i gave birth to my son 9 years ago and his father has had no contact with me or the child since, he hasn't even seen my son. Recently my sons grandparents on his fathers side have been taking an interest in the child and have initiallized contact. However the my sons father has now phoned me demanding a dna test. I will be consulting a solicitor but can anyone tell me whether or not this man has any legal rights over my son or whether he would have any case for contact. please reply as i am sick with worry and haven't slept properly in days thinking about this. Thank you for your time.
2006-07-27 11:53:28 · 24 answers · asked by shauneen 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
the fathers name is not on the birth certificate for the simple fact that when i told him i was pregnant he shouted at me and then broke all contact except for a phone call when i was in hospital giving birth telling me that he wanted a dna test. I agreed to this test and told him to contact me with the details but i never heard from him again until now.
2006-07-27 12:23:16 · update #1
thank you all for your advice. i really appreciate you taking your time to help me. you are all very kind and this has helped me a lot. thank you.
2006-07-28 09:43:48 · update #2
Questions for you:
1. Did you list him as the father on the birth certificate?
2. Has he given ANY financial support to you?
If both of those are no, then it is likely you will have a stonger case to deny him.
Exactly what your legal rights are really depend upon your place of residence (your use of solicitor implies you aren't in the US), so you'll have to ask someone who knows the law in your area.
But do remember that while he may demand a DNA test, along with paternal rights such as visitation, come parental RESPONSIBILITIES such as child support.
So while he may win visitation, there is a good chance he could also owe you nine years of back child support.
2006-07-27 12:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by Chris H 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First is his father's name on the birth certificate? If not then legally until some form of rights are established as well as paternity then no. If however his name is on the child's birth certificate it is more complicated. If his name is on there and you have no order giving you full custody then actually the child belongs to both of you and at anytime he could demand his rights and sorry to scare you if this is the case he can take the child and you can't do anything about it without going into court.. It is good that you are allowing the childs grandparents to take a part in his life, it is a shame his father has to be such a jerk about it. Get to an attorney, let him have his DNA test and then nail him for child support for now and the last nine years he forgot he had a son. If you want to talk feel free to contact me
2006-07-27 12:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man can file a case with the courts to request a paternity test be done on a child that he has reason to believe is his biological child. He has a right to know this, in the eyes of the law at least. It is very likely that if the test results show that this is his son, he will recieve some type of visitation. Most judges believe that it is in a childs best interest to have both parents in their life. They will probably give him the benefit of the doubt as to why he has not showed an interest before. I know you dont want to hear this, but if it is his son he is more than likely going to get some type of rights to this child.
I know that he has not been there for you or his son, but maybe he has changed and this might me a good thing. Regardless of the outcome, please do not try to turn your son against him. It might make you feel better, but it will just make things harder on the child when he is made to have visitation with his father.
You need to get a lawyer if you dont already. But just be preparred for having to share your son with this man.
Good luck.
2006-07-27 12:09:59 · answer #3 · answered by LittleMermaid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, if you two were married when the child was born, he is listed on the birth certificate as the legal father and retains his parental rights rights regardless of whether he has helped financially or not. The only time the father on the birth certificate does not automatically have parental rights is if the parents were unmarried at the time of birth (in which case a paternity affidavit must be signed for the father to have any legal parental rights to the child), this is true in South Carolina, but I would check to see if the same applies in your state. Good luck!
2006-07-27 12:12:33 · answer #4 · answered by squigit1985 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately ( I'm assuming ), he does have a case, and legal rights; well, at least he does after the DNA test proves that he is the Father. You do not have to pay for this test though. He is the one demanding it; therefore, it is his financial responsibility. On a good note though; I think it's a good thing that your exes family want to know your son. This could be a good thing for your son. Also, once paternity is determined, you can counter his demand for visitation with a demand for child support ( if he hasn't been paying any to you ).
Try to look at it from a positive point of view; for your son's sake. I wish my son's Father wanted something - hell, anything to do with him. Trust me, as your son gets older, he is probably going to have some issues about his Father not being in his life. So if you can do anything to help him, you should.
Just my opinion. Good luck.
2006-07-27 12:02:39 · answer #5 · answered by pockets 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I think bottom line if the DNA test shows the kids is his, then your outta luck....he can go get court ordered visitation. But he'll also have to pay all back child support and future child support. PLUS..if you received any type of state aid while he was MIA then he has to prepay that as well... Now why not get the DNA test? Maybe he's not the horrible jackass you remember him being? People to change when they grow up...so for your sons sake, I hope that's the case. IF he does prove to be his father, but I'm sure you know what I mean...
2006-07-27 13:35:53 · answer #6 · answered by Sharlala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every state is different. The DNA test will be the deciding factor. In California the positive DNA test and absent father is grounds for you to get Back pay on child support or at least a chance for you to start getting money from him, as for his rights, your child is almost at the age where the courts will ask him what he wants to do . The courts wont give him custody unless he can prove your unfit which I'm guessing your not. If it's negative then he has no responsibility or right to your child.
2006-07-27 12:28:36 · answer #7 · answered by manda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's the father he has rights too. is his name on the birth certificate? not sure if that means anything now a days or not but yeah definately consult with a solicitor (lawyer) first before agreeing to anything the deadbeat dad requests.
it's sad it took him this long (9 yrs) to attempt to take interest in his son. maybe it just took him this long to grow up and he needs the dna as a determining factor that this boy is his before he steps into your sons life or on the other side of that it could be that he's upset with his own parents for initializing contact with you. still in denial of being the father to your son and wanting to prove to his parents, with a dna test, that he's right.
in the states, dna testing is quite common and required by the courts during any child custody case with concerns of doubt.
whatever your outcome is, if he's in your sons life, you and him need to with hold any differences you may have for each other. focus on your son and his well being cause your son it's whats important, not fighting with his dad.
you never said what your son thinks about all of this with the father making contact with you. have you kept that from him or does he know? how did he react about the grandparents?
you said that your sick with worry and haven't slept properly in days but didn't you know in the back of your mind that this day was gonna happen? don't you think that at some point in your sons life he was gonna track his dad down for all those unanswered questions he's got or gonna have?
if the father is legit with wanting to be a dad to your son, don't deny either one of it, just accept it. if the father is just attempting to get out of his responsibly but proven to be the father, nail that bastard for back child support and give it to your son for a car when he gets of age or to put back for his education.
i wish the best for your son.
2006-07-27 12:57:47 · answer #8 · answered by str8tupgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this child turns out to be his through dna i am sorry yes he has legal rights check with your solicitor. Remeber if your amiciable throughout the process the judge(if it get this far) will mostly agree with you inputs. If the child is his suggest maybe 4 hours a month supervised at first as he left you. You should call the shots but please remember the innocent one in all this your son. Do you want your son to look back and remember that you refused his potential father access? In my eyes i think if he is the father let him see your son but on your terms.
2006-07-28 08:02:00 · answer #9 · answered by jules 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about the laws in your state or prov ( wherever you live) but I know from personal experience- if the dna test comes up positive- they might allow you only to give hime supervised visits until both child-you- and absentee father and the courts agree to full visitation- demand supervised visits- besure to explain that in your son's best interest- that this man is a complete stranger & if he- the father is going to be HELL- then demand child support with arrears
2006-07-27 12:16:58 · answer #10 · answered by bugz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋