i gave birth to my son 9 years ago and his father has had no contact with me or the child since, he hasn't even seen my son. Recently my sons grandparents on his fathers side have been taking an interest in the child and have initiallized contact. However the my sons father has now phoned me demanding a dna test. I will be consulting a solicitor but can anyone tell me whether or not this man has any legal rights over my son or whether he would have any case for contact. please reply as i am sick with worry and haven't slept properly in days thinking about this. Thank you for your time.
2006-07-27 11:54:13 · 32 answers · asked by shauneen 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
the fathers name is not on the birth certificate for the simple fact that when i told him i was pregnant he shouted at me and then broke all contact except for a phone call when i was in hospital giving birth telling me that he wanted a dna test. I agreed to this test and told him to contact me with the details but i never heard from him again until now.
2006-07-27 12:22:10 · update #1
thank you all for your advice. i really appreciate you taking your time to help me. you are all very kind and this has helped me a lot. thank you.
2006-07-28 09:41:37 · update #2
if i was you get a solicitor , your son is old enough to make his own mind if he wants to see him good luck
2006-07-27 12:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by carolyn m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is the father and this is proven via a paternity test then he has the same parental rights that you have as his mother. If he wants contact with his son at that point you will need to have an arangement by the court stating exactly when he has visitation. Good news for you is that if you prove he is the father then you can then demand child support , not only from now until he is 18 but for the last 9 years that he has missed. Once you start pursuing the child support issue he may drop out of the picture all together again.
2006-07-27 14:32:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people gave you good legal advice but some are just based on what people see on t.v., he does have rights if he is the father, doesn't matter how long he was out of the kids life. In fact, I don't know what state you live in, but in California, unless his parental rights were terminated. It may take him a little longer if he isn't on the birth certificate, cause basically he'll have to wait until the DNA results come in. You really do need to consult an attorney.
2006-07-27 13:00:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately a parent's rights always remain unless they are taken away by the courts. After all these years, you could easily claim abandonment and have his parental rights taken away. Nine years is a long time to live without a father. However, please do not assume that he can come and pick up your child just because "he's the father". The law is on your side. Once this enters the court system, this man is going to have to under-go a series of evaluations with social workers, mediaters, and guardian adlitems before he's even allowed to see your son. On top of that, he is going to have to explain the nine year hiatus. I would watch the contact with the grandparents. That could be opening 'Pandora's Box'. They could be the ones provoking the father to take responsibility.
2006-07-27 12:42:58 · answer #4 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mother usually always have more rights than the father, especially if he has never seen the child over a 9 year period (asshole)..
anyway he can only have a dna test if u agree to one or the court orders one. if he is infact the father, i dont think he would have any chance in gaining custody seeing asthough he doesn't know him at all. i think he would need a damn good reason for notseeing him in 9 years to have any rights to see him. don't be worried i'm sure u have a more solid case than he ever will.
just remember though fathers do always have a responsibility to their childeren and in some cses have legal rights but in this case i hope everything works out for the best. i think u will be right.
2006-07-27 12:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since he isn't on the birth certificate he has no rights to your son. Ofcourse if you want to get a DNA test then go right ahead it may be a good thing if he is the father of your son then your x owes you 9 years worth of Child Support and then if he refuses to pay he can go to jail. So. it might work out in your favor. Not by him going to jail but by finally shelling out some money for the child he created with you.
As far as the grandparents are concerned. I would absolutely allow them to see their grandchild. Every child should know their grandparents. Grandparents can be soo very wonderful and add to the quality of your childs life.
My only question for these grandparents would be is why now all of a sudden would they be wanting to see him now? I would chew them out for not wanting to see their grandson after all these years and then let bygones be bygones.
Good Luck.
2006-07-27 12:28:07 · answer #6 · answered by krYpToNitEsMoM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The DNA test will tell whether or not he has to pay child support. As for contact, he has to go through the court system. You can make a case for abandonment, and if this guy is dangerous he will probably not get visitation rights. If he's not, he'll probably get some visitation, probably supervised. Talk to a lawyer. And if he is dangerous or you think he will try to take your son by force, get a restraining order.
2006-07-27 12:00:55 · answer #7 · answered by Crys H. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I am aware in the UK a father who is not married to the mother and whose name is not on the birth certificate has almost no rights over his child. The mother can give him permission to have custody but I think he is in the weak position here. This will be strengthened by the fact that he has not been on the scene for 9 years while you have raised your child. He will find it very difficult to force you to do give him rights you do not want him to have. It sounds like he is the sort to use intimidation against you, so just remember you are in the position of strength here, he must follow your lead, not vise versa! Your lawyer will give you more specific advice in this regard. Good Luck!
2006-07-27 23:43:23 · answer #8 · answered by IwishicoulddeleteYahooAnswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first question you should ask yourself is what would your son want???, if the man is the father let him have the DNA test at his expense. If he genuinely want a relationship with his son let him try, if you don't your son will put him on a pedestal and blame you in later years. It's you who has been there to clean up the sick and put him to bed at night. Legally the court can order you to give the father visitation rights, in practise this is very hard to enforce. but like I said you need to consider what is best for your son.
2006-07-27 12:39:21 · answer #9 · answered by elvis_liveonstage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, ive had trouble with my sons dad, although he sees him for 5 hours in one day every 2 months.
If you wernt married he has no parental responsibility which means you have alot more rights over your son than he does. Parental responsibility gives you the right to chose which school your son goes to and even move to a different country with out the permission of his father.
As his father hasnt been around and isnt even on the birth certificate he hasn't any rights atall. Its a difficult one, i imagine you just want him to vansih right now!
Don't worry about court, my ex got his solicitor on me, and she wouldnt take his case to court as he didnt have regualer contact with our son, also he was violent towards me and drank...even though id never reported this she refused to touch the case, im assuming as your ex hasnt had any contact whatso ever hes going to have to pay out a hell of alot if he wants to fight.
If the DNA test is positive and he does to you to court he wont be getting alot, as hes had no contact, if they allow him to have contact then it will definatly be on your terms and it will start out as as little as a hour or so a month, they cant force your son to like him, your son is at the age where he wil decide for himself...the court will also take this into consideration.
Please don't worry, no contact, no money, no name on birth certificate...your son is 9 years old, they are not going to be favouring the father atall
I'm 23 my son is almost 4, i have trouble with his dad in this way at least once a year...emmagraphics2003@yahoo.co.uk if you want to chat :)
2006-07-27 19:14:54 · answer #10 · answered by emma b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..this guy has no legal rights what so ever. In the eyes of the courts he is not recognized as his father. He'll have to get the child legitimatized, in which he failed to do.
If he wants a paternity test give him the test! Simple as that.. He'll have to pay back pay in child support, etc.
And I'm sure your son would love to have his father in his life. It's a blessing to have grandparents that are supportive and helpful as well.
In the end, it will only come back to hunt you..your relationship with your son. Allow your son to learn for himself what type of sperm donor he has.
2006-08-02 09:12:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋