ok, this one is a doozy!
I have a dear friend who lived with a woman for about 2 years. they had a baby together. then she moved out after months of hellatious fights and violence on her behalf. there are other children involved. she has a son 9 years old. he has a daughter 12 years old. these children had to live through this mess too. the ex has outright accused him of sleeping with his daughter, which is completely unfounded!
now she wants him to pay child support and have no contact with the baby. PLUS she's pregnant again!
she's put him in the hospital twice already with anxiety attacks and pectoral angina. his health can't suffer her constant harrassment for money. he's already had to get a restraining order against this woman!
he's planning to relinquish rights to the second baby. I think he should relinquish rights to both since she doesn't want to let him be a part of his sons' lives. why should he have to pay out the nose for children he'll never get to see?
2006-07-27 14:57:49 · 16 answers · asked by ladrhiana 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
this is not MY situation! don't attack me! i'm asking this question in proxy for my friend. i'm asking for sincere, thought out answers. anybody that "plays for points" or "trolls" here will be reported!
2006-07-27 14:58:06 · update #1
Wow. I dont know. Stay by his side. When time gets tough, be there.
2006-07-27 15:00:46 · answer #1 · answered by Dani 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay first of all, you don't know for SURE that the fights were from "abuse on her behalf". It takes two to fight, and if he wasn't fighting back at all it would've gotten PRETTY boring and she probably would've stopped all of her "abuse".
Second of all, you don't know if he has slept with his daughter or not so let's not assume you know whether he has or not.
Third of all, he has put HIMSELF in the hospital by ENABLING this woman to damage him the way she has. He is in charge of his OWN mental state. If he wants to play "poor me" then he can (he obviously has been for a while), but he's a dad and he needs to grow up - it's past time.
If he is going to relinquish rights and she's so "abusive" then he obviously doesn't care about the child. That's really sad. He should've been a little smarter and not gotten her pregnant. He did it not only once, but twice. That's pure stupidity.
Why would you think he should relinquish rights to both kids if this mother is so abusive? You obviously aren't a parent and if you are, you couldn't possibly be a good one.. wanting a "good person" (as you describe him) to give up rights to a baby to a woman who is "abusive".
Sad, sad, sad!
2006-07-27 22:49:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sadie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless her accusations of him sleeping with the daughter have been made to the authorities and he is in legal trouble from them......Blow them off, he has other things to worry about.
As for the child support and visitation.
It took both of them to make this baby and he should pay his financial responsibilities to the child. It isn't the childs fault that the parents are in this mess and he/she should not be penalized for it.
If she refuses to let him see the child then he needs to file a custody order for the child and either sue for conservatorship of the child so it can live with him or file for joint custody so she has to let him have visitation and if she doesn't then he can take her back to court for contempt of a court order.
And he should NEVER relinquish his rights to either child because they are HIS children just as much as they are hers. And he will only be hurting the children if he does this. Just think how those poor kids will feel later on in life when told that their father did not want them or that they weren't worth him fighting for. That would cause mental damage to the children and I'm sure he would not want that.
Alot of children turn into delinquents or worse because they feel that they were not good enough for their fathers to want them.
Is that what yall want? I really don't think so.
2006-07-27 22:46:06 · answer #3 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i believe is that he should fight for the rights of both his babies. He isn't a bad parent [hes hasn't done anything wrong in the last 12years] so he should fight for his rights instead of giving them up. If he can't get rights that when he should relinquish his rights. He could have controlled rights with his children such as picking up and dropping off his kids at the police station so he doesn't have to see this woman. Think about what the already born baby is going to go through without its father. He may be little but he is old enough to miss him
2006-07-27 22:03:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to hire an excellent attorney. He also needs to do what is right for his children; and relinquishing his rights to his own baby is ridiculous. There is no reason why he should lose custody of his children. And even if for some bizarre reason he wasn't allowed to ever see them again (extremely doubtful), he should pay child support so they at least know they have a father out there who cares about them.
2006-07-27 22:04:03 · answer #5 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would never consider attacking you, wouldn't serve any purpose. For dudes sake though: Cut the cables, run far and run fast!! As far as the children, he should have picked a better woman to procreate with (poor gump). Now, nothing but time and a lot of child support is going to fix this problem.
2006-07-27 22:05:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if he does not want to take part in being a father to his children he still needs to pay child support. If you decide to have sex and it creates a child it is your child for the rest of your life....even if you don't want it, or your not able to see the children due to circumstance. I'm sure a judge will allow him to see his children periodically if he wants to see them. He needs to stand up and take responsibility.....it's the right thing to do....and it's the law.
2006-07-27 22:01:40 · answer #7 · answered by ctaylor66062 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he totally removes his children from his life he may regret it later . regardless to if he sees them or not any court would force him to support his kids. he is better off requesting visitation with the kids . in the long run a child needs both mommy and daddy . he needs to be a part of their lives and get to know them
what if something happens to their mom ? him not having a relationship with them or being there the courts may look at him as being scum and placing the kids in foster care .
tell him to look at the BIG picture . does he want his kids to feel rejected or to know he was there for them as much as he could be .
2006-07-27 22:54:50 · answer #8 · answered by mick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should file a restraining order against her, pay his child support, and demand visitation (Or custody, if need be). As long as he pays, no judge will deny him the chance to be in their lives.
2006-07-27 22:02:46 · answer #9 · answered by taishar68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend needs an attorney who specializes in child support cases. he may also want to consider contacting your local social service agencies.
2006-07-27 22:05:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he should totally stop paying childcare because he obviosly cant see the baby and he should getrights to the baby thats in the way
2006-07-27 22:01:25 · answer #11 · answered by ♥OHIO*HONEY♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋