i always seem to be the one that puts all the effort into resolving the situation and she never does. she never wants to talk about it until like a week later were i want to talk about it then and now and resolve it as soon as possible. what do i do?
after it is resolved she says she's sorry and that she loves me and that it was her falt?
2006-07-27 15:23:03 · 24 answers · asked by erick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
did i metion she refuses to talk to me? at all.
2006-07-27 15:28:18 · update #1
now im confused! well ur a really good boyfriend! but im sorry 2 say but u deserve better! not just 1 person can resolve it there 2 ppl in a realtionship! not just 1 ! obviously u really like this gurl and u dont want 2 lose her and thats why ur trying so hard but just remeber wutevers suppose 2 happen wil happen!mayb she just dosent feel the same about u just talk 2 her communication helps! mayb it just wasnt ment 2 b !
well ur a really great guy though theres not much guyz that care about a gurl that much like u do!
thats so sweet!
2006-07-27 15:30:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK. That's all about the reaction to what happend and nothing about the underlying issues that need resolution. It takes two of you to get into an argument in the first place. This possibly means that one person says something unkind; the other feels undervalued, then angry, and then retaliates. The "offended" party needs to respond, not react, and not blame. They must express things with "I feel" and not "you did" or "you made me xxx." How about "I feel uncared for when you raise your voice at me" or "I feel I don't have any value when I leave a message and don't get a call back"
Focus on the cause and not how poor your conflict resolution skills are. One big thing is to identify THE ISSUE and not get sidetracked into too much discussion about the fallout afterward, the broken lamps, the raised voices. Limit the discussion to 10 minutes max and stop the second one person loses control.
The other thing to look at is why you have a need that she doesn't. Are your feelings hurt and you're demanding an apology, that your resolution isn't about peace but about your needing to feel better about it.
2006-07-27 22:30:27 · answer #2 · answered by Tony T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly, you two are incomatible on this very important relationship issue of how to resolve conflict. There will always be tiffs and spats in a relationship but it's how you handle it that will determine if there is a successful future ahead of you. I'd say, based on what you've said, that you two are not good for each other. Get out of the relationship now before you are in too deep and the both of you spend a miserable future together.
2006-07-27 22:27:37 · answer #3 · answered by CleverGal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol I'm sorry... I don't know why.. but I do that to my husband. If we fight and whether I am right or wrong I will give him the cold shoulder till he apologizes. One of the reasons why is... my past relationships... i was the one to bend over backwords to get the person to forgive me for something i did and didn't do... i know that is a stupid reason to do it.. but i am working on it... another reason is I am real emotional and will cry at the drop of a hat... so when i start to explain or to go yell at him i start crying so bad and i feel like such a fool so i would just rather walk away go think about it and come back later and resolve it... sorry don't know if i helped or not.. but just find out why... is she emotional? past relationships bad? or does she just not care?
2006-07-27 22:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by sleepyincarolina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a relationship..although I don't know from experience..but i know from those around from me. you should not be the one who should always resolve a problem. You need to know your limits and sometimes, everything can't be solved based on only your efforts. If she insist on not helping you resolve problems, then maybe it's time you let her know that this whole relationship just isn't going the way you want it to..good luck!
2006-07-27 22:27:13 · answer #5 · answered by lifesw33tmyst3ry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to flip the script and next time there is an argument just shut down and go about life like you don't care. Some women create discord just to have the make up happen. It asures them that you love them. So when she gets bored she'll create some drama that you will work yo *** off to fix and she'll say " I'm sorry I suck". That's life. It could be worse. She could be cheating on you.
2006-07-27 22:26:55 · answer #6 · answered by A man ready to commit. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like everything is back to front. usually its the guys that take long to overcome an argument. need to be more open in the relationship and what is causing all the argument. saying you love someone doesn't resolve the issue. its still there.
2006-07-27 22:28:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds immature and sounds like she has a problem communicating. I dont know what to tell you except dont let her get away with ignoring the situation. Get it resolved right away and maybe in the future she will learn better communication skills.
2006-07-27 22:27:13 · answer #8 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She never wants to talk about it nor to take a turn at resolving it? Sounds like the typical selfish gf.
2006-07-27 22:27:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just can't deal with their emotions as soon as you can. I think that after an argument she just needs time to sort things out before she can resolve the issue with you. Just let her have her time to think things through, don't push her or you;ll have another argument to deal with.
2006-07-27 22:27:08 · answer #10 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋