When will the pain end.......?

Question

I am 22 years old and I had a miscarry March 4 of this year. I think about my daughter everyday and its hard to be around babies. All my friends have babies, literally. And sadly I swear I am the last one who doesn't have children. All my friends either have good men or beautiful babies or both. And i have neither. My boss just called me and told me she found out she is pregnant today and i just started crying. Two of my friends just had their babies this month. It's not fair. I want a daughter so bad, but every man i date has kids already and don't want anymore. I swear I think about babies all the time and I just break out in tears. It's hurts becuz i almost had everything i ever wanted and now my boyfriend left me and my daughter died. RIp

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you my friend....that must have been so hard to lose your little one and then your other half...I know everyone says this, but it is true...time will ease the pain of losing your little one...you will never forget and always think about her...but try and look at things this way...she will never have her heart broken or have to go through all the hardships that life brings us.. she is safe and happy where she is and one day when the time is right, you and her will be together again..and in time you will meet someone new who will perhaps give you another little one to love and cherish...hang in there...it will ease in time...take care of yourself

Answer 2

Hey, good for you ..have a good cry because it does hurt;Sorry for your lost; try crying in the shower sometimes, your eyes will not be as red. The positive thing out of this is YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET PREGNANT. :)
I feel your pain, but do not be discouraged. I lost 4 (not to lessen your pain) babies over 6yrs, all at around week 17 of my pregnancy. I eventually had my first child when I was 26 yrs old, I am 37 yrs old now, and finally have my 2nd child, she is 11 months old. Be patient. Keep yourself healthy, stay away from drugs, tobacco products ( if possible), drink (if necessary) in moderation and love yourself not matter what. Do not give up on your desire to have a child, try to continue on with your education, career, financial planning, trips to the gym. etc. I do not be jealous of your friends, just think... their kids maybe your babysitter. And when you lest expect it you may be in a loving, committed relationship, with a loving husband, planning for a wonderful family. Get a good OB exam and see if you are able to carry a baby; you may need a cerclage (closing of your uterus with stitches) or bed rest for the pregnancy; but find out now before you try again. I do not wish multiple miscarriages on anyone, so stay encouraged. Find (self) love and everything else will find you ( when it's time). God Bless

Answer 3

The pain will fade away eventually. I too lost my first daughter. Carried her to term and just before giving birth found out she has been dead in my womb for 3 days. The pain was terrible. After that my best ftriend had twins....couldn't help but think that life was unfair.

I lost her in 1982. Now I have 3 grown up daughters, who are aware they have an angel sister up in heaven. Sometimes I do think about what if's.

I guess the pain of loss started fading when the rest of her siblings came along. Diapers and feeding times filled up my days. Its the lonely moments that get to you sometimes.

So try to be busy. It doesnt hurt to cry once in a while. Always remember that you will have other babies later on.

Be happy that other people in your life are not going through the same pain. And that for those who also have had a miscarriage, you can be a friend to them,

Answer 4

One of the most painful experiences is to lose a child.You're not the first person it's happened to and you won't be the last. Any time in your life you hear of this happening to someone else, you will feel great compassion because you know what it's like. This is part of being human, to know the suffering and joys of humanity.

To get over an experience that is so tragic begins with accepting the unacceptable. It won't change anything for the better to spend your life in mourning. There will be times when all you can do is hurt. Other times there will be other things. Sorrow carves out depths in us that will later be filled with beauty, meaning and even love.

Answer 5

the old saying is that "time heals all wounds" but I don't think that it is entirely accurate. The last thing you need right now are cliches to try to help ease the pain. My mom had a miscarriage her first child, and I didn't even know about it until recently. It would have been my only brother, and I've always wanted a brother. I fear that when I get pregnant, I might miscarry too. Trust in God, look to Him, He will bring the right guy along, and he will answer your prayers. And when you do have children (because you will), they will be ALL THE MORE special to you. Take care.

Answer 6

My heart goes out for you, dear. When my twins were delivered stillborns, it seemed like the whole world was having babies. Everywhere I looked, it reminded me of my boys. Proms? They're never going. Kites? They're never going to do that. ON and on and on. Understand that the wave of pain WILL stop coming so close together. The one thing that got me through it was joining a support group for those that suffered miscarriages, stillborns, and infertility's. Part of the problem is that people thinks that miscarriage is just passing out a zygote. It's not. It's the death of a dream, of someone you've already started to know but didn't get to know completely. Check with a local support group in your area. Ask your Oby-gyn or hospital if they have one.Or if you rather, go talk to a therapists. Good luck, dear.Also, ignore those who tells you that you have your whole life ahead of you and that you'll have another. They really don't know any better and neither of us want them to learn the hard way.

Answer 7

dont lose hope my dear. you're not the only one who experienced that. I know losing your own baby is like losing your own life but life must go on no matter how hard it is to be. as they say do your best and God will do the rest. Maybe God has a better plan for you and he knows that you can cope with the trials he is giving you right now. You're still young my dear you deserve better than your boyfriend who left after what happen. i know its hard but its more dificult if you will get married to him and then he will do the same thing. the earlier he did it the better for you i know.About your baby maybe its God's will also to take her from you that early because God doesn't want her to suffer like you. just put in your mind that your baby is in Gods hand and nothing to worry about. Be possitive my dear. You still have all the time you need to find the man that is meant to be with you forever. the man that will love you what ever happens.

Answer 8

You poor thing! I feel for you but you shouldn't lose hope - you're only 22!! You have all the time in the world and you will surely still become a mother to a wonderful girl or boy. Have faith and believe that it'll happen when it's supposed to! In the meantime I would not go to baby showers, and just explain your feelings to your friends and ask them to be understanding - if they're real friends they'll be supportive and will try to do something with you without their kids.

Answer 9

You have an obsession. Get to a psychiatrist and get some meds. The last thing a kid needs is a screwed up mother, so get your head on straight before you have one. Having a bably won't solve any of your problems. Good prescription pharmaceuticals and counseling will.

Answer 10

The more you bury yourself in this sadness... the more things will seem dark... stop feeling sorry about yourself, this won't get you any where... on contrary, if you brighten up a little, and stop watching people and what they have.... you will feel happier, and this would reflect on every aspect of your life.... you will find love, and babies will follow... and please, you are still too young... if you live in this sorrow, no one will come closer to you, and you may end up depressed and unhappy.... just live your life girl....