This girl and I went out for a few months before we went to prom together in April. Prom was such a disaster (she made my night a living Hell) that we broke up. We have been talking a lot over this period of about two or so months after prom now and we really enjoy each other's company. I love talking to her and being with her, but prom was a horrible night that I thought I could never forgive her, but now I find myself sitting here saying "Ahh, it wasnt that big of a deal."
So, I have been on vacation in Hilton Head with all my family for about a week and half. A couple days into the trip, she called me and we talked for a couple hours. During the conversation she just blerted out "I love you." And I asked her if she really meant it, and she said yes. I didn't know what to say. I just told her that I don't feel like that about her, yet. She understood, but I don't know if I should have said it back.
What would you have said?
2006-07-27 15:58:57 · 29 answers · asked by radchad25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Congratulations. For once, someone managed to say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. Don't say something you don't mean, especially in a relationship. Maybe you'll get past the Prom thing, maybe not. Maybe you need to talk to her about why it was so awful. Whatever happens, stay honest with yourself and with her.
2006-07-27 16:02:05 · answer #1 · answered by swbiblio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most proms are a disaster so don't sweat the small stuff.
It seems like your reaction was more of shock and its natural. You had the deer in the head light look, full on, I'm sure. lol
Honestly I would have had the same reaction. What are you supposed to say? I guess you would've hung up and tried to explain it as, your cell dropped the call. It would have at least given you some time to contemplate your answer/response.
Keep up the norm with her and evaluate how you really feel about the relationship. Don't score everything on Prom night either, remember that night sucks for almost everyone except the exceptionally popular queen and king.
You have plenty of time to figure out how you feel and to explain the shock you faced when she showed her feelings.
2006-07-27 23:07:39 · answer #2 · answered by ~brigit~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have said it back if I felt that way, but if I didn't (Or didn't think I did) I would have said the same thing. They say absences makes the heart grow fonder. Perhaps you started thinking about her more, or thought about the situation of Prom not really being a big deal. Either way, if you still feel like you love her test this out by spending time with her again after vacation. Maybe you're just having a break-up period. It happens with long term relationships.
2006-07-27 23:13:27 · answer #3 · answered by Marcus O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u r somewhat interested in her since u are STAYING on the phone for hours with her......plus u said "yet"
but dooooo remember that prom is stressful for a girl, and if she's the type that gets mean during stressful times in her life, you aren't gonna be a happy man very much. girls always have ways 2 stress themselves out, whether its prom or deciding what college 2 go 2 or getting (or not getting!) and engagement ring, having babies, etc. stressful times should draw a good couple together or make them stronger in their resolve 2 be together, not be a point when they break up. i think this is a bad sign for you two. make it work if u want to, but if she starts getting hissy when she's stressed a second time, goodbye grace ;)
2006-07-27 23:04:53 · answer #4 · answered by Hot Lips 4077 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's "blurted" not blerted.
I think you did the right thing by not saying something that you were not ready to say. Kudos to you for being honest with her by telling her just how you feel - that was the right way to go!! Don't ever tell a woman that you love her if you don't - it wouldn't be fair to either of you.
2006-07-27 23:04:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have told her what specifically happened at Prom that put you off.
The biggest problems relationships face is when one of the friends or partners has a bitter feeling (aka resentment) towards the other person. If you can establish an open line of communication, WITHOUT BEING HOSTILE, your relationship with her will stand a better chance of rising from the ashes.
2006-07-27 23:04:22 · answer #6 · answered by Rudy G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, you did the right thing! Don't ever play with peoples feelings and I really like that you were so honest! I tell you this cause I didn't say it to my boyfriend until I was sure too and he understood when I told him I didn't feel the same way yet. Best of luck!!!
2006-07-27 23:04:15 · answer #7 · answered by aries 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said exactly the right thing. Honesty is always the best policy, especially in matters of the heart. Say what you mean when the time is right, you'll never go wrong!
If you do grow to love her, tell her. It's worth every risk!
2006-07-27 23:06:24 · answer #8 · answered by AK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you weren't sure whether or not you should have said you loved her too or not is sign that you don't like her that way. If you really loved her back, you wouldn't have a doubt in your mind. I think i would have told her the same thing you did. but on the plus side, i think you were right to say how you felt even if it wasn't the same as she did.
2006-07-27 23:07:07 · answer #9 · answered by viv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had felt the same way you did, I would've said the same thing. It was best you did because that way she can't blame you for leading her on or something if it doesn't work out later. Never say I love you unless you mean it, especially to someone who is saying it to you for reals. It will only make things worse if it doesn't work out.
2006-07-27 23:03:58 · answer #10 · answered by Curious_Camo_Jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋