My boyfriend was diagnosed with brain tumor 2-3 years ago. He stops taking any medicine and treatment after he thinks he has okay. But, for the past few months, his head feel sick again. It’s just like before, when he was sick. Now, he did not take any medicine because if he did, he easily forgetting many things. Nobody knows about this even his family and friends except me. But, thanks to god, I succeed to persuade him to seeing the doctor. 2morrow i want to accompany him to do check up with the doctor. I just want to know what I should do, should I go with him to the doctor's room or waiting outside. What should i say if the results are bad? How can i tell his mother about his illness? (His family doesn't know about that)
if he must stay in ward tomorrow, I’m the one who must tell his family. That’s our promise..
2006-07-27 18:01:01 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Community Service
he's not just a friend. his my boyfriend
2006-07-27 19:12:26 · update #1
If your boyfiend does not give you the opportunity to go back with him, when he is gone, go to the desk and tell the secretary that it is imperitive that you speak to the doctor. Ask her to have the doctor call you because you have some information that you know your boyfriend will not share with the doctor. Tell her this information is very important in regards to his health. That secretary will either have the nurse come to speak to you or have the doctor call you later....especially if the office is a very caring medical facility.
If you do not hear from the doctor, call every day until you do get to speak to him. This is for your boyfriends welfare. Good luck and please don't hesitate to email me if you need any further info.
Chances are, your boyfriend won't know anything tomorrow as tests will have to be run. Unless the doctor feels that your boyfriend's health is in immediate danger, the tests will be run on an outpatient basis.
It is not your position, as a girlfriend, to tell the family anything. He has to do that or, with his permission if he is over 18, the doctor will ahve to tell the family the diagnosis. If he is under 18, the doctor would automatically tell the family.
If he is admitted to the hospital, he will have access to a phone and can call his family himself to tell them that he is in the hospital for testing because he hasn't been well.
2006-07-27 18:12:34 · answer #1 · answered by ilse72 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
A good friend is there with you regardless of fear of bad news. If he wishes you to go in, you should, that part is really up to him.
If the results are bad, just say, "I am here for you, for however long it takes. If you have to inform his family, I suggest you sit down with them and start by saying he is ill and it is not so good. Then you can explain what the doctor said. You will need to be strong for him, but I can see that you are a good friend to him and that really helps. Good luck to you.
2006-07-27 18:19:16 · answer #2 · answered by Seikilos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, let me tell you that if I was your boyfriend, I would be so very grateful for such a very caring and devoted friend and companion such as yourself.
That being said, if you are allowed to go to the doctor's room with him, I would say go with him. If he won't let you go back, ask to speak to a nurse and let them know ALL of the information that you know regarding his illness as this will help the doctor as well as the recovery of your boyfriend. He may not want to tell the doctor these things, but, it sounds like you care alot about him and want to keep him around. Telling the doctor the information you know that your boyfriend may forget to tell the doctor will help accomplish this. Follow up with the doctor to see what the test results are, if in fact your boyfriend will allow you to find out these results.
You both may not find out anything at all immediately, but keep abreast of all the information regarding his condition and even write it all down, because at sometime in the near future, you may need to divulge it all to the family members. They may want to know why he isn't telling them or hasn't said anything about his condition. You may want to ask him what you should say to them when this question is asked, because it inevitably will be.
There is a privacy issue involved, depending upon where you live, so I would approach your boyfriend to give you permission to be his advocate, do have his ok to be informed of the diagnosis, prognosis and what treatments are available. He may not be in a position to remember, so have him sign the privacy notice and all paperwork to signify that, should he not be able to remember or function, you will be there to see things through. If he is 17 or under, the doctor will contact the family regarding his condition. If he is 18 or older, you must get his permission first before any of the information can be shared with you. But only with his permission can you tell anyone else, that includes his family. So get his permission first, then, honor his wishes as to whom knows about his illness. I would hope that he would want his family to know, but only your boyfriend and yourself know the condition of his relationship with his family. Honor is something that is most treasured in a relationship, so honor his wishes. They might be his dying ones.
In my own opinion, he should call the family to at least let them know what is up and why he is doing what he is doing and what is going to happen next. It is really his place to do this. I know you want to help, and help you should, but only if he is incapable of it physically. If he can let the family know, it should come from him. It's his place not yours to do so.
Brain illnesses are serious issues, and he would need the support regardless of the news he gets when tested or whenever test results get back. If the results are bad, support him and be strong and be there for him, because he will need it. It's not the time to point fingers and blame things or actions not taken. It is what it is. If he stays in the ward, then the issue about who knows he has the illness kind of takes care of itself with the promise made between you two. At that time, inform them just as you promised.
Hope this helps
2006-07-27 18:54:42 · answer #3 · answered by NM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Ani. If your friend does not mind, go with them to the doctor. It would be a terrible thing to face tragic NeWS alone. I know I wept when I heard about my father's stroke from the consultants. Thankfully my brother was there. I hope you would never regret supporting your friend. Not being at hand when my darling Gwen was taken affected me terribly
With love and sympathy, Rose.
2006-07-27 18:13:32 · answer #4 · answered by rose p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your boyfriend what he is most comfortable with. If he wants to go in alone, ask him to write down what the doctor says, so he can review it later. Respect his wishes, and offer him as much choice and independence as possible. You may not always be with him, but you can help him to be as strong as possible when he is on his own. Good Luck.
2006-07-27 18:18:24 · answer #5 · answered by Felicia C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a good friend to want to go with him. It is entirely up to him whether or not he wants you in the exam room when he sees the doctor. It is his privacy and you have to respect that.
2006-07-27 18:41:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is imperative that someone close to this young man be made aware of his condition. If what you are describing is true, he hasn't many years left to live in a normal condition. Are you going to marry him yet? That's the question.
2006-07-31 17:43:02 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the doctors office with him and hold his hand. Be there for him.
2006-07-27 18:13:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋