PLEASE NOW - what do I do about my best friend?

Question

who is bipolar??? HOW CAN I HELP HIM? He's in trouble -- he's 36 years old. I don't have a car at the moment and don't have an address where he is. He is in distress -- got an email from him. He's not on medication -- I'm scared to death!! Before he was MAD at me for even discussing bipolar/meds and now - I wasn't home to answer his call and he's a mess. How in the hell do I help him? He's so awesome --- I just wish HE KNEW THIS ABOUT HIMSELF.

This is just a good friend - almost a family member. He lives w/bro and parents right now, his wife left him with his child as it is. Parents probably want him back w/her. VERY LONG STORY but we've been close friends for a LONG time. His family and I are NOT close. I can't talk to them.

All I can say is I'm scared and I left a message on his cell that I was going to call his family tomorrow so that they are aware and I didn't care if he was pissed off because he needs to be there for this wonderful 3 year old son he has and if he hates me for that, so be it.

Answer 1

Your friend sounds like someone very special. I wish I could have the opportunity to meet him. You to are a special friend with your concern and wish to help him through.

The best advice is that if you feel he is a danger to himself or someone else, you MUST get help to him immediately. Call 911 where he lives and explain the circumstances. You said that you don't have an address. I know you have his phone number. You said so in a previous question about him. Give the phone number to the 911 operator. The police can get his address from that. Even a cell phone has to have his home address for billing and they can track most cell phones these days. It is urgent that you do this. For his sake. A dead friend is no friend. A friend that risks a relationship to help is the best friend. Will he be your dead friend or will you be his best friend?

Sincerely,
Terry

Answer 2

If he did not give you his address, he apparently does not want your help. What makes you feel that he is so awesome that you need to involve yourself in a matter that only he and his doctor or therapist can work on for sure? You could call a member of his immediate family and express your concerns to that person if you are truly concerned. Other than that , there seems to be little else you can do under the current circumstances.

Answer 3

You are too involved in this situation. You are trying to FIX a problem that is out of your control. There is an organization called NAAMI that you can find online. There will be a chapter close to you, hopefully. The acronym is North American Alliance for the Mentally Ill. The organization is a support group for people, like you, who have friends/family with disorders that are causing stress in their lives. They can help you. Until then, you need to calm down. Stressing yourself will not help your friend. You need to be alert. Good Luck !

Answer 4

What a scary situation and I'm sorry that you have to go through it. Keep trying to contact him, talk to him, be there for him. Get a location if you can and if you feel there is an immediate danger to himself or others, contact the police department and ask them for a welfare check.

However, law enforcement and the medical community can only do so much to help. If he is truly dangerous, they can have him held in a facility for a max of 72 hours, in most states, but they cannot force him to stay or force treatment upon him.

There exists the ability to "force" meds upon a subject once he/she has been incarcerated but that's really iffy ground and must be fought for in the court system.


My family and I fought the system for years trying to help my Aunt through an ever worsening situation. She would be committed, given meds, released, stop meds, get violent, be arrested and the cycle would begin again. One day, she reached a low that we couldn't pull her out of and she disappeared. She was found dead a few days later. We failed and the system failed and it sucks royally. Still does but we were reminded that she had rights and to force her into a facility, into treatment she didn't want violated those rights. Sad, but true.

His family can try to petition the court to take custody of him and remand him to a facility under court supervision but that's tough to do.

Be his friend. Get his family involved. Don't give up.

Good luck

Answer 5

Maybe if it is that bad, he should be seeing a psychoanalists regularly? was he diagnosed with bipolar?


You just got to be there basically. It is hard to deal with, living with and living with someone with it.

Bi polar is not as uncommon as it was because a lot more people are being diagnosed with it. It is hard to say if someone is bipolar or not, even if they have the clean cut symtpoms or personality traits that fit it.

perhaps get him to talk to a professional atleast 3 times a week and that will be able to be on call whenever he needs it. YOU shouldnt be the one who does that stuff, because your not a professionally equipped to deal with this sort of stuff.


Or if he is manic or what not..perhaps you should have him temp. committed somewhere ...


Talk to your parents about it or another close friend.

Answer 6

Honey, you will drive yourself crazy trying to help a bi-polar individual unless you are a therapist. AND....it's so common for them to get off of their meds; almost like they refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem. If I don't take the meds, I'm OK...and that's a good way to be locked up. Usually, bi-polars have another diagnosis with their main problem. You cannot help anyone who doesn't want to help himself. Yes, he's an awesome person .... at times. Give him a few days and he'll be back blaming you or anyone else for his problems. This is a disease, dear. He needs professional help. The most you can do is listen, if you're up to it. Most of the time it comes down to driving yourself crazy trying to help them, or just coast along and put yourself first. I suggest you put yourself first. If this is getting to you, back off and do what's best for you. In the long run, it won't make a difference to this bi-polar friend. He is only concerned for himself. This is a selfish disease and he can't help it. God Bless You.

Answer 7

I don't have a reliable and legit source for my advice for your friend - just a theory. I have been hypoglycemic since birth, until 2002, when (I think due to a feminine hormone shot) I switched to diabetes.

If my theory is correct, hypoglycemics have more sugar available to their brains - giving the brains more fuel. This may relate to the manic phase (the high).

When the brain realizes it is getting too much sugar, it asks for more insulin production, which can overproduce, and pull too much sugar out of the bloodstream, resulting in too little sugar to the brain (also weight gain), possibly initiating the low of the bipolar.

If your friend is willing to get tested for high insulin, he may want to test my possibly wacky theory out.

If you want basic information on low blood sugar, check out www.hufa.org. Your fears and anxiety for him may trigger a low blood sugar situation in you.

Best wishes for both of you.

Answer 8

First of all--calm down. You will be no help to him if you are sounding crazy. I know someone who is bipolar. You can talk to him, let him know you are their for him, and give him all the information you can find on the subject. But at his age he has to be the one to say--I need help.

Answer 9

what i know is bipolar disease is a mental disease... u're friend's condition can be controlled by medications unders a psychiatrist's supervision... & i think that alot of support (from u for eg as a friend) will help him through .... support to get him to comply with the medication...... cuz i believe that complying with the medcation can give him a good life....

Answer 10

Most hospitals have a psychiatrist on staff. If there is no mental health agency near him, he can be evaluated through the ER.