any one know any good practical phone jokes??

Question

eg - i told someone today they needed to urgently contact Mr C Lyon and gave them the number for the zoo
immature i know - but funny as hell!!

Answer 1

There's always that stupid old one where you pretend to be doing a survey for hotpoint or whatever and ask em if their refrigirator is running and when they say yes you tell them that they better go catch it then.

Answer 2

Years ago, my two boys, then 12 and 13, were bored. They made several random calls, when finally reaching an elderly gentleman. He did not hang up on them, but seem to genuinely fall for their scam. They addressed the man,(with all fictional information, of course) as to who they were, who they represented and would he kindly be willing to answer a few short questions. He agreed and answered all their questions promptly and honestly. The gentleman didn't seem to have any difficulty or hesitation, in answering any of their questions. After about a dozen questions, in a seemingly professional manner, and before saying good-by, my son thanked the man, in the name of research and on behalf of The National Masturbation Institute.

Answer 3

Truman - Fendahlene are still going. They have a new album out called "A Decade of Near Misses", which has their best songs from the last 10 years plus 9 new tracks. It is available for free download at www.fendahlene.com

Answer 4

I don't know any for calling people, but I have a solution for sales calls:

1.If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

2.Say "no" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

3.If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

4.If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout..."

5.If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

6.Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

7.Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.

8.Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

9.Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

10.When the salesperson asks, "Is this the homeowner?" say, "Is this the salesperson?" And when they say, "Yes," hang up.

Answer 5

you need two people with three way calling and you both click over to the other line and you call someone you know and the other person calls a food delivery place ( Chinese is the best) then you both click back over a the same time and hopefully if you did it right both places answer at the same time and fight about who called who.....do not forget to block your numbers by hitting *67 first!

Answer 6

as a teen me and my brother and a few of our cousins were at our grandparents house alone and decided to make some prank calls...... well we made a few and just dialed odd #### and came up on an answering machine, it was close to halloween, and this answering machine was talking of goblins and such, well of course we had to leave a message...2 days later grams comes home from her 2nd shift job and wants to know who made the prank calls we all denied it and she continued with a copy of the tape , the guy we called was her co-worker and had seen her name on the caller i.d and came to let her hear it....we were in so much trouble....she was totally humiliated

Answer 7

i always answer the phone with things like "Metropolitain Museum of Art" real official sounding or something similar. totally stops someone in their tracks as there brain falters in total confusion. I then count thwe seconds until they figure out what to say.

Answer 8

If there is somebody you can not stand at work,put some Epsom Salts in their tea/coffee,sit back and watch the fun.

Answer 9

Here's one: Hello. This is the police. We no know what you did at that place on that one day. (let the person fill in the blanks).

Answer 10

hi i'm sarah from baskin robbins and if you guess all the flavors in the store right now you an win 100,000 dollars!!!