My father started drinking the year 1971 and started haveing problems 2004. (seriouse problems) he stared makeing my life a liveing hell and my little sisters. Our mother moved away when i was 2 because she had a problem, But she never came back. Know im 14 and and my little sister is 12, we have a choise to move with my Aunt Dawn or stay and take care of him. I love him and i just cant leave him like this! If i move up here then i will leave my friends,boyfriend, and a lot more! Yes i will leave my past but will i have a beter Future?
2006-07-27 16:34:37 · 14 answers · asked by Christina K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
liquid exlax. or... liquid plumber. either way, enough of it is going to hurt.
2006-07-27 16:45:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Christina K:
They are all right. Al-ATeen will help you sort through your feelings with other teen girls and guys and a Sponser who's been there.
My father is an alcoholic and if I could have gotten away, I would have, believe me. It's not the End of the world, he may NEVER get help unless he sees you are too scared be in that "living hell" as you put it anymore. Do you love your Aunt and feel safe staying with her for a while? If you do, talk with her and see if you can visit often, but living with an alcoholic who's not sober can go from bad to worse. Your dad will only see he has a problem if he has no one around to hide his problem of drinking from him, (you will learn about co-dependents later) but for now, remember this: YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. YOU WILL MISS YOUR FRIENDS, YOU WILL MISS YOUR BOYFRIEND A LOT! but if they all love you, they will keep in touch and want to see living in safe, happier environment for the time being. Who knows? It may be for a short while but the only way to a better future is to get out of the dysfunction and get yourself some counseling by calling 1-888-425-2666. They will help you sort this out, try to see if the Plus sides of living with your Aunt, I know you will be homesick for your dad, your boyfriend, and your friends, but surely your Aunt Dawn loves you and will let you visit your father and your old friends during holidays or vacations from school? Talk it over with her and see what the situation will be like there before you move. Make sure that you call Al-A-Teen and get some counseling so you can be okay with what you decide.
2006-07-27 23:49:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a terrible situation.
First, if you feel at all threatened, that is, you fear that something will happen to you or your sister, you should probably just go. Be honest with your friends about why you are leaving, and they will be inclined to stay in touch with you.
If you feel that you CAN talk to your dad about this, then explain what you are thinking of doing. Set the condition that your dad needs to get treatment NOW if he wants you to stay. If he says that it's not available, then check your phone book, your city or county will have an Alcohol program listed on it's own or under "Health Services". Of course, only do this if you are comfortable in doing so.
You might just have to leave to send the message. You can leave and set a condition that he must get treatement and stop drinking for you to come back.
And, of course, watch yourself. Your father is an addict. It's not his fault, but he is an addict, and you are the child of an addict. You need to always keep an eye on yourself to make sure that you don't become one yourself. You CAN prevent it, but you will need more vigilance than most.
Good luck, and remember, your safety and well-being will need to come first. There are too many people no longer with us who didn't get out in time.
2006-07-27 23:44:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mutantmoose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
k. I'm a psychology major, but not a psychologist. However, I would advise leaving the environment which is causing distress. If you move with your aunt, she can help you with your coping with the change. She can also get your father the help he needs. If he is a serious threat to you, your sister, or himself he NEEDS help. Don't look at it as a bad thing, rather a chance to get him back. My uncle, grandfather, great grandfather were all alcoholics--I know what you're going through. It can be hell, hang in there and do what you think is right. God Bless.
2006-07-27 23:43:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not responsible for your father and you can't help someone who does not want to help themselves. If you have a loving, caring adult who can provide you a stable, safe environment, take it. It may be the wake-up call your dad needs to get his act together.
Maybe you can check out some books at the library to help understand the situation better.
When Parents Have Problems: A Book for Teens and Older Children With an Abusive, Alcoholic, or Mentally Ill Parent (Paperback) by Susan B. Miller
2006-07-27 23:44:04 · answer #5 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you will have a better life without your father. You two should not be living with him if he is as bad as you say. Alcoholism is a disease and your father can't help his drinking on his own. He needs help!!! you two need to move in with your Aunt Dawn as soon as possible. Maybe it will open up his eyes once you guys are gone. Save you and your sis and move on to a better life because you deserve it!!!:-)
2006-07-27 23:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anastacia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your responsibility or your sisters to take care of your father.
You and your sister are the kids and your father is the adult. He should be the one supporting the both of you.
It would be best if you and your sister moved in w/ your Aunt.
You could still keep in touch w/ your friends and your boyfriend over the telephone and through email.
2006-07-27 23:41:35 · answer #7 · answered by sandiegogal2002@yahoo.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THere is an organization known as Alateen. It is for kids that are in the situation that you are in right now. They will help you out! You will also have a new group of friends (along with the old ones) who will understand your situation and will be able to help you make some great decisions and will be able to emotionally support you. They will also give you some ideas on what else you can do.
2006-07-27 23:41:30 · answer #8 · answered by sheristeele 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you help your dad, you will only be helping him stay addicted to the drug alcohol. That is called co-dependency. Much most likely your dad will have to loose everything before he chooses to turn around. The faster he looses everything the faster he will need to make a choice. Please, do not hold him back from healing. Go live with your aunt. You can write, e-mail, or call your friends. Besides, you will truly know who your friends are if they stay in contact with you and you will have someone(s) to visit once in a while.
2006-07-27 23:42:59 · answer #9 · answered by Richard15 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! Move in with your Aunt Dawn until your father can get straight. He needs to be sober to take care of you, and you're not responsible to take care of him! Don't ruin your life trying to take care of him, because he won't take care of himself!
Don't feel sad. You will always have a bond with your father; but just make sure that you're safe and cared for first.
2006-07-27 23:41:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi ,
talk to ur dad. have a long walk with him ( dont take ur sister )...
tell him about ur future, ur studies and the life of ur sister then on... he will def. understand. dont get frustated. if u want to part ur father, then dont do it now... be with him in this serious health condition. make him ur friend. there is every thing in this world that can be turned and so ur father too. dont take decisions that rip ur family apart. God is there. pray to God along with ur father and ur sister. ask ur father to pray to god. this will def. work.
Believe in God. He will come to u running when u take a single step towards him. take that now.
Warm Regards, Prabhakar
2006-07-27 23:45:04 · answer #11 · answered by jprabhakar01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋