make me laugh and get 10 points?

Question

whoever makes me laught the most will get 10 points

LedZepBabe,Arun Prasath, both real funny... i'll have to think about it and see what else i get in the next day

Answer 1

Here is a dirty joke:


Two horses were walking and one fell in the mud. ;-)



Wait wait.... Here is a good one:


Setting: The Cajun swampy area of southern Louisiana. (Think "Waterboy").

Boudreaux's Wife (Cajun accent): Boudreaux, do you think my breast are to small...? I want a boob job!

Boudreaux (Cajun accent): Before you spend my money try rubbing toilet tissue between you breast.

Boudreaux's Wife: And what is that supposed to do?!?!

Boudreaux's: I don't know... But you have been doing it to you a$$ and look how big it has gotten!!!! :-o

Answer 2

if u r a soft ware u will feel the joke...


LETTER to BOSS...

A Boss looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see

a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client
side

on a critical project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye". With the

worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling

hands:-

Dear Sir,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving

the job. The offer was too lucritive and attractive for me to turn down.

I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you.

I am sorry but I had no choice.

The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of

which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no
need to

worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working

upon,

have been completed halfway. I am su re the new person who would replace
me

would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your

convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been

doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my

insight and "big heart".

I am ofcourse retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the
purpose

of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from

you. Ofcourse, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the compnay
(since I

Am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from
our

Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is situated in
another City.

Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get

in

touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always

with me.
Last but not the least. I also have the 7000 Rs entrusted to me by our

company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am

sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus

from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my
command.

I thank you for that in advance, and assure you that I will surely
invest

them wisely (but not in your company's stocks of course).

Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from

your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better
programs

for the new company.

Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I
will

surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job

in the new company which I am joining.

Your faithful employee,

S. W. Engineer

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling,

the Boss read:

PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working
at

client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in

life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with
this

mail. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our
Office to discuss this. My respect and Best Regards to you!

Answer 3

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! What are you doing?"

The monkey says, "smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they share a few puffs.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing the joint.


The Crocodile looks up and says "Hey!"



The Monkey looks down and says....

"Fuuuuuuuuck..... Duuuuuuude.....how much water did you drink?!!"

Answer 4

Ok I just read a hilrious joke. Are you ready?
Two guys are drinking at a bar. The first says "Do you ever start thinking about something, and when you go to talk, you say something you don't mean?" The Second guy says "Yeah, I was at the airport buying plane tickets, and the chick behind the counter had these huge t1ts, and instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh' I asked for 'two tickets to Titsburgh' The First guy says, "Yeah, well I was having breakfast with my wife last week, and instead of saying 'Honey can you please pass me the sugar?', I said 'You've ruined my life you FUCK1NG *****'

Answer 5

What're you talking about? I've already made YOU laugh. I walked right behind you and tickled you silly and you nearly died laughing. You just didn't see me do it. You thought you were going nuts. So where's my ten points?

Oh, and the voices you thought you kept hearing in your head? That was all me. I like whispering in peoples ears so they think they're nuts and all. Sorry for all the years of therapy for no purpose I cost you. I promise I'll pay you back.

Answer 6

--First I'd have to ask you a question.

(Psst, buddy she might be married... Wanna buy a wristwatch?)

--But she's going to be the one giving ME the time of day...

(Are you sure, budget prices, real cheap?)

--Beat it, a late watch isn't a date watch.

Another voice: "wedding balloons, real cheap"

--What are you doing, that isn't a part of the plan. I told you...

"Give me a break, give me a break..."

--Have you forgotten the lines already...

"You're just making this up, aren't you. I don't even know you..."

--But once upon a time I had a dream

"I'd better get the balloons"

--You mean you didn't bring them?

Figure vanishes in the moonlight.

Answer 7

Questions, answers….all day long!!
We have no life so we play along.

We answer the stupid, we answer the smart,
We answer question after question. How did this all start?

How did we become so addicted? We’re did we go wrong?
Now our houses stay dirty…we stopped mowing the lawn!!

We can’t sleep at night, we can’t concentrate at work
We live to answer questions to people who act like jerks

We stare at our computers till we go nearly blind
But as long as we can give answers…we don’t really mind

Answer 8

Two kids are in Sunday School. A girl who keeps falling asleep sits next to a boy with his pen out.
The teacher asks, "Who created heaven and earth?" The boy pokes the girl in the side with his pen.
"God almighty!" yells the girl.
"Very good!" says the teacher. The girl starts to snooze off again.
The teacher asks, "Who died for our sins?" The boy pokes her with his pen again.
"Jesus Christ!" yelled the girl.
"Very good." The girl goes off to sleep again.
The teacher asks, "What did Eve say to Adam after having their 26th kid?" The boy pokes her with the pen again.
The girl yells, "If you put that thing into me one more time, I swear I'll break it in half!"
The teacher fainted.

And Read This:
http://www.slickschoppers.com/Readers_Stories/Crazed_Squirrel.htm

that oughtta getcha laughin'.

Answer 9

The Englishman's golfer wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

"My Gosh, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded.

"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."

The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies.

"For Heaven’s sake, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?"

She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me."

He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

"Wah, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?"

She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any."

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the love 'o decorum, 'n the sake of decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."

Answer 10

Make me laugh and get 10 points?
You make me laugh at you, and I get 2 points!