Everyone is dying....?

Question

Just requesting some advice on grief. I lost my father nearly two years ago and my uncle about six months ago. I don't have a whole lot of (close) relatives left and I just found out that my aunt (one out of two that I have left) has developed breast cancer. I know that these losses are nothing out of the ordinary but it just seems that here lately I've been barraged by them. Plus I'm only eighteen. I didn't expect to have to go through this until I was at least a "proper" adult, but I suppose we have to take what life throws at us... So...I'm not really sure what I'm asking here. I guess I'm just looking for some comforting words. I'm just really scared that everyone I'm close to is going to 'leave' me and I'll be left alone. Anyone else have to go through this at a young age? Are there ways to cope or should I just quit complaining?

Answer 1

Well I lost all of my grandparents at a young age so I know what you are going through.

Answer 2

You are not complaining. You sound like you are under stress and that is understandable. People die. it's a fact of life. Young, old, and all the rest. Try and develop more friendships outside your family. And remember, one day you will get married and have a family of your own, most probably. In the meantime, you might want to consult a therapist to talk these things through. Good luck. Any by the way, must because an aunt developed bc, doesn't mean she is going to die from it. Support her and involve yourself with her. You might find if you do, you will be less afraid and you will be helping her in the provess. Look outside yourself (I know it's difficult) and you might find the light at the end of the dark tunnel.

Answer 3

Darlin' I completely understand how traumatic all these losses so close together can be. You are having a really tough time of it and that's ok!
Grief is tough, if it was easy it would be called Joy.
I really really really suggest you contact a grief councelor, I think you really could use a little help sorting out your feelings...which by the way...are completely NORMAL and healthy!

My family just lost my sister-in-law. It was very sudden and completely took everyone off balance. It's thrown many of us into some really sever depression.
My sister-in-law and I were the best of friends. We were so close we usually didn't bother saying "in-law" we were sisters!
Her death has been the most painful loss I've ever had to deal with.

Hon, I know how bad you must feel, but seriously...seek out a grief councelor.

Answer 4

There is a process of grief that we must all go through. No one can just cope. We go through denial, anger, grieving and finally acceptance. Once you have gone through the process you will be able to move on with your life. Just try to remember the good times you had with all these people and how much they loved you. Nothing takes away the hole left in your heart by death, but time and life will help.

Answer 5

I lost my aunt back in 2004. I was extremly close to her. She was like my mother, in fact. She always picked me up when I managed to fall and always offered comforting words, or at least a place to stay during rough times.
There is no way to really cope with it, because I'm still grieving heavily over the loss.
There is no comfort in death, because I can't say, "Oh, well they're in a better place." Because some may not be.
But I can suggest doing things that could make them proud, like making a good life goal, or doing something that could help out your community.
But all in all, I don't think there is a way to cope with it. Crying helps. Because you may never get over the loss, but in time, it'll get better.

Answer 6

I lost my father at the age of nine, my grandmother at the age of 12, than my grandfather at the age of 15. I know how you feel.
The pain never goes away but does get easier. As long as, you don't lock yourself away from everyone else that loves and cares for you this too you shall conquer.
There are many grief groups out there you just have to know where to go. I hope you find this helpful. They will be able to lead you to someone in your area. Or you can call one yourself. Salvation Army can give you information in your area for group support.

Answer 7

There is never a way to cope just ways to deal with it and go on. I know it is hard to loose a loved one. My grandfather died in Jan 2000, my uncle May 2000 and my dad in Dec 2000. It seemed like we were just dealing with loosing one when another would be taken from us. A few days before my dad died I was sitting with him and I started to cry because I knew our time was short and didn't want to loose him. He told me then that no matter what we couldn't change it he was going to die but he would always be with me in my heart and that he didn't want me to dwell on the loosing him but instead all the moments we shared during my life and you know what it helps. Whenever I think about the ones I lost I don't remember the ending instead I think about something we did or something they did to make me laugh and then I am smiling again.

Answer 8

Your feeling are valid, dear. It's devastating to lose anyone. Some people are blessed and some get slammed. It helps to talk to someone, like a therapist.Also, losing your father is a deep loss. I've found that joining a grief group had saved my sanity. You find that you're not alone. Good luck, dear.

Answer 9

I haven't gone through something like that, but I'm sorry that that has happened to you and your family. Not everyone is going to leave you. Friends sometimes become so close they're almost family. Stay strong and pray, maybe that'll help. Don't bottle up your feelings because that'll make it worse for you. God bless.

Answer 10

you're not really complaining..... just scared. don't know what to tell you... some people get inner peace by believing they are still with you in spirit. some people just try to remember all the good times and keep the memories with them. some people just share more time with friends to compensate... everyone copes in different ways. it's ok to be scared.... come to terms... we all die one day. some face more of it at a younger age.... some later in life. it's just life... there's no life without death.