What is the purpose of a love relationship if we are truly whole alone?

Question

It seems that we go into relationships out of a sense of need, feeling incomplete, but our ventures invariably bring pain and dissapointment when things fall apart. So why do we love and how does it help our true purpose?

Answer 1

First, you are asking a great question - the most compelling and interesting question I've read today.

I think I would disagree with an implication in your question - I'm not sure we are "truly whole" alone. I think we can be. And I don't think couples are necessarily "more whole" than people who try to be as autonomous as possible. So it depends on a case by case view.

However, we are creatures that benefit from cooperation and from intelligence and perspectives beyond ourselves. Without others, our minds can become too narrowly focused and influenced.

Learning the skills and arts that facilitate love make our existence more pleasant and make our tasks easier. Love itself could be partially described as - "the art or practice of maintaining and improving interdependency with others."

So why do we love? To ease our tasks, to increase our pleasure, and to increase pleasure in others. Love often alleviates suffering through the exchange of good solutions, products, and services.

How does it help our true purpose? My answer to this question somewhat begs the question, in that I believe one of our "true purposes" is to learn how to better relate and interact with others, aka "how to love". Therefore, if your purpose is to love, the practice of loving can teach us practically how to love better.

I love your question. And your act of asking it is a very loving thing to do for yourself and others.

Answer 2

There is no real answer to this question but what I have learned of what love is to me and that is the word LOVE itself holds the answer.......

(L)isten: and validate them by hearing and empathizing.
(O)verlook: their minor character flaws as they will overlook yours.
(V)alue: who they are and what they mean to you.
(E)xpress: how you love them not just with words but with actions.