I was seeing this guy for about 3mts now. I had just found out from his cousin. That he has not one but 3 kids and the youngest was brought into world last month.I feel so weird about hanging out with him.I don't know what to say are do when I see him again. I don't want to ignore him because it will bug me. Damn I'm so pissed this is the second time this has happen to me this is why I'm saying what should I do are say? I so bad want to F*&%$ up him and his ride just for lying to me. But before I do that I want to hear some advise either way i'll probably do it anyways!!!
2006-07-27 13:49:30 · 7 answers · asked by shelby_beelynn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just to say he does not know that I know about him. I also assume that he still has a wife or girlfriend. how should I leak it out to him?
2006-07-27 14:05:48 · update #1
Ask yourself this question. Is your ideal mate a man who lies to you? If yes, stay with him. If no, find a real man who meets your standards of an ideal mate.
Too often, we put up with unacceptable (and sometimes atrocious) behavior because we are comfortable in our relationships or we are insecure and don't think that we can do better. If we look at all the positive and negative qualities about our partners and used those qualities in the phrase: My ideal mate is a man/woman who _______. We might come up with some wonderful positive qualities but we might come up with some ridiculous negative qualities such as:
My ideal mate is a man/woman who lies to me constantly.
My ideal mate is a man/woman who cheats on me.
My ideal mate is a man/woman who abuses me (sexually, physically, emotionally, verbally)
My ideal mate is a man/woman who has no time for me.
My ideal mate is a man/woman who constantly criticizes me.
My ideal mate is a man/woman who does not respect me.
My ideal mate is a man/woman who cannot hold a job.
My ideal mate is a man/woman who shows absolutely no affection or concern to me.
Look around. How many people do you know putting up with partners possessing those negative qualities? Who in their right mind can claim that their ideal mate would possess such qualities.
If your Negative Quality list sounds ridiculous when you read it in that context - it is ridiculous and you are not with your ideal mate. Time to get out of the relationship.
Good luck and I wish you all the best!
2006-07-30 21:34:25 · answer #1 · answered by mgctouch 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all 3 months is very short time to know a person and their entire life story...keep in mind many people don't tell the person they just started dating about their kids because they are worried that the other person won't like him or her bcause they have children.
But now that you already know, he has kids, why don't you tell him...talk to him about it. By this I mean while you are hanging out together, tell him that his cousin told you something, and it upsets you that you didn't hear it from him first. When he asks what it is, tell him that he told you he has 3 kids...and that the youngest one was born a month ago. Ask him why he didn't tell you? Ask him if he is currently involved with the mother of his children? If he says yes, to being romantically involved or being in a real relationship with the mother of his children then I recommend that you stop dating him immediately. Furthermore, ask him if the mother of all his children is the same? If it is, then sorry sweety he is just a cheater....if not, then he is a leaver...but whatever the case is...you have to talk to him and be honest with him and tell him that you expect an honest answer from him.
In addition to this, note that if he does not keep in touch with the mother of his children, in a romantic way, then it may be a different thing to think about. By this I mean if the guy the only reason the guy ever talks to the mother of his children is because of the children then, you shouldn't break it up with him. As for the youngest baby born a month ago, it could be that they were in a relationship for a while and he broke up with her and when that happend she didn't know she was pregnant and so maybe they still aren't in a romantic relationship but keep contact due to the baby. If on the other hand, he broke up with her because she was pregnant or whatever than maybe, he isn't worth your time. Whatever the case is...the only way you will truly find out what the truth is ...is by asking him. So once you talk to him, analyze the situation and see if it is soemthing you can deal with or not...and then make a decision to stay with him or leave.
2006-07-27 21:03:35 · answer #2 · answered by Strawberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U could tell him that u find out something. That I would like to know if it is true or not. He told me that u just had other baby about a month go and he said that u have 3 kids not not just one that u told me. I don't know if I should believe him or not. If this relationship is going to work u need to tell me the truth. I am not going to get really mad at u for not telling me that u have 3 kids. And I would like to know why u didn't tell me it in the first place. If u think that I wouldn't go out with u if u had 3 kids u. U didn't give me any credit. I really don't want to lose u but if u are going to lie to me then we shouldn't be together any more. I don't want to do that but if I have to I would. I hope that this will help u out.
2006-07-27 21:06:54 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well was he still with the mother of his children when the youngest came (u weren't clear about that) if he was then
f*&%$ up him and his ride as u wish then dump him BUT if he wasn't he propably lied to you coz. he was afraid u would leave him then u must ask urself if u really loved him & if u can complete with a guy who has 3 kids if the answer is yes then talk it over with him try to work it out if the answer is no then just leave him
P.S.all this goes if he loves u & if u guys were serious
2006-07-27 21:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is the tip of the iceberg, just imagine how many more lies are to be discovered. Ask him why he lied, am sure he will have a very good answer, but if you were me, you will be wondering what else he is lying about, the whole time you are with him.
So, leave him now, before you are hooked or stuck.
2006-07-27 20:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by Mx2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would really suggest to not screw with his possesions but thats your choice, just not worth getting in trouble legally. The other thing is obviously he doesn't care about you. If I cared about somebody even if its the first date, I tell them right away that I have one kid. What he did is just wrong. You are better off just leaving him and letting him deal with that because you already know now that he isn't gonna be a good dad if he has 3 kids he doesn't see let alone a good companion. Leave his A$$!
I just wanna add something, I hear so much about girls being in this situation, please, please do yourselves a favor and find somebody worth your time and with respect for you and themselves. You deserve and guys out there like me that look for girls to treat right and respect. Thanks had to add that.
2006-07-27 20:58:55 · answer #6 · answered by D-man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you do not like it when he lies to u like that and if the relationship is going to work out you both need to be honest with each other.
2006-07-27 20:54:50 · answer #7 · answered by ~ goth ~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋