At what age should parents stop spanking?

Question

I'm 19 and my parents spanked me until I was 17. I have younger siblings at 12 and 15 that are both still spanked. It is an effective punishment, but at what age should parents stop? I'm in a seriously relationship now, and have been starting to think about marriage and kids. The thing is is that at about 12 or 13 I felt a little violated when spanked, but I grew out of that around 16 and realized it was just my parents way of correcting me, even though I hated it, I knew and know they did it because they loved me. I got close to straight A's, and go to a good school now, and both my brother and sister do very well and school and don't screw around with drugs or anything. So I do think spanking is a good thing, but when should it stop? Even though it still worked at 17, is that too old?

To thatmadlass:

Yes, I'm absolutely a better person, I did better in school, and I stayed away from drugs and sex in large part to spankings.


To N17904:

My parents took away games, phone, TV, et al as well, but when it was something bad it also came with a spanking.

To Kitty: Obviously your parents never raised you to not be judgemental of others.

Answer 1

My Mom got spanked until she was 18 years old and engaged! It seems crazy but when your parents think you deserve a spanking (you probably do!) My last one was at 15 and i was being a real butt hole and my Mom "corrected me" I was shocked 'cause I didn't think she'd spank me being that old. BUT she did! and I am a little better because of it...
(I'm 22 now)

Answer 2

I don't really have an answer for your question. I think it depends on the individual child and their parents. 17 does seem a bit late to stop that form of punishment. However, I want to say that I admire you for how strong you are and how you stand by what your parents did (spanking). It's nice to see a young person admit that what their parents did as punishment was for the child's best interest. Don't let the people who were here judging you and your parents bother you. I'm sure you know there's a HUGE difference between spanking and beating. Of course, beating is never right. However, back in the day, I had a few spankings of my own and I'm also the better person for it. I had it coming, no doubt about it. I'm still old fashioned and strict with my daughter. She's a wonderful person too. People love being around her because she's respectful and well mannered. It's amazing what LOTS of love and a little discipline when needed can do. Her usual punishment is the things she likes the most being taken away from her. Each child is different though....and so is each situation. Your parents obviously know this. They've done a good job. I wish you all the best in your future.

Answer 3

I think that parents should stop spanking when it doesn't bother the child anymore. When I was younger I would get a choice of a beating or punishment; I chose a beating everytime.

Punishments should change as you get older. When there is something else that can be done ( taking away games, no t.v, no phones etc...) then that's what should be done. If you teach a child that hitting is always going to solve things, they will think that way.

Answer 4

I think parents should stop spanking at the age of 8. Why? Because age 8 is when the body starts developing. Any spanking after this age is a huge violation of ones body. I also think that the dad should spank the boys, and the mom should spank the girls (as in terms of respect in privacy). There are other effective ways to "correct" a kid. Like depriving the kid of priveleges. That works too.

Answer 5

My mother stopped spanking me when I was about 11 or so, and I think that was the appropriate age for me...I think spanking should be continued until it is no longer an effective way of disciplining your children...remember, spanking is not child abuse as long as it is executed with an open palm on the child's bottom...

Answer 6

my parents raised me to believe that spanking is not just a form of discipline, but a way of teaching me a lesson...
it's important that when you spank a child it be to teach them that what they did is harmful to them and could hurt them even worse...ergo...you don't spank a child for hitting...it would confuse them...but you would spank them if they try to put their finger in a socket...better the pain on their hand than the pain through their body....u just would need to make sure the punishment goes according to the crime committed...so that you come out from it and learn to not do it again out of fear of the pain and respect of your parents....
my parents stopped when i was like 7 or 8 b/c by then it's effectiveness stopped...by then yeah it hurt me, but i could handle to pain, so it didn't teach me a lesson...it didn't teach me to not do it again...it didn't scare me anymore...so my parents used grounding and taking things away from me as punishment...
punishment should be something that helps you to grow and find out what is ok to do and not to do...punishment shouldn't just be pain...it should be something that helps you to realize what u did wrong and be appropriate to the age and bad action of the person...
i think spanking over 12 yrs old is way too old and just abuse...you don't really learn from it b/c at that age you can handle the pain and it soon becomes like, "who cares...so i got swatted...the thrill of doing the bad thing is worth a little swat on the butt"...it should make you think "wow, i don't think that what i did is worth giving this up or having to do this."

Answer 7

I think its very disturbing that your parents spanked you until you were 17. Thats wrong.

Personally I think all spanking is wrong so may not be the best person to answer this.

Do you really think the reason you done well at school and didn't do drugs was because you were spanked?

Answer 8

Do you realise that you are endorsing your Parent's outrageous behaviour? Where do you get the idea that your parents hit you because they love you? Did they tell you that? well it was a lie. Spanking any child is utterly unacceptable but spanking your 17 year old daughter?? are they mad?! Don't even think about perpetuatuing this abusive behaviour with your own children. Reason, sanction, discuss...but never ever hit! And don't think (because your abusive parents told you) that violence is the only way to raise a great child. My Parents would never have contemplated hitting me and I have a loving marriage, a fabulous career, and am raising two adored Step daughters who have never been hit and are doing wonderfully.

Answer 9

they should stop at the age of 6-7 because they growing up and spanking ain't going to do anything but make it worse

Answer 10

At 17 or 18, it's probably about time your b/f took over spanking duties.