How many showers is too many?

Question

I am getting married this fall. We had an engagement party shortly after the engagement this past spring. A friend of the brides family is throwing us a shower in a couple of weeks. I found out tonight my Aunt is throwing us another shower later this fall. Another friend of the bridal party is throwing a bridal shower (for girls only). Then the brides aunts are getting together to throw a bridal luncheon (all girls again) a week before the wedding, which people bring gifts too as well. One of my friends from high school is throwing us a stock the bar party which will be very low key where people bring alcohol of some sort or bar ware. So in case you lost count, thats one engagement party, two couples showers, one bridal shower, a bridal luncheon, and a stock the bar party, not to mention the bachelor and bachelorette parties. Is this too much. I feel like it is considering we are inviting the same people over & over. My mom and fiancee keep telling me that it's not a big deal.

Answer 1

Since you are inviting the same people to all or most of them, I would say expecting gifts is alittle to much.

A really good thing that you could do for those who are less fortunate then you would be to ask your guests to make donations to different charities instead of bringing gifts.
Or instead of gifts make a money tree and put it on the table with the invitations telling everyone that all donations will be going to a charity of your choice.

Answer 2

If you are inviting the same people to all these parties and gifts are expected,,,,,than it does seem a bit excessive. I f it a differnent crowd or different side of the family, than it is fine. The luncheon for the girls and the stock the bar party is cool, I don't think that is the issue. However, if the same people are coming to the engagement party, the 2 couples showers and the bridal shower, as well as the wedding....than that is a bit extreme and you are asking way too much of these people.

Answer 3

Yes, that is WAY too many events, especially if you are inviting the same people over and over.

However, please note that engagement parties, bridal luncheons, and bach parties are not actually gift-giving occasions. But even so, that number of pre-wedding parties is pretty atrocious. Your wedding is not the center of all these peoples' lives-- give them a break and free up some of their weekends!

Furthermore, it is against etiquette for family members to be throwing showers for you. It should be a friend volunteering to throw one.

In fact, I'm of the opinion that showers are not appropriate for most couples in the USA anyways, because they've often lived on their own already and have a household full of stuff.

Showers are more appropriate for situations when the couple is first starting out and still live with their own parents. Giving shower gifts to someone who already has been managing a household (whether together or separately) for years is kind of silly.

You can say "No thank you" when someone offers to throw you a shower, you know.

Answer 4

First, don't worry about it. The people being invited are told what to bring, i.e. stock the bar. You can get a nice bottle of wine for $25 and under. Then as far as the other parties, the ladies only parties will have gifts that are better not being given with couples present, i.e. teddies, etc. People also have the option of opting out on one of these parties. I realize you feel like there are too many parties, but some women only get one party and feel very let down.

Answer 5

Well lets clear the air that You are not having too much parties. Other well meaning people are having them for you. You can't really say no to a person offering to host a party in your honor. I would imagine that some of the parties are being thrown by his side and your side. So not all the same people will be there. Second in they don't want to come to the party they can send their regrets. Just go with the flow. Enjoy the ride it is the best time! Congrats to the Happy Couple.

Answer 6

The stress of having so many showers is going to grate on you. So many thank-yous to write and it's not even the wedding!

Talk to everyone about consolidating the parties into a few. My sister-in-law had four, and in my opinion that's three too many.

The average number is between one and two personal bridal showers. Any more then that and it gets somewhat pompous, even if you had nothing to do with the planning.

Answer 7

What in the world are you thinking? There needs to be a line drawn - all your friends and family will be tapped out financially before the wedding, let alone be sick of being around each other. Unfortunately, I think people will think you are just grabbing for gifts, and that's a shame. Happy Wedding!

Answer 8

You are having way too many parties! If the same people are coming to all of them you need to forget about the ones you haven't had yet. This might require you to hurt someones feelings but thats what needs to be done.

Answer 9

Try to have different people at each event. You can announce to your friends and associates the number of showers that are being given and by whom and they can decide which one they want to go to; otherwise they might feel obligated to try and bring a gift for each event which is a bit excessive.

Answer 10

Hehehehehe....you sound awfully popular! Unless you will find this all too tiring, I would just go along with it. It doesn't sound like you asked for any of it, so if that's what folks want to do, just let them go ahead. It is up to folks who are being invited over and over again to decline....as they probably will because no one will have money to be spending/bringing you gifts for all of those parties.