What is the dirtiest,make you red in the face, can't ever tell your mother, joke you've ever heard?

Answer 1

A woman goes to Wal-Mart and buys a pair of pants without trying them on. After getting home she puts them on and they do not fit. So, back to Wal-Mart she goes.

She gets up to the return counter to return them (with receipt in hand). She says, "I would like to return these pants please. There is nothing wrong with them, they just simply do not fit. I would like my money back please."

The lady behind the counter scans them then states to the customer, "I am sorry. I can not refund your money. These were on clearnace and we can't refund money on clearance items."

The customer then throws her arms up in the air and screams, "Pinch my nipples..... Pinch my nipples....!"

The CMS states, "Lady, what are you doing. Please stop screaming that. Other customers can hear you!"

Again the customer states that she would like a refund and the CMS repeats herself again, "I am sorry. I can not refund your money. These were on clearnace and we can't refund money on clearance items."

Again, the customer throws her arms up in the air and screams, "Pinch my nipples..... Pinch my nipples....!"

Just then the CSM's boss comes out because he has heard all of the commotion. He asks what the problem is. The customer once again states, " I would like to return these pants please. There is nothing wrong with them, they just simply do not fit. I would like my money back please."

He tells her that this is not a problem and takes the pants from her. He scans them and realizes they are a clearance item. Knowing the stores refund policy on clearance items, he states to the customer, "I am sorry. I can not refund your money. These were on clearnace and we can't refund money on clearance items."

Again, the customer throws her arms up in the air and screams, "Pinch my nipples..... Pinch my nipples....!"

The man then asks the lady why she is doing this and making such a scene over this. The customer then states.............."Because I like my nipples pinched when I'm getting screwed!"

Answer 2

Theres a wife and a man giant
a human climbs a bean stock that
leads to their house the husbands at work so the man sneaks in and the woman catches him
she picks him up and starts swinging him
he asks her to let him go and she say ill do it if you tell/do something to me that my husband will never do the man says ok your pretty trying to hold back the laughs then he climbs inside her pussy and starts licking the husband comes home and sees his wife his wife says shes not feeling good and that shes not in the mood. he asks her whats going and she says nothing and they start ******* the human is still in the giants pussy and is getting hit in the head with the giant mans dick. then the giant leaves cuz his lunch break is over and the human climbs out of the womans pussy she says y did u stop he said cuz someone was ear ******* me

Answer 3

Okay. Promise not to tell?

Dirty joke: Little Johnny played in the mud.
Clean joke: Little Johnny took a bath.
Very dirty joke: Little Johnny took a bath with Mr. Bubbles.

teehee.

Answer 4

None. I told my family this one.

A woman goes to a gynecologist for the first time in her life. The doctor walks in and asks her to lay back and spread her legs.
The woman does, but begins to shake.
"What's the matter" asks the Gynecologist
The woman replies "Well I'm kind of nervous. See this is my first time."
"Perfectly normal" replies the doctor. "Would you like me to numb you down there?"
"Um, sure" says the woman.
So the doctor spreads her legs, puts his face right in the middle and goes "numb, numb, numb, numb"

If it wasn't funny, I'm sorry.

Answer 5

I always forgot to zip my fly when I was in grade school and without wearing any underwear

Answer 6

why dont witches wear panties?
to get a better grip on the broom
lol not that bad but kinad funny lol

Answer 7

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can?
i dead baby in 10 trash cans.

whats worse than a pile of dead babies?
theres a live one at the bottom.
whats worse than that?
he's eating his way to the top.

Answer 8

A blonde retains strolling down her force to her mail container. She retains doing this till her neighbor asks her why she is doing that. The blonde replies "My pc retains telling me that i've got have been given mail". ----------------------------------------... An eighty year previous couple have been having issues remembering issues, so as that they desperate to bypass to their well-known practitioner to get appeared at to be sure no longer something exchange into incorrect with them. whilst they arrived on the medical doctors, they defined to the well-known practitioner on the subject of the themes they have been having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the well-known practitioner informed them that they've been bodily ok yet could desire to commence writing issues down and make notes to assist them keep in mind issues. The couple thanked the well-known practitioner and left. Later that evening whilst gazing television, the guy have been given up from his chair and his spouse asked, "the place are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "particular." She then asked him, "do no longer you think of you need to write it down so which you would be able to keep in mind it?" He mentioned, "No, i will keep in mind that." She then mentioned, "nicely i could additionally like some strawberries on top. You had extra effectual write that down with the aid of fact i be responsive to you will forget approximately that." He mentioned, "i will keep in mind that, you desire a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "nicely I additionally could like whipped cream on top. i be responsive to you will forget approximately that so which you extra effectual write it down." With inflammation in his voice, he mentioned, "i do no longer could desire to place in writing that down! i will keep in mind that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After approximately 20 minutes he lower back from the kitchen and handed her a plate of writer 1st baron verulam and eggs. She stared on the plate for a 2d and mentioned angrily: "I informed you to place in writing it down! You forgot my toast!" ----------------------------------------... The affected person says, "supply me the undesirable information first!" well-known practitioner replies, "you have have been given AIDS." "Oh, no! What ought to be worse than that?" asks the affected person. "you have even have been given Alzheimer's ailment." finding relieved the affected person says, "Oh...nicely, it is not so undesirable. a minimum of i don't have AIDS."