then quickly turns back to look at you again to check if it was actually you whom he saw). It's difficult to describe his facial expression and his way of behaviors with words. You're not too sure if he likes you, but you do know that he doesn't act this way towards other girls at work. It seems that because he's shy, the only way he chooses to let a girl know that he likes her is by deliberately showing little signs and not by just telling her.

Later, you begin to have a little crush on him. But you just keep it to yourself and decide that you're going to hide your feelings from him just to be safe because you're not exactly sure how he feels about you. If you were a 100% sure that he likes you, you would want to let him know that you like him, too so you two can start dating. If you're not sure if he likes you, you don't want to risk looking like a fool for letting a guy know that you like him when he doesn't feel the same. You're pretty good at hiding your true feelings so you appear as if you're not interested in him. It's not like you deliberately try to hide your feelings by stop making eye contacts or avoiding him completely or stop talking to him. You act the exact same way you did before you liked him and treat him like he was just a friend. Therefore, he doesn't have any clue that you like him.

Then suddenly one day, he's making less eye contact with you, not talking to you as much and not running into you as much. He just acts really busy and is making himself scarce. However, he still treats other people the same.


My question is: Do you think this guy is acting like he doesn't like you now because:

A) He somehow find out that you like him and is now trying to turn you off by acting this way? He never had a crush on you in the first place.

B) Since you didn't show any signs that you like him, he realized that you're not interested in him? So therefore, he stopped trying.

C) He found out that you know that he likes you so now he's embarrassed and is trying to hide his feelings? He still has doubts that you're interested in him, but isn't completely convinced that you aren't.

D) He used to like you, but now he has a new girlfriend or he likes someone else?

E) He just realized that it would be inappropriate to date a coworker. He's afraid that manageme

management will notice him acting interested in you and fire him.

F) Other (can you give me your input?)

Note: To people who would choose D. I heard him saying to someone that he doesn't have a girlfriend. It sounded like he was frustrated about not having a girlfriend and is having difficulties finding one. He seemed to be in a normal mood until that subject was brought up. If there was already another girl he liked, he wouldn't seem so down at that time.

This question does only take a couple min to read. Thanks for the people who didn't whine about this question being too long for you.

Answer 1

I think B is a very likely answer. He's trying to protect himself from disappointment and he thinks he's passed the point where he can back off and not get hurt. If it turned out that you didn't like him, he might still be able to have a functional relationship with you because things never went too far.

Answer 2

I read it all it only took a couple mins to read. But anyway i think u should just tell him how u feel, risk it all theres no reward in love if u dont take risks. Personally i think hes embarassed tha u found out about him liking you, so he stopped givin u signs. If u told him that u liked him he maybe relieved and tell u that he likes u too. My shyness towards girls i would say is about a 6 or 7, but the more im around her and talk to her, the more comfortable i feel. Good luck make sure u tell us all how things go.

Answer 3

I would say neither. Most men that are shy have a reson for being so. Myself for example, as a child I always had a hard time trusting someone. This was usually because I was not the popular one and was the kid that always got picked on. So it made it difficult for me to completly surrender my heart to someone regardless if I was deeply in love with that person.

This is not something you can easily fix or alter. The only way you could do something is to possible talk to that person more than you would normally. Have patience, its kinda like coaxing an animal out of their enviroment, it just takes some time. Put trust in that person. tell them things that you would normally not tell others, make them feel as though you are not going to hurt them.

I definatly dont think it is a lack of intrest issue. I think he is interested, but scared. Show him that he can trust you.

Answer 4

I pick B. You need to show him little signs also. If you like this guy let him know you like him too. This sooooooooo sounds like if he is interested in you. Only you have driven him to the point were he thinks you are not interested therefor he is going to stop trying. If I were you girl I would start showing signs that you are interested in him. Don't let this guy get away. I hope this answered your question. Good Luck!!!!!
Ciao~

Answer 5

If he looks at you and is offering to help you with things then I think he is stuck on you but is afraid to tell you..Some guys can be very shy and sometimes it is up to the female to take the first step and when he realizes that you do like him well maybe things will change

Answer 6

That guy that ure talking about has a serious thing going on with you, he loves you, i wouldnt say it was a crush its love
This has happend to me many times but i loved a girl who didnt love me, the pain was so unbearable, it hurt me so badly that in fact i stopped loving her, it took me about 5 months but after that i stopped looking at her or double glancing...................

If you love that guy go and get him,
so what if he rejects you!! you'll feel shame...not really
this guy loves you, go and ask him out or somthing.
Dont make the same mistake that i did.

plzz go on

Answer 7

If he likes you and he found out that you like him, there is no way that he would start acting like he didn't like you. My guess is that he doens't want to see desparate so, since you had been not showing much interest in him, he is moving on.

Answer 8

Let me be honest, I did not read your question because of the length of it. If this situation is causing you extreme emotional distress maybe you need to talk to a professional counselor, not us.

Answer 9

being a shy guy myself i would think that he lost interest cause he didnt think you liked
him

Answer 10

Too long to read...pass!!!