Three weeks ago I gave birth to a little baby girl. We have always had a special routine in our home. At bedtime I have never had a problem getting my 4 year old and 5 year old daughters to bed. Now it takes over an hour and a half to get my 4 year old to go to bed. We have been keeping the same routine, however, she will no longer go to bed. She finds any excuse to get out of bed. She will say she has to go potty... she goes just prior to going to bed, she will claim that she needs a drink from the drinking fountain... she has a sippy cup of water by her bed. She will try to get every little stuffed animal she can in bed with her, even though she knows she can only have one. She will cry for a special blanket, every night she wants a different blanket. It's horrible. I haven't had any trouble with my 5 year old daughter. Could this be a way of acting out because of the new baby? Or is this normal for a 4 year old to do this? My older daughter never did this.
2006-07-27 17:24:59 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Sounds like someone needs a little extra cuddling... she WAS the youngest after all... She's lost a bit of control in her world that she was just starting to understand. Maybe go out of your way to have her help put the baby down before her bed time... so you can get a few extra cuddles and a book in, if possible.
This too shall pass :)
2006-07-27 17:30:20 · answer #1 · answered by mama_bears_den 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds very much like your 4-year old is envious of the attention you give to the new baby. She has been your baby for 4 years, and now has been usurped from her position by a rival. Your 5-year old did not do this because she was so much younger when she lost her status as the baby.
Your second child needs reassurance that she is still special to you. When the baby sleeps give some special affection to your 4 year old. You might even arrange for your husband to watch the baby and 5 year old and take the second child with you when you go shopping, or some other outing.
Involve her in the baby's care. Ask her to get your diapers and wipes. Let her pick out the outfits for the baby. She can help you bathe her. If you give the baby bottles, the 4 year old can hold the bottle. Teach her to play with her new sibling.
Eventually, she will accept the new baby and will enjoy her role as the big sister.
2006-07-28 00:38:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have four boys. ages 10, 6, and 2 mos...never had that problem. but...doesn't mean she may feel a little insecure about where she fits in this new picture. You may have to stick to the same routine, but be harsher about it...do the potty, water, pick out an animal for night time...ALL before bed..and if she gets up...say NO MAM, explain to her that she HAS already done this, and now it is bed time...and walk her right back to her bed. no extra kisses or hugs...u have ALREADY done that. it may take her time that you are not going to give in. and during the day reassure her through out the day that you love her. When handling the baby around her make a special point to her that you are aware of her...do special smiles at her, little winks, kisses on foreheads...she may need a little extra from you to reassure her you still love her just as much as before.
I am sure this won't last long, and I know from other friends and family that this normal for some to feel insecure, jealous or just feel left out...
2006-07-28 00:37:30 · answer #3 · answered by Carla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably feeling a little insecure about her previos status as the baby in the family and maybe jealous at the same time. She doesn't see the routine as staying the same because of the new baby.
I would try to spend just a tad bit more time early in the evening, if possible, with her. Find some extra time (yeah, I know...WHAT extra time?) but you know what I'm talking about....maybe the two of you could go for a walk to the park or something, or take a drive (or walk if its close enough) for an ice cream. Go out on the porch and talk about her day, read her a special story....eventually, I think she will realize her position in the family hasn't really changed.
Good luck!!
2006-07-28 00:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by kath68142 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last 2 years of my life were beautiful. My boys 2 1/2 and 1 1/2..went to bed like clock work 7pm...till 7am....now in the last month....FREAKIN' NIGHTMARES. I beleive these are just tests. Of course shes milking the baby thing, you probably made an extra point to make sure the other girls didnt feel left out with the new baby around, and thats honerable..but i bet now shes trying to see how far you will take it. How MUCH will mommy do to accomidate me, so i dont reject the baby? I am sure of it. I know my kids are younger...I am still trying to figure out why they are testing me...(actually its because when they are good i back off, then when my guard is down, they pounce on me....STRESS!! haha) BUT...kids are smart. Your just going to have to be firm, and consistant..it may take a bit, but when she is reassured you wont put up with it it will subside. good luck.
2006-07-28 00:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by bangbanks72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your newborn.This behavior is perfectly normal. Don't worry to much and try not to make to much of a deal about it.4 yr old are clever little ones and will try every trick in the book to get out of bedtime and spend more time with mum and dad. She is just a bit out of sorts as she is not the 'baby; anymore.Try and spend 10 Min's Reading her a story in her room when she goes to bed.I know its hard as you are very busy.She then needs to be told firmly to stay in her room and go to sleep.A night light may help.If she gets up or calls out answer her but don't go in to her.Persevere and you will win.....good luck
2006-07-28 01:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to put your foot down. Raising a child involves crying, unfortunately. But you are the mom, which means you are the boss. Bed time means bed time, come what may. Hold to your rules, hold to your routine but do not cave in. Soon, your little girl will get it. It's all about the hard line: What you say goes. Period.
2006-07-28 00:30:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is just acting out because of the new baby. I would just give it some time. It is a big adjustment for the "baby" when a new baby comes into the picture. Maybe some special mom time with just her during the day would help. It is a big adjustment for her too. Good luck!!!!!
2006-07-28 00:33:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello i have the same problem with my 3 year old she use to go to bed so easy and now she makes up things so she dont have to.. i am 17 years old so i dont really know much about how to deal with these things but maybe you should try letting her take a bath b4 bed and giving her a cup of milk and turn all the lights off and just set there and when she trys to get up get her b4 she gets up... thats what i do to mine and after maybe 10 mins she knows she cant get up so she just lays there and goes to sleep hope i could help you...
2006-07-28 00:44:00 · answer #9 · answered by ~*Baby Cakes*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SHE IS 4...you are...how old? Who is in charge here? Of course she keeps asking for things if she keeps receiving. You need to lay down the law and get her in that bed. Set consequences and rewards if you must. Have you ever watched Dr. Phil? You take charge and stop letting your 4 year old get whatever she wants when it is bed time. Sometimes it takes one night of listening to your child pitch a fit, but after that she will eventually learn. Good luck mommy! REMEMBER...YOU ARE THE BOSS NOT YOUR 4 YEAR OLD!
2006-07-28 00:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by harmony 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋