my mother, with stage 4 lung, brain, lymph, trachea. diagnosed april 12. how much time do we have with her?

Question

my mother is very independant. im not sure how long i have with her. being in colorado and she in south carolina. im not sure she is being completly truthful with her diagnosis. i beleive she is more ill than she tells us, what should i do?

Answer 1

Stage 4 and already spread that far. She could not be worse. How long? It depends on her. However, it could be less than a week. It is unlikely to be to Christmas.

Answer 2

If at all possible, go to her now when she still has some quality of life left. With stage 4 cancer, she is in the final act of life. With lung, brain & lymph involvement, the time could be very quick indeed. I'm guessing her breathing will get much worse where she will have difficulty finding the breath or energy to tell you what her final words are,. Also with brain involvement, there will be memory lapses, confusion and at some stage, she will probably not even know who you are. With lymp involvement, you are probably lucky she is still among the living after 3 months. And you say you think she is more ill than you think? How much more ill could a person be? May I ask who is caring for her now? Could you call them & ask them about her "true" condition? If she is in a Hospice House or nursing home, call & talk to the nurse on staff. Otherwise, call & ask about her condition from her caretaker. With her multitude of problems, I would hope someone is there to help her.

If she were my mother, I would make arrangements immediately to take an extended trip to visit her. You will be glad you did (and so will she). Good Luck & Good Bye.

PS As far as the length of time your mother may have let....only God & your mother can decide that. But time is running out.

Answer 3

Rapid shallow breathing

Alternative Names:

Tachypnea; Breathing - rapid and shallow; Fast shallow breathing; Respiratory rate - rapid and shallow


Definition:

A normal breathing rate for an adult at rest is 8 to 16 breaths/minute. For an infant, a normal rate is up to 44 breaths/minute. Tachypnea is a medical term that your doctor would use to describe your breathing if it is too fast, particularly if you have rapid, shallow breathing due to an associated lung disease or other medical cause.

In contrast, the term hyperventilation is usually used if you are taking rapid, deep breaths because of anxiety or panic. The terms may be used interchangeably, however.


Common Causes:

Shallow, rapid breathing has many potential medical causes. A partial list includes:

Asthma
Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD)
Chest pain
Pneumonia or other lung infection
Pulmonary embolism
Transient tachypnea of the newborn
Metabolic acidosis

For more information just click on the link below?

Answer 4

From what you say, your mom has advanced metastatic cancer. Stage 4 is the final stage. Depending on whether or not she chooses to continue treatments and how she is responding to treatments, to be painfully honest with you she likely has no more than one year from the date it was diagnosed as stage IV. I don't know where the primary cancer was located, but obviously it has metastacised (traveled beyond the original tumor) and has invaded numerous other organs. Here is an excellent site for information:
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/home/index.asp?level=0

Good luck with your mom, and I'm sure sorry. Feel free to contact me if you need some support. I lost my own Mom to metastatic breast cancer and I know what a rough time you have ahead. ~Sammie

Answer 5

You should be present with her if possible. Tell her all the things you ever wanted to. Pray for her and I will too.

Only the Lord knows for sure how much time He still has planned for her here on this earth. It could be a very short time or a longer time than is expected -- so make every moment count. Enjoy every moment with her because you are in a position to realize something that is true for all of us -- but we don't act like it until faced with something like your mother's situation.

Life really is a gift from God. His love for her transcends this earthly life -- as she moves into life everlasting with Him in heaven.

Answer 6

If this is the case, less than a year most likely. It's unfortunate you two live so far apart. I'd make an effort to take the trip and spend some time with her, especially before she becomes too sick.

Answer 7

Go to her, and be with her. My mother was incredibly independant and played down her heart conditions. I did'nt see her often, but I did call regularly. Then one morning the phone rang, and we learned that she had died. Thing is, I learned the hard way that once she's gone, you'll NEVER get her back. Like many, it never occured to me that she'd be gone.(the way my life is, I thought I'D go before anyone). With me, I'm left with MANY regrets about the things I never got to say, the things I never got to share with her. Forever is a bitter lesson.

Answer 8

If it's possible to go to see her right away, don't put it off. Your moms diagnosis is very serious, only god knows for sure how much time is left. Spend as much time together as possible.

Answer 9

I would spend alot of time on the phone with Mom......My father had 7 years with bone cancer and he never complaint or told me just how bad it was but I had a chance to spend most of the time with him on the phone since i was in Germany and he was in Canada......he did tell me how much he looked forward to receiving my calls. Now i have the cancer in me and i am a fighter and it all depends on ur outlook on life and the support of family and friends, it sounds like ur Mom is a stong woman and she is dealing with it in her way.....no one can know how long u have on this earth, pls. enjoy every moment that God gives u and ur Mom..............Bless u and family and MOM.

Answer 10

You better get over to see her FAST. If she's in stage four you have could have a week or 6 months but you won't have long.