Sober But Suicidal?

Question

I'm a recovering alcoholic and have been going to AA meeting for 3 years but have had a number of relapses. Almost exactly a year ago my ex-girlfriend left me.

I've been going back to meeting, but still, after 3 years, I have yet to make a single friend. Things are more difficult now since about every man that I know has tried to date her, and at least one has slept with her.

I'm not sure why god wants me to live out the rest of my life so unhappy and lonely. I'm going to give it 3 more days (including today).

On Saturday is my ex girlfriends 1 year sober anniversary. We were going to go out, but she changed her mind at the last minute. She has alot of sober male friends always hitting on her.

I've decided that if my lonliness doesn't end, or if another AA doesn't befriend me by the end of Saturday nights meeting I'm going to buy a bottle, drink it and hang myself.

Please don't suggest medical care as I cannot afford it. I do not qualify for any govt aid.

Answer 1

Here's your solution. Stop thinking your life revolves around this woman. There aren't any miracle medicines for this kind of bahavior. What you need is a healthy dose of tough love my friend. That's good news for you too, because it won't cost you a dime to sit here and listen to me when I give you the "what for" about this.

Drinking that beer sure does help the pain for a little while doesn't it? But wait, you're still depressed and thinking (mentally hurting even) about her. I think you got ripped on that deal man. You don't have to keep yourself away from beer forever to realize that alchohal wasn't the only problem. Seriously, you and I both know it's not healthy to sit around and mope about the past. That's why you started drinking heavy. It's a vicious cycle that you have to have the willpower to end.

The past is the past, and what's in the past will never change. You're better off looking for a better future, and to do that, you've got to change a few things about the way you think. (I can't say I've really REALLY ever considered suicide before, but I know exactly where you're coming from when it comes to missing someone you really cared about. Really man. I went days without sleep and cried every night for months, and all the while, I was just hoping someone would help me, but no one ever did. I finally decided I was tired of being unhappy and wanted to do something about it, much like what you're doing right now. So really, don't think what I'm saying is just a bunch of empty suggestions. This is real, and it works. I vouche for that.)

Suicide is the coward's way out, and I know there's a man still inside of you somewhere. You just don't know where he is because it sounds like this woman made you forget all about him. It's happened to all of us at least once, and there's no shame in that. It's better you learn from the failure instead of continuing to do what hasn't been working so far.

I admire the determination people display when they stand for something they believe in, and I know that that's what you've been doing all along. Don't kick yourself for losing the love of your life. If you listen to me right now, you're going to wonder one day in the future when you're with someone that you honestly love and who truly loves you back why the hell you ever thought this girl you can't get over right now almost made you end your life.

Getting back to that determination of yours...Your heart has always been in the right place friend, but just like so many of us in the past, you've been a little misslead about that thing called love and how to get it.

Make no mistake. God works in mysterious ways, and if anything, he's been giving you huge signs that this woman was never meant for you. God knows just as well as I know that there are much better things left for you than you think.

Do you want to know why miracles never happen for you? It's simple really. The miracle is inside of you waiting to happen. All you have to do is do something about it to make it come about. Take my advice and you'll see what I mean.

First things first. You're correct in thinking that you need to make some friends again, but ironically enough, those guys you meet at AA meetings aren't in any better shape than you are to make friends at the moment. Instead, focus on trying to make friends elsewhere, or perhaps mending the wounds of a friendship you ended so long ago. A very good place to start making friends is in the workplace. So if you've got a job that requires you to interact with other people, try being a little more friendly with them.

Just because you go to AA meetings doesn't mean you have to wear it like a badge for everyone to see ya know, so don't let that weigh you down when you try to make friends with people. This is something personal about yourself that not everyone has to know. I'm not saying hide the fact that you're trying to better yourself, just don't make it a priority to tell anyone who doesn't know. What you do on your own time is your business, so don't feel obligated to let people know you're going through some hard times if you don't have to.

I'll tell you why it can be hard for a person in your situation to make friends. To put it bluntly so as not to confuse you, when you try to talk with people when you're depressed like this, you're unloading all of your sadness onto them, and in case you didn't know, nobody likes a joykill. I could continue saying nice comforting things like, "but that's not your fault," but I'm not going to lie to you. This time, it is your fault.

Controlling your feelings, believe it or not, is actually something that you yourself have the capacity to do. Only you can express the feelings you feel inside to other people, and when you give off all those negative depressing vibes, it's no wonder you can't make any friends. Refrain from thinking anything negative. Don't beat yourself up for things you can't change and focus on the positive from now on. It's hard, very hard to stop thinking negatively altogether. Believe me, I'm still guilty of it once in a while, but I've come a very long way from where I used to be.

Ask yourself: Would I want to be around someone who is never happy and always wants people to feel sorry for him? Hell no you don't. So maybe now you see just what it is you have to change.

If you ever want to be happy again, you really have to force yourself to stop being depressed. I know it's a lot, but I pulled through, and if I can do it, you can too. I don't really know anything about you or any of your past, but I'm willing to bet that you've had "good times" before. So try this: Instead of focusing on the memories of the hurt and anguish she put you through, do your very best to remember a time when you were having a great time, and focus on that instead.

Once you think you've got a real grip on yourself again, go make yourself some buddies. It doesn't matter who they are. Hell, it could even be people you don't even like. Just making friends with even one person really helps a lot. (Hell, if you happen to make friends with someone you thought you were mortal enemies with, then making friends with perfect strangers should be no sweat.) After you make one, you'll find that making more won't be as diffacult.

Perhaps after you get the stability from knowing how to make friends with people under your belt, you'll be ready to tackle working on an all out relationship with someone.

One last thing. That determination of yours I mentioned earlier. Put it to good use by never letting anyone get you down again. This isn't an easy challenge, and you're more than likely to still run into failure on your path to happiness. Never break your stride man. Keep going and learn from what doesn't work, and then try something different the next time. I probably screwed up so many friendships with men and women alike before I started seeing results. With your determination, you'll make it.

Answer 2

Have you talked to your AA sponsor? That is a good place to start. This woman is not for you, if she loved you she would stick by you and not go out with another man. How is this suggestion: I am now divorced from a recovering alcoholic and understand some of what you have to deal with. You can contact me through the "answers" page if you need to talk to someone. Do not keep dwelling on the past girlfriend. She is not good enough for you. You will move on in time, but it hurts so much before you heal. Hang in there and contact anyone who will listen to you. Don't give up.

Answer 3

Please, allow me to give my suggestion to your “question”.
I think, killing yourself is not the solution. I will not say that suicide is an act of cowardice, because I think you don't really care, since you seem like you’ve reached the point where you don't care what happens to you, and have become enveloped by your addiction. Emotions are a key driving force in our lives. Once emotions are aroused, the intellect or the reasoning faculty becomes overshadowed. The emotions are stronger than the reason and tend to have the final say.
I will not tell you to go church either (although I myself do as often as I can), at least not as a first choice for the moment.

My suggestion is to ask help from someone who will not say “no” to you; to make friends with someone who truly loves you and desires to be your friend and companion in everything you go through; to open your door to someone who’s been knocking at it all of your life; to ask help from a source you’re absolutely qualified; to accept help from someone who can give and already has the plan for your way out; to invite Jesus Christ the son of God in your life.

Don’t be discouraged. Don’t loose heart. Because everyone is born in sin, we all have our addictions. We have no room to say we're better off than anyone else. The Lord warned us that "Unless we are born again we can never see the kingdom of God" (John 3:3).
With any attempt at restoration, there needs to be a reliance on God's grace. The Lord has the power to supernaturally break the hold of any sin that binds us.

Why kill yourself while you can live a meaningful life in joy and hope and happiness from today, in this life, even through (if necessary) problems / troubles / struggles / worries / fears / threats / disappointments / ill-treatments, even as they occur, and eternal life in the presence of a leally loving Father afterwards?

Answer 4

This is really hard, I dont know what I could possibly say to you that might change your decision. If I lived closer I would be your friend. Im not sure why you think this girl is so important to you, there are alot of places you can go to meet other women ( other than a bar)...How come you dont have any friends?...you could try getting involved with certain things around town that might connect you with people. Congratulations for staying sober as long as you have, I hope you continue to hold strong and not kill yourself. If God brings you to it, he will get you through it...he works in mysterious ways, dont give up...trust me please, things will work out.
Is there any family you could try and talk things out with, anything to keep yourself busy will help get your mind off your looses. Be proud of yourself, you have come a long way.
I hope this helped, even a little bit...good luck hun

Answer 5

Cory, You have controlled to sit down & form on YA soliciting for recommendation. Yr spouse is year high-quality best friend, don't forget about year emotions you must ask for support. IDK who you inform however please, please inform any person. You can be amazed how supportive year spouse can be. How can she support you if you do not ask, she's no longer a brain reader. The most powerful guy is one that may cry & exhibit his feelings & love with all his center - you'll be able to be that guy she won't feel any much less of you. Why is any of this year fault? You did not prefer to get under the influence of alcohol & force, you attempted to get the keys off the drunken motive force. Everything could be very uncooked atm. You are nonetheless right here for a intent, I cannot inform you what that's however you would not of survived if year 'time used to be up'. Use the possibility to get support, each from year spouse, a counsellor & even therapy can support. Trust me you could no longer be doing any person a desire via committing suicide. Have you instructed year father and mother how they're making you think or year deceased peers household? It is known as 'individual accountability" the opposite boys within the auto didn't prefer accurately, it's not year fault. As harsh because it sounds it's so especially true. Do you feel year brother could want you to go away year father and mother who're already grieving? You are desired & cherished, you simply cannot think that atm considering of the despair that has gripped you. Please search support are their any resources to be had that you'll be able to cellphone akin to 'lifestyles-line' or 'past blue'? There are many businesses that may help. Reach out. I've 'walked a mile in year sneakers', so my pal you'll be able to get via this together with your spouse. Good success & god bless.

Answer 6

OKAY. LISTEN TO ME. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMS. SERIOUSLY, LISTEN, THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT WAY!!!! DON'T KILL YOURSELF OVER THIS WOMAN. GO OUT, MEET PEOPLE! AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE YOU COULD GET OFF THE INTERNET AND MAKE YOURSELF A LIFE! BUT KILLING YOURSELF IS NOT THE WAY. YOU DON'T WANT TO END YOUR LIFE THIS EARLY, BELIEVE ME, YOU DON'T. THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU WILL BE SO SAD. DO IT FOR YOUR PARENTS AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND LOVES YOU. DON'T LET THE IDEA OF SUICIDE TAKE AHOLD OF YOU. GET OUT, AND HAVE FUN. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME WAITING FOR THIS GIRL. because shes probably not going to come. you just need to take it easy, and make some friends. and do not resolve to drinking either. thats not a way to solve your problems. truly, do not kill yourself.
i know what i'm saying here.
this girl, forget about it.
there is someone made for everyone out there.
maybe you just haven't met her yet.
if you kill yourself this saturday, you probably never will.



WAIT.
there is someone out there for you.

Answer 7

PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!
There are many places available to assist you that does NOT cost any money!!
Call the AA hotline ~~ TALK TO SOMEONE. PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE.
You know since you were in the program that you do not need to listen to YOUR OWN HEAD...Go to a meeting ~~ and share about your concerns. You know that there will be others there that will surround you with LOVE AND SUPPORT ... who will NOT leave your side!!!
Suicide is a PERMANENT SOLUTION to a SHORT TERM PROBLEM... because all problems are short-term. THIS TOO SHALL PASS ~~ you know that saying too!! Your emotions and your feelings today will pass. Alcohol will only DEPRESS YOU MORE!!! PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE!!! YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS!! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!

Answer 8

You need to quit thinking about this girl and start loving and caring for yourself. Talk to your friends. Good Luck!

Answer 9

.800.SUICIDE - National Suicide Prevention Hotline::
Kristin Brooks Hope Center, Program Manager of the National Hopeline Network: 1.800.SUICIDE (784 ... If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433)

www.hopeline.com SuicideHotlines

Answer 10

what you need to do is sign yourself into a mental hospital if you are feeling suicidal. it really helps to go hang out with family. if you kill yourself, it is a mortal sin, and you will go ti hell, why don't you ask a charlie(PREACHER) for help?could there be anything worse then burning forever? i think not.

Answer 11

Ive been suicidal
I would be happy to talk to you about it.
trust me buddy it gets better
it really does
life sucks so bad at times but one day u will realize how amazing life really can be