If a girl is dating someone else but your not sure should you still ask her out?

Question

There is this girl I like and I would like to give her a call to hang out, but I am not sure if she still has a boy friend. It is summer and I won't see her till school. What should I do?

Answer 1

Whoa, this sounds familiar... :D

Yep, I know the feeling. I've been in that situation too, and I can tell you this: you have nothing to lose. There's no evil in hanging out with someone, even if they are already committed. Now I guess if you want to get "serious" about it, it all becomes a totally different matter.

Communicating, sharing ideas and knowledge, talking about past life experiences, and having a good time are all very healthy and necessary things, and they can be done with anyone. Love has nothing to do with this - except that a simple friendship might later evolve into a passion, and then into something else...

Even if she has a boyfriend, you should be free to talk to her without any fears. And if she does have a boyfriend and he is unbelievably jealous, even to the point of trying to stop you... he has NOTHING to do with it. It's about HER feelings, not his. She should be free to hang out with anybody she likes, and not feel "imprisoned" by her boyfriend. Furthermore, overpossessiveness from a boyfriend seems to be a formidable sign of insecurity and of lack of self-esteem.

In other words, if he's jealous... that's because he is afraid of losing her.
He does not trust her enough that she can talk to you and still remember her feelings about him and stay true to those feelings.
He is afraid she'll bail out at the first chance she gets.
He thinks he owns her.
In other words... he does not deserve her.

While I naturally would not approve of someone repeatedly and/or forcefully trying to take her away from me, and would always defend her whenever I'd see a real threat, I certainly would not like to make a slave out of her by telling her what to do and where to be and who to see - and while we're at it, what to think and what to feel.

So don't worry about that either. Go ahead and talk to her. Always respect her and her feelings, though, and bear in mind that she may or may not want or be able to talk to you. (This is true for every moment of her life, because her life certainly can't be much less complex than anybody else's.)

One other thing: try not to assume from the start that you are going to conquer her. I know it's tempting to "dream ahead", but it will only make you even more nervous. So try to look at her as a potential friend, someone who can talk to you, and who can help you, and whom you can help, and with whom you can come to have many rewarding conversations as your relationship evolves.

In other words, LISTEN to what she has to say just as you would like her to listen to you.

Come what may, you will always feel better if you talk to her. But be an adult about it, and always respect her and her feelings. Making her bored of offended is definitely not going to work. Now, making her interested and supported might be the way to go. Don't make her feel like she's wasting her time. And speaking of time, why wait around until the vacations are over? Do it now! Ask her out and be yourself. And above all else, be confident in yourself, being yourself.

If she has a boyfriend, at least you won't have to live with the uncertainty and the doubts and the what-ifs.
And do yourself a favor: DO NOT wait around for their relationship to collapse eventually. That's not fair to them, and much less so to you. Just move the hell on. Be friends with her, yes sir, but don't dwell on what might have been. It's a pretty big world out there. :P

And if she doesn't have a boyfriend... you'll know what to do. ;)

Best of luck, pal.

Answer 2

simple enough. just pick up the phone and dial her number. Now ask to speak to her, wait for her to answer, now tell her you would like to take her out somewher may be the cinema or for a snack somewhere. if she agrees to go out with you then talk to her and tell her how you feel, tell her you are interested in being more than just friends.
if she has a boyfriend if she is happy with him she will tell you sory i'm already dating someone (or words to that effect). tell her you would still like to be friends. she should agree. now wiat if the relationship she is in breaks up be there for her, console her then wait a little while a week or three then ask her out again romantically. she may still say no but you have nothing to loose except may be a little pride if she says no.

if she says yes however then you'd better get some lead weighted boots because my guess is you will be feeling lighter than air.

good luck. and don't end up like me 32 and single with no prospect of getting a date. I've alwayts been to chicken to go ask a girl out myself. that is why i long for the day when girls are doing the asking as well as us guys.

remember though she is not the only girl in the world so be prepared to move on if she does say no. as a rule going through life the words thart hurt us guys the most are no i'm not interested, most of us here these an awful lot growing up and into adult life. so while a no will hurt your feelings keep asking and you are bound to get one girl say yes one day. or keep asking the same girl out until she says yes just to stop you asking.
i hope it works out for you.

Answer 3

Do you know her possibly ex-man's name? If so do something like this(we'll call the maybe ex Bill) ; call her up just to talk then say something like "Hey Jessica, how are you? I haven't seen you in a while and just wanted to see how you're doing" Later in the conversation after things have been going well say "How is Bill doing these days" she will let you know if she is still seeing him, if she is DO NOT ASK HER OUT. If she isn't, say "I'm so sorry to hear that." LATER, not too much later just about 2 days, have another conversation with her and ask her out then.
hope this helps!

Answer 4

Call her and ask her a lame *** question like what day does school start again? Then ask if she still has that boyfriend of hers. It's not cool to ask a girl who is spoken for out. It's disrespectful to the guy. I'm not too keen on guys asking my lady out - if they do it more than once they're going to get a beating.

Answer 5

Well if she knows u sort of like a "friend" or from a class then u should ask her out to lunch. But be casual. act like a friend just in case she has a boy friend. and during a conversation u can slip the question in. but life comes with no guaranties so i could be wrong.

Answer 6

Remember the old phrase, "It never hurts to ask." Also, this works when the boyfriend is present as well. Just make sure you have health insurance and you'll be fine.

Answer 7

Just kinda ask her if she's seeing anyone and don't be too straight foward with it, like comeing right out and saying it when you first talk to her, just kinda talk with her a little and slip it in. Then ask her out if she's not. And be calm and cool about it.

Answer 8

i imagine she isn't optimistic . at the same time as she's loose . that ought to represent she's attempting to procrastinate it so she gained't damage 12 months thoughts or perhaps she merely skill , at the same time as she's loose , optimistic !! it is both . She ought to've merely flat out stated no . So perchance she is putting forward sure (;

Answer 9

Call her. You never know. Unless you know for sure that she has a boyfriend, then you should not ask. Or maybe you should? Let her know she has options. Girls like choices.

Answer 10

Go for it.......don't live your life on the side lines wondering.....jump in the game and just do it! Regret is something very hard to live with. You can always say....hey I gave it go. And even if she is taken....she may become single again ...soon. So what have you got to lose!