Falling for your best guy friend?

Question

What's it like to fall in love with your best friend? As in, a good friend you've had all your life, and one day you realize you have feelings for that person. What are the complications, the considerations? How do you test the waters to see if it's mutual? How do you get over the awkwardness at first, or is there any? (Thorough answers appreciated.)

Answer 1

I would recommend that you not try. You don't want to hear that, though do you? Well, if you want to "test the waters" to find out if he likes you back, a simple and blunt, "Do you like me?" will do the trick. Again, I wouldn't advise actually doing that though.

A friendship is NEVER the same again after you ask a question like this. (This is assuming the answer is a no of course.) Believe me, once they know you're attracted to them, it's like finishing a book with an ending that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. They won't look at you the same way anymore. (That last part is true for both a yes or a no answer.)

Because I know that you can't help feeling attracted to this person, you're better off finding out the answer now instead of holding off forever. A very good way to ruin the mood of the situation when you ask is when you start stressing out about it. Don't let yourself become awkward and indecisive when you go to ask, he's going to think something is wrong with you if you do.

If you've been friends for a long time and slowly you've felt yourself falling for him, there's a good chance he feels the same. Basically, just keep a natural attitude about it, and if he says no then just get over it. There's really nothing you can do besides move on and find someone else.

Answer 2

Dave and I have been best friends for about 18 years now. Went to school together, hung out together, depended on each other, and have had a bond that I've never found with someone else. We actually got married in 1999 and it was good at first. I always wondered then what marriage did to our friendship. We separated in 2003. It was a hard decision, but things had changed. As my husband he couldn't give the same advice to me as he had used to. The friendship lessened and the routine came. It took us about 6 months after we split up to realize that we are better off as friends. To this day, he is still my best friend and I am his. As friends, you can be your self, as a couple, theres different expectations that you have for each other that you don't even realize at the time.Be certain it's what you both want. Good luck to you and I hope every thing works out for the best.

Answer 3

If a guy is spending a lot of time with you, he's probably interested. I say go for it! If your not sure, see how he acts when you talk about other guys. Does he seem jealous? Does he talk about other women he might be interested in? I would take it slow first. Just in case it's not mutual, it could ruin your friendship. Still, don't go the rest of your life asking what if?

Answer 4

Well that happened to me and we would have been good together because we both have feelings for each other, but he changed schools and for some reason are conversation died off and i didn't talk to him for a year. then he recently asked me for advice on his gf...it was really crushing to hear him ask me about another gurl he liked, it almost makes me wonder is he was trying to make me jelous and if he was it worked. well enough about my story There really wasn't all that much awkwardness it was just like hanging out together like we usually do except a lot more touching! there wasnt really to many complications exxcept i have to warn you if you break up or things dont work out then you might not be friends anymore and you dont want that! good luck!

Answer 5

Sounds to me like it would be a good long term relationship. You should be up front with him and let him know that you have fallen for him. I dont think there will be any complications other than ones that every other couple goes through. It should work well because you guys already know each other well.

Answer 6

First you test the waters by using the art of flirtation:

*Using the eyes to communite interest.
*Nod approvingly when he speaks to you.
*Move close to him to see if he leans in or away from you.
* Smile at him to show that you're a happy fun person.
* Touch him on 'safe' body parts like the hand, arm or shoulder to indicate your interest.

Should his body language indicate attraction, he'll likely take it from there, especially if he gives you an affectionate touch in response to yours.

By all means go for it, otherwise you may wonder forever what might have been...but monitor his reactions to your flirty moves first.

Answer 7

thats something that should happen to guys not so much as girls but for a guy its like the girl friend starts understanding you and you just have a good time together so its becomes more of a lust the love. The complication is They know your problems and alot of things about you and if something goes wrong it hurts the friendship. i don't know how to get over it sorry

Answer 8

It is hard if you have fallen in love with that person, because you do not want to break up the bond that you two have. If you do fall in love take it step by step and do not rush it.

Answer 9

I had To same problem i don't have much advise except that if you break up it could ruin your friendship

Answer 10

Trust me its (happening to me) i love him like theres no tomorrow and he is my best guy friend. its hard to deal with but in the end, it all works out!

P.s. no awkwardness here!