Why is it that i cant get a girlfriend? Am i ugly, or am i not that attractive to them.?

Question

I hate what i am going through right now. Being single sucks, especially since it has been 4 nine years. I'm 21 now, and havent had one since i was twelve. What the hell is going on, am i destined to live all alone for the rest of my life? If thats the case, i wont have it, i wont live alone, I'll just end my life. It sucks being alone.

Answer 1

Don't stress over it dude. It's not your fault your parents didn't teach you how to be a pimp, but just so ya know, most people don't hold you accountable for the way your face looks because it's something you have no control over. Seriously now, relax and reflect on your past experiences as you read what I'm about to tell you. I think I might just open up your eyes to a new way of thinking here.

I'm going to assume that you're not in shape and that you probably don't take as good of care of yourself as you should. It happens when we get really depressed over something like this. No, I'm not going to suggest to you that propper diet and excercise will get you all the women you've craved all these years, but it certainly does improve the odds of you being attractive to women at first glance. (Women don't respect men who don't take care of themselves. If they think you don't respect yourself, then they'll assume that would be how you would treat a relationship with them as well.)

I know what you're going through, and I know that it sucks on a level that no amount of physical pain could possibly amount to. So don't think I'm just making random suggestions for you to try, cause I know what I'm talking about from personal experience. If you want to NOT be single anymore, you need to change a few things about yourself, and not by faking anything. You know deep down who you really are inside. You're someone who deserves to be happy with an attractive woman who loves you back. So that's why you've got to bring that part of you out so you can be REAL, because you're only fooling yourself right now thinking it won't happen.

First, you need to drop the "it's never going to happen for me" attitude. That's ignorant, because I know you've never actually tried to solve this problem before. Maybe it's because you never thought of it until now, or maybe you're just too afraid of rejection. It doesn't matter. If what you've been doing so far hasn't worked, then you should take note that it's not going to work if you keep doing it. Stop being so nice and submissive!

Using my Jedi mind powers, I'm going to tell you all the things you've been doing wrong without even asking any questions. You've let your self-esteem drop to levels that make you unattractive to woman, and you don't know how to bring them back up. All your life, you've been the nice guy who gets walked on and used by all the girls he's ever encountered. Friends and enemies alike seem to have it all compared to you, and it stings like hell because you just can't figure out why. The list goes on, but I have good news.

-b*tch slaps- Don't ever think that suicide is the answer! That is the coward's way out! Start acting like the MAN you are! *Ahem* Now we move to what you should be doing...

You need to start respecting yourself, and part of respecting yourself means standing up for yourself too. If you don't feel like that's possible, then start working out and build some muscle to give yourself some confidence. Feeling weak and unworthy doesn't seem to work now then does it? Honestly, muscles don't mean a whole lot to women, though, but if you need an ego booster you can't go wrong with putting a little meat on your bones. (And stop being jealous of and thinking that all muscular men are jerks. You know that's just an excuse you use to feel better about not working out yourself.) It's all about your personality and pretty much the way you handle yourself.

One thing I know you'd never dream of doing is just walking up cold and starting a conversation with a woman you've never met before. You're always too worried that she's too good looking for you and that she might have a boyfriend right? Who cares? If she's got one, she's got one. The point is, make an effort to try instead of telling yourself it'll never work.

If you get rejected when you offer someone a date with you, move on and forget about it. You're time is too valuable to sit around and mope because "that last girl was mean to me." Grow up a little man. Have some dignity. It's nothing you can't handle, I swear it. Humiliation is a part of life, and you'll no doubt have to over come that a few times before things start to work for you. That's how it was for everyone. You just got a late start on it. It sucks, but the only thing you can do about it is start now or live forever a lonely little man.

If you're still doubtful about it, try this: Instead of slouching, not looking her in the eyes, and just generally keep acting nervous around her, (all of which will greatly reduce your chances of getting any kind of yes) stand tall, but not stiff as a board, do your best not to talk very fast, make sure you're not doing anything distracting like nervously scratching your nose or the back of your head, (you get what I mean) and most important, look her in the eyes when you talk to her. I'm not saying to give her an evil death stare, but occasionally durring the course of the conversation, make an effort to look at them...and not her breasts.

Don't make the excuse that you don't know where to meet women at either. They aren't as few and far inbetween as you're making yourself think. Go to the mall, any kind of supermarket, hell try the bars while your at it.

I know this isn't going to make many women who reads this happy, but just to point something out that would be to your advantage, try picking up on someone whom you're not entirely attracted to. This way you won't be so nervous and you'll get a feel for what it's like for when you actually see someone you're really interested in.

So there you go man. You've got your answer right here spelled out in front of you. I don't think I could make this any more plain and easy to understand for you. If you really want to be happy with yourself and meet women, this is the way to do it. Take notes, relfect, and then go experiment until you figure it all out.

Answer 2

Sounds like your confidence is a little shot which is a total turnoff for girls. You definitely don't want the pity %*$& do you?

Now with that said, physical attraction is only part of the equation. You can be a complete stud but if your attitude is shot, no woman will give you the time of day. Conversely, if you're not Brad Pitt, don't fret. A good personality, charm, charisma, humor and CONFIDENCE can get you laid for sure.

Now how does one achieve it? You'll have to fake the confidence until you can believe it yourself. First thing, treat yourself to a nice outfit. Something that says what kind of person you are. If that's preppy, geeky, goth or hip hop, go for it. Just make sure you feel comfortable. Next, be yourself! That is so cliche but so important. People, not just chicks, can tell when people are being fake and people hate it. Even if you're a little goofy, nerdy, insane or whatever, people will respect/admire you more if you stay true to who you are.

My overall advice to you is to love yourself and don't think too long and hard over this. The next time you go out, be funny and charming. Buy a lady a drink and let her be. She'll be suprised because most guys would try to hang on her all night, which is annoying.

A few tips:

1. Exude confidence even if you're not feeling so confident
2. Be yourself
3. Take pride in your appearance
4. If you're addicted to the computer, back away from the screen and interract with real people.
5. Take up a hobby like billiards or something. Chicks dig pool players.
6. Don't give up. Damn! 9 years is a long $&%*% time without someone but you have to take risks to get rewards in life.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Theres probably not a thing in the world wrong with you. I never had one boyfriend before I was 18. Didn't even get to go to the prom. But after 12 years and two marriages I have to say that I envy you. Enjoy your freedom. Do the things that single people can do. Have fun! Someone will eventally show up in your life and I bet she gets treated right.

Answer 4

I think you should just relax. I can't answer if you're ugly because I haven't seen you. You should just try to have casual conversations with all different kinds of women. That's how relationships get started. I'm sure youre not destined to be alone. Maybe youre just not putting yourself out there, or maybe you come on too strong. Who knows

Answer 5

im sorry. why end your life just because your single that wont help you. im single to but i havent thought of doing that. being single sucks at times i know. just wait and then some time a girl just right for you will come. good luck. hope every thing turns out good for you.

Answer 6

Have you ever thought that you were trying too hard? What about female friends?. Sometimes what you want is where you least expect it. Which means that if you start looking for female friends, instead of a girlfriend, you just might end up finding a girlfriend instead.

Answer 7

you've got friends right? well go out more and widen your circle of friends. make an effort to get in to recreational sports or something. just relax aorund people and they'll open up to you. its all good. its always all good. dont worry about it. just chill out and go for it. dont listen to anyone who says you're ugly or whatever on here....they dont know you...(neither do i but whatever) haha like i said. make yourself availiable. dont beat yourself up. i've learned that if you've made plans you shouldnt cancel them because theres only one life to live and you just have to go for it. if you arent sure about going out and (for example) bungie jumping or something, then you should do it. becasue if you dont, then you have come all that ways to do something that you get nervous about at the last minute and wont do. if you dont put yourself out there...then nothing will happen and you will spend your life alone. trust yourself and others. go with the flow. and most importantly...have fun

Answer 8

yr not the only one that doesn't have a gf at this age. maybe its yr whole attitude and low confidence that puts you in this situation. try to be more confident and show those teeth with a nice smile girls love this in a guy. splash on some nice Cologne. you don't have to go to a club or bar to find someone nice. look around you girls are everywhere.

Answer 9

do you socialize or even ask a girl out? cause that would be a good start.. you wont be alone if you try.. dont be afraid of being rejected s**t happens get over it and move on

Answer 10

don't do that!!! it's just you have to find that special person waiting for you out there. and you're not alone. don't you have friends you can talk to about this stuff? i bet all the girls you met were shallow or something. just be more confident when you talk to girls, it's much more attractive. hope this helps.

(and don't do anything drastic!!!!)

Answer 11

Try, try, try! That's about all the advice I can give. Go out and do things that you like, do things that you don't like. Meet people. Don't be scared, because there's someone for everyone, you just have to find her =]