Guys and Girls pls help.. I really need your advice..?

Question

We are 4yrs now. and We're having a misunderstanding. I ask him if he want to save this relationship, he said "I need space, I want to find myself if you ask me now if we can save this problem, no we can't save it. ask me after I have found myself" I do what's best for our relationship. What will I do? do I need to wait for him? or I just move on? (I had sleepless nights and no appetite) What will I do, Pls. help. Thanks.

Answer 1

i just went throuhg the exact same thing as you..and here is my advice..

he may be telling the truth, i think he is. so dont think he is lying to you, guys really do need space sometimes, they feel smothered, and when they feel smothered they get scared, and they get cold feet and commitment to a relationship and their friends become very difficult.
so i say give him space. he will come back. but u never know how long it will take him to realize u are the one. he is just scared he found the right girl for him too soon, thats all. it may even take him dating another girl to realize this.

when me and my ex went through this i didnt eat for like 4 days, i just couldnt, i couldnt sleep, and i was wearing myself out trying to find answers.

if you dont give him the space, he wont come back. and by space i mean, dont call him, let him call you, dont let him see you down or sad, go out and have fun, date other guys even if u have to, do whatever u have to do to take your mind off of it.

also, remaining friends could be the best thing you two could do, it will bring u closer and maybe even start a fresh and better relationship. just give it time, once he realizes what he lost he will be back. commitment just seems to scare guys off, especially if they are young, because they feel like they are spending too much time with you and missin out on all the fun with their other friends

but just remeber what i told you dont call, dont write, it will only push him away more and then he will get annoyed.
dont let him see u sad, let him see u having fun..


good luck hun:)

Answer 2

Don't be week, after 4 years and he needs space. That means he is not serious and he found somebody else and he want this space to compare between you tow.
Such type of people can be known from the beginning but your love to have make you blind.
Problems of relationships in the civilized west is that it begins with sex and breaks up because of sex. It doesn't start with an idea of building a family and planing to live together with each partner. This requires both parties to give a way some of their personal desires and wishes and to try to find common understanding.
I believe that you must give him an ultimatum and don't wait for a long time. This will hurt you more. Take the initiative and act quickly because surly you seems a very nice person who deserves a better man and next time when you start a relation, think about starting a family and not for good time. There is lots of good times and fun in doing that and that's what we have been created for.. to build and not to destroy...

Best wishes

Answer 3

Being in a relationship needs going through different aspects of test among each other. through times being together both of you will face difficulties in understanding each other. Try to give each other sometimes to be alone to sort the problems out.

Do not let your emotion over rule your mind. The more you think the more you want to have a solution to the problem and this usually turn out to be even worse. Give a time frame about 2-3 weeks by not even calling each other and just relax and slowing sort out your thoughts.

Once both your thoughts had been sorted out arrange for a meet up. Let's nature takes its own way you'll be surprise by then you may came to know the level of love for each other as to whether the relationship still able to carry on or not.

Always prepare for the worst and tell yourself no matter what the outcome life still goes on. It just a part & parcel of our life in finding true love. :-)

Answer 4

All this drama over a "misunderstanding"? I strongly believe it runs deeper than what you are looking at on the surface. He gave you your answer and you refuse to accept it, much like you are in denial that a larger problem existed to bring it to this point. Get some sleep, eat something for Pete's sake and take it day by day. If you have a good line of communication, anything is possible, but if you fail to recognize the problem, you won't be able to find a solution.

Answer 5

Move on honey! There is not a single reason on earth for you to sit around like a puppy in a store window waiting for him to make up his mind whether he wants to be with you or not. The sleeples nights and lack of appetite will fade. You can do much better than this.

Answer 6

I think he answered your question of does he want to save the relationship....with a no. He doesn't want a relationship, he wants himself right now. Right or wrong, he thinks that's what he wants, so let him have it. I would honestly let him have his space and move on. I'm so sorry, I know this must hurt bad. Please don't blame yourself, it's just not the right thing at the right time. The right guy will come along, and it will be wonderful! Best of luck to you!

Answer 7

i would give him his space but i will tell you when they say that it usually means that they are wanting to run around and see if they can find someone else..and if he does not find someone to satisfy his needs then he may come back.. if he waits to long i would tell him to hit the road...cause a friend of mine was told that and she has not heard from him in 2 months..she really got hurt over this because she cared for him.. when you get serious they are ready to run away..it seems any way i understand the sleepless nights and depression she still has that..

Answer 8

Give him his space for some time about a week to a month.
Some times after being with a person for some time a person needs space to think about what they really want to do.
I think if he doesn't come around after about two months, give or take a two weeks, he is tired of the relationship and wants out.
You should let him go if it comes to this.
Do what you think is right, follow your heart,
Good luck.

Answer 9

First ask to yourself if you are the kind of girl who would be patient enough to wait the man until he finds himself (which by the way seems a big question mark in terms of time)... Are you emotionally strong to wait for undetermined time? Personally I'm not but you are you... If I was calm and patient then I would give him time without raising false hopes... If I wasn't patient I would call it a day! Move on!

Answer 10

As much as I hate to say this, usually when someone tells you they need "their space", they are trying to let you down easy in ending the relationship. He's trying not to hurt you and taking the easy way out (from his point of view anyway)! After all, why after 4 years, would someone suddenly decide they need their space. Yes, it hurts, but someday you'll realize just why this had to happen. For now, I suggest you move on. Who knows? Just one date with someone else, and he might decide he doesn't want "his space" anymore. Best of luck....and I hope things turn out just the way you want them to!