how do you tell your boyfriend u've never had an orgasam if he thinks you have one almost everytime u have sex

Question

i fake it everytime, because when we first started having sex he asked me why i didn't orgasam, and i felt bad so i started faking them.

Answer 1

I fake them all the time- wouldn't want to offend my hand. I don't think its a problem.

Answer 2

Oh my goodness. ONLY if you NEVER want to be completely satisfied... should you continue doing it the same way you have been. If you always allow him to believe that you are satisfied, in the end, you will not be, and you can just expect the same unsatisfied feeling every time because why should he do anything differently when he believes you are satisfied anyway.
I did the same thing at first, when I was younger.... just fake it, but ever since I discovered I wasn't really having such a great time after all, I now NEVER pretend. Believe me... if a guy wants to satisfy you, he will be willing to try to find out what works for you as well. And... trust me, you will thank me later when you don't have to fake it ever again. And he truly knows he is helping you feel that way. Just be honest and tell him the truth, unless you don't plan on staying with him... then you may as well let him think so. But if your relationship is long term, you should not only do it for your own sanity/sake, but his as well.
Best of luck!

Answer 3

Think of it this way: You have lied to him about
a thing that he will take very personally: His
sexual performance. And you did so repeatedly.

Not a good way to establish trust in a relationship.

It is a time bomb waiting to go off. The only way
you can de-fuse it is to get to the point where you
are having orgasms.

You tell him that it has felt good (assuming it has)
but you'd like to try some things. You don't have
to emphasize the either-or nature of either having
or not having an orgasm - but instead help the
two of you to improve your sex lives.

Once you are sexually satisfied, maybe it
won't be so hard for him to hear that you
weren't technically having an orgasm before.

I would bet, however, that the subject will come
up.

If you don't think the relationship will last
enough to care, however, I suppose you could
just simply not tell him and hope he doesn't
find out while you're still gleaning whatever it
is that you are gleaning out of the relationship.

Then dump him and who cares, right?

Very sad.

Answer 4

You know it's OK to be honest and say no, you haven't had an orgasm. . As long as you let him know that it doesn't mean you don't desire him or you don't love having sex with him. It's not his fault. A lot of women can't have orgasms no' matter who they're having sex with. Just like if a man is having trouble getting an erection, it's not the women's fault. It's just that sex is not always perfect and doesn't always work out like we think it should.

There's too much pressure about sex. It's not like an SAT test or something. It's supposed to be fun!! Just because you didn't have an orgasm doesn't mean you didn't ENJOY it right? and isn't that the point? To ENJOY each other? no matter what happens or doesn't happen.

Answer 5

Well, that was silly, why on earth did you do something that dishonest to him?

First you need to admit to him that you've been lying to him and tricking him about something really important for almost as long as you've been together. If the relationship survives that little bombshell, he presumably loves you enough that he'll want to help you get over yourt problem. The trouble is, there's not a lot he can do to help, at least at first -- by far the best way for a woman who hasn't yet managed to learn how to have an orgasm is to first learn to do it by herself while masturbating. There are a number of good books on how to become orgasmic, buy yourself one or two of them, and a vibrator or two, and work on this. Once you can do it reliably by yourself then the two of you can work together on giving you orgasms during sex.

Answer 6

You've got to tell him. There are a lot of women who don't orgasam during intercourse, you have to tell him so that you can focus in on foreplay. During foreplay that's when you get yours and during intercourse that's when he gets his. If you ever want to be happy sexually in the relationship you have to tell him. Tell him (whether it's true or not) that you've never been with anyone who can make you orgasm through intercourse (even if you can orgasm, there's no point in telling him, if he can't do it he probably never will). The only way you're going to get yours is to focus in on foreplay. Ensure that he knows that you enjoy intercourse, it's just not enough to push you to the brink - that has got to be a major point, you can't tell him you don't like it all - that would be hurtful.

Answer 7

it seems like you feel bad about not being honest with him in the first place. I know crushing a man's ego by telling him he doesn't "hit the spot" is a tough one. So you can either keep faking or If you wanna experience it with him you two need to talk. Sex is good when its done right plus how would you feel if he faked that it was good with you. Its ur call. To "Fake" or to "Shake"
good luck.

Answer 8

don't tell him that you have been faking. If you want to have an orgasam and think that he can change something to help you to get it, just tell him that the "old way" stopped giving you an orgasm and you want to try something now.

Answer 9

Well if he is thinking he's doing a great job, and giving you an orgasm, you will never have the real thing, will you.
If you want one, you have to be truthful with him. Sit down and talk openly about what will give you one, and how he can acheive it.
Love making is pleasing each other, and if there is no truth in the relationship, that simply isn't possible.
So be up front, and honest, for both of your sakes.

Answer 10

Tell him. Speaking from a male perspective i can tell you that i would rather a girl fake it than lay there and look bored. Try and be considerate to his feelings but maybe say that only recently you haven't been having orgasms. When you are having sex try and tell him what to do to make it better for you, otherwise he will be guessing and probably won't give you what you want.

Answer 11

Honestly, you should have told him then. You may be able to fix this without telling him right out, though. Take more control during sex, guide him to the things you like, put on a little more show when he finds them himself, and don't let him finish until you do...for real.

You're both responsible for both orgasms. It's not just his job to take care of you and vice versa.