Should I just stop trying to keep my house nice?

Question

I have 1 daughter,age 15;and 3 sons,ages 7,11,and 12.I try so hard to keep my house up as much as possible.But it is so difficult,because,frankly...they do not care.They are always trashing the home.I know a family with 3 kids who simply HAVE given up,and live in a pig-stye.Should I do that as well?
By the way,I have taught them better...:(
!

Answer 1

Don't give up. Of course it's not going to be easy, but do you really want to live in a pig-stye? Not only is it unhealthy for your children, but it is also a very bad habit that you will be teaching your children.Generally, being a messy person and growing up that way affects every little thing you do, ranging from hygene to job searches to relationships.

The right thing isn't always the easiest, but it's definitely worth it. The satisfaction of getting the house cleaned is also a major bonus.

I also think you should sincerely sit down with your children and explain to them how their lack of care for the cleanliness of the house is hurting you and gets you in a bad mood. You should designate "family clean up times" either weekly or bi-weekly where every single person has an assignment. For example: each has to clean their own room and then you can all collectively clean the kitchen, living room, etc. And you can promise them a reward to go out for ice cream or something after the job's done. This will initially get them to actually clean and then eventually dawn on the kids that if they don't just make a mess all the time then when "family clean up time" comes along, there won't be that much to do!

Best of luck! :)

Answer 2

I am in the same boat - but I am SO anal that I can't stop cleaning it!!! I have it BAD, I cannot go to sleep at night until all the dishes are washed and put away, all the laundry washed and put away, all the toys picked up, etc... Then 10 mins after the kids wake up BAM destruction all over again!! But I know that NO matter what I will not let my house go to crap - it is a pride issue for me, and in the back of my mind what if someone comes over that day - I would be so embarrassed so that keeps me cleaning! Don't let them win, you still have to live in the mess if you do! And at those ages it's time for chores which will help you - my 6 and 2 year old have chores already!

Answer 3

I am guessing that you are prolly not comfortable living in a pig-sty. They are cheaper an you do not have to worry about vacuuming....but the germs!...You could ask for some help and offer some rewards for it..might be a good way to get it started....help everyone to find their things if they were put back into a logical order...tell em Robert said so, so they can say Robert Who?...it is not an easy job to be Queen of the World...the hours are long and the pay is crappy...so delegate, delegate, dance to the music...I like to house clean to Bob Marley...course it would hardly be proper to be tokin an cleanin but ya know..there might be an analog...like this IS a party and the house will look so much better and I will be happier and when I am happier you guys( the kids) get some happy( in whatever form) too.....peace to ya sis.be well...make it fun ya?

Answer 4

Don't give up. The 15, 12, 11 year old know better especially if you have taught them to be neat. Take their privileges away from them. You are in control not them. I have 5 boys. 15, 12, 7, 5, 3 and they all know better. The three year old even walks around and sing the clean up song. Just be frank with them. If they leave their clothes lieing on the floor, collect them in a bag and lock them in the basement. When the start looking for those favorite pieces of clothing. Tell them you got rid of them, and when they start to clean up and appreciate things, they can get them back. You have to start from somewhere. Hope this help some. :)

Answer 5

well they should know to clean up after themsleves expecially in the areas shared by the family and have some sort of consequence if they,leave their things everywhere Even add in some chores for them to do, have them vacume the living room or do the dishes that stuff is a part of life and they need to learn that. It is your house and they are living in it and you can stress to them that when they have a house of their own they can do as they please but while under your roof it is going to be kept the way that you like it. As for their rooms, give a little in that area becasue that's their individual area. You dont want it out of control but it's not the end of the world if some things are on the floor or they don't bother to make their beds. No reson for you to have to live in a pigstye, good luck.

Answer 6

Sit all of them down together and explain how you feel. Give each of them some responsibilities around the house. 7 yrs old is a great age for drying dishes, sweeping the floor and putting things away. When they fail to take care of their responsibilities, you fail to give them privileges like watching TV, video games, talking on the phone, and playing outside. At this point, its probably too late to start spanking the 15 year old. Once weekly, give them an extra privilege like family outing to the movies or an extra hour of play time outside on the weekend if their room is clean. I will knuckle my kids up if I have to but its not always the solution.

Answer 7

We have 2 boys ages 10 and 11. They have daily chores. If they don't do their chores then they don't get to play or watch TV. We have never allowed them to play anywhere except their bedrooms or outside. They are not allowed to eat or drink in the living room (except on movie nights). Your children are more than capable of helping around the house. If they give you a hard time and don't do it then tell them either help with the rest of the house or you will start with their rooms and get rid of everything except a bed and clothes. Be prepared to follow up on that and as they start helping more then gradually give them their things back. We had to do that twice in 3 yrs. but they learn quick when it's their stuff that's in danger!

Answer 8

Don't give up. As horrible as it is my brother and I were so uncaring about things when we lived @ home with our mom.. She finally bought a brand new house (after years of renting) now she lives all by herself in a nice home and has still, given up. Her house is so messy when I go over there I clean. It's like if you learn to be lazy you won't ever unlearn it..
What you could do is go on strike. Tell all your kids that for the next 2 weeks you will not be cleaning anything, no dishes nothing. Than tell them what needs to be done and if they are lazy about doing it than they will see the consequences. Soon there will be no dishes to eat out of and they will have to do it.
hope it helps..

Answer 9

Well, I will tell you what I did and it worked pretty well. First, everything I picked up that was one of the kids went right into the trash. Next I did the same thing in their rooms. Last, I told them that if they didn't stop living like pigs, I was going to take their bedroom doors off the hinges and I was NOT going to wash their bath towels anymore.

It took a couple weeks but it worked.

Answer 10

Teens will be teens-they'll be pigs and honestly not give a care because they aren't the ones who are told to clean up. I know because I am a teen, but I try to keep the house clean. If I dont my parents get really mad and they make me clean up and I can't go anywhere unless the house is spotless.

I say you make the kids clean up and ban them from going anywhere. Tell them to make sure that the messes are gone or else there'll be no computer, friends, phone or anything.

Don't make your house look like pig stye. Thats how my aunt's house looks and my family rarely visits her house because it has hair and nasty crap growing in the bathroom and all of the rooms in the house. It's sick.