Should I apologize or leave her pissed?

Question

I have known my sister in law for six years and she has never liked me due to the good relationship I have with my mother in law. My sister in law lives in Dallas and I live in San Antonio. Therefore it's harder for my mother in law to have a better relationship with her because of the distance. On Christmas Day 04' she came out and told us how much she disliked my husband and I and she would not be a brides maid at our wedding. When we have family get togethers my husband and I try to conversate but she'll only answer and say nothing else. Even though she has been the one to blame for most of the problems we have I still feel like we started on the wrong foot and should apologize to her for anything I might have done to upset her. Should I apologize or just leave it alone? I'd hate to one day have kids and always have that invisible wall between her kids and mine.

Answer 1

Dont appologize to her she does not seem like she deserves that but tell her how you feel. Tell her exactly the last line of your question. Let her know you want her in your life and want her to be a part of your family. If she doesn't respond well or she continues to be this way then you just tell her that you've tried your hardest to get along with her and you understand that she does not want to have any sort of relationship with you and if she ever changes her mind you would really like that. Then you just go on being polite when needed but don't go out of your way to be nice to her or to converse with her.

It is understandable that you want her to be a part of your family but you can't let her keep getting in the way of your happiness. There is no way to force someone to like you or to want to get along with you. Just always be the bigger person and dont take the blame for something that isn't your fault.

Answer 2

I don't think there is anything for you to apologize for. From what you are saying, she seems to be the one with the problem. Don't follow her up with her nonsense. When you do that, it just feeds into her stinking behavior. Keep going with your life and if she happens to be around, just keep being nice to her and gradually one day, she will realize how ignorant she is and will start adjusting her attitude. You can not change anyone in this world, so just pray for her and ask God to help her with whatever she is going through that has her acting like that and be the bigger person and just keep being nice to her no matter how she is acting. Good luck to you and your husband.

Answer 3

Of course you could apologize. Surely isn't going to hurt anything. However you need to realize she has the right to have whatever feelings she's having. You can't change them. Reasonable or not. But it's obvious you can help change your feeling of wether or not you should apologize. Just do it and at least you'll feel better. Might not change a thing for her, but that's her problem to have to work through.

Answer 4

just from worrying about this shows you care!!! Try to reach out to her, tell her beings you all are family weather she likes it or not, you all should try to be at least civil to one another. Beings you do live farther away from one another you really don't have to worry about seeing her a whole lot but when you do get together getting along would make the get togethers so much more tolerable.. Just explain to her how you truly feel and take it from there, if she does not respond in the manner you are hoping for at least you can feel good about trying...good luck!!!

Answer 5

I believe that unless you personally have done something to her that made her angry with you you should not apologize. However as a closer family member I believe that you should explain to her that you do not like your relationship with her and you want it to change, for the benefit of your husband, children, and yourself. Now that you are family you will forever be apart of each other's lives. It is odiously taking a toll on your conscience and is not healthy or, and I hope you are, christian. Hope I helped.

Answer 6

i totally understand where your coming from, i was in a similar situation recently, you have two options, you can just keep trying to talk to her normally and see if she'll just eventually warm up to you, or you can come out and tell her straight up, that you don't feel as if there should be any tension between the two of you...you are grown adults and there is no need for childish nonsense...apologies are for people sorry for something they did...you, in this case, did nothing wrong...save the apology for a time when it counts

Answer 7

i could say it relies upon on the subject count that brought about the combat, yet you sound such as you think of you're interior the proper. once I moved out I as quickly as visited my mom and dad and my mum exchange into being very irrational. My companion and that i left, and because then shes respected that we are adults, no longer infants. And that we dont choose her, fairly we would like her in our existence. i think of having an honest, calm communication inclusive of your mum and apologizing for over reacting could be an excellent thought. in line with risk devoid of your dad around? Your mom and dad love you unconditionally, whether they get mad at you in specific situations or locate ur complicated to come back to words with issues. it will be ok, yet attempt to place out the fires in the past the bridges get badly burned. good success

Answer 8

I don't think you have anything to apologize for, she seems to be the one with the problem. You can speak to her without apologizing, and just explain your feelings and how you don't want this barrier to last forever. Hopefully, in time, she will see the error of her ways and realize just how important family is. Good luck!

Answer 9

Sometimes, no matter what you do, it's never enough. Give her time, she might come around. I wouldn't apologize...as far as I can tell you haven't done anything wrong. I know it's uncomfortable, but just be polite and respectful, and hopefully she'll lighten up one day.

Answer 10

Dont worry your little head about her. F*ck her she is what i would call a hater and people like that are bad news.If you have a good relationship with your mother in law good for you and leave it at that.Who cares what she does it doesnt matter.You continue on with your happy life ok?