Is it healthy to let my mother in-law live with us so she can take care of our son while I am working? We don't have a very good relationship nor bad, but she smokes a lot, and use bad language...
We don't know anybody here and we have no family near us but in Puerto Rico. My mom can't come here but my mother in-law can for a while maybe permanently, but she needs to travel back there to check her own house. What can I do? I don't feel that is a good idea, Am I wrong?
2006-07-27 08:42:02 · 11 answers · asked by YO 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Not a good idea.
Not at all.
It is a bad idea if only for the health problems - second-hand smoke is AS BAD AS SMOKING. You may as well put a cigarette in your baby son's mouth.
It is a bad idea for the language which creates an atmosphere in the home which is not loving.
It is a bad idea because you need to have a family unit that is YOURS and not one that is dominated by your mother-in-law.
Find another way or stay at home with your child - this situation is not good.
2006-07-27 08:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by two 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I also don't think that having your mother-in-law living with you is a good idea. I know it is more for taking care of your son but they really don't know when to release the child back to the parents for raising. I also think that in-laws have a tendency to try and raise our kids because they raised us. I think that smoking around children are very bad "second hand smoke" and there is a possibility that your child will smoke when grown (experience) and using bad language "the kids will learn it also".
I would avoid all the headaches and just take your child to her place or a day care.
2006-07-27 08:48:21 · answer #2 · answered by money 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While no personal experience on my part, it really doesn't sound like a good idea. If she smokes a lot your kids going to be exposed to that. If the two of you have only a mediocre relationship this could go two ways: you will end up hating each other (probably the more like outcome) or you two will develop a close bond. And if she cusses like the proverbial sailor...are you prepared to hear the same words come out of your son's mouth?
2006-07-27 08:46:35 · answer #3 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your house and your child...make it clear there is to be no smoking in the house or near the child, and to please watch her language if he's of an age where he's talking or starting to talk...
Sounds like it would be an awkward arrangement, but people have live-in nannies for children so that's kind of what this is. If her values and views on child raising are similar to yours, there should be no problem...the issue would come if she was teaching him things you didn't approve of or punishing him in ways you didn't approve.
Is there no way she could live nearby and keep him when you are working but have her own place? That would be a more ideal situation.
2006-07-27 08:49:26 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you don't want to expose foul language to your child and allow him to inhale smoke( which is pretty bad for him) i would say yes, this isn't the greatest arrangement. Try hiring a babysitter who'll work for cheap, 12-14 year olds will take any kind of money they can rack up, even if it's a dollar an hour.
2006-07-27 08:45:47 · answer #5 · answered by Disney♥♥Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You territorial instincts will kick in, especially if she has different views on how to raise a child. If it will help you and you know she wouldn't harm or purposefully teach your child bad habits, try it out. Let her know that you will all give it a trial run to be sure it is whats best for everyone involved. Be sure to keep your cool but keep open communication if you disagree with her, after all, she is your husbands mother. Good luck
2006-07-27 08:48:38 · answer #6 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to ask your mother in law to do you such a big favor, you had better be prepared to overlook her bad habits. Maybe you could ask her to just smoke outside.
It's up to you. Do you want your son to be cared for by family or by strangers?
Did she do such a terrible job of raising your husband?
2006-07-27 08:47:28 · answer #7 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not enough info.
Why does your husband need someone to care for him?
It's his care, it's his mother. Let him decide.
No smoking in the house. No exceptions.
2006-07-27 08:48:33 · answer #8 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably right..... I know that my mother took care of my son while I worked and it caused many problems in our relationship... If you aren't comfortable with the idea you need to let your husband know....
2006-07-27 08:46:09 · answer #9 · answered by ~Crystal~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your not wrong with this you have your right to question that move because she will be living in Your house. I would suggest that you speak with your husband and address your concern with this possible move. I can be helpful ig she agree's to whatever term that you might have.
I wish you the best with this..
2006-07-27 08:45:41 · answer #10 · answered by brneyes7190 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋