I feel like drinking or suicide and people are telling me to join the church. I don't feel welcome there?

Question

I'm a struggling recovering alcoholic that's overwhelmed by a broken heart, never ending lonliness, huge money problems and some health problems.

I've been feeling TERRIBLE lately, especially because I'm just so lonely have no one to talk to. (People who offer to 'be my friend' online are a joke btw) .

I think about drinking and suicide constantly. In 3 years I have not made a single friend in AA (or outside AA). My girlfriend left me a year ago and I'm sure alot of people don't like me because of what she told them.

I have given myself until Saturday night for someone to come into my life. I'm going to go to AA meeting as usual, but if I leave alone from the Saturday meeting again, I plan to go home and hang myself.

People always are saying 'join the church'. I've been to church a bunch of times, not a soul there talked to me

Based on the answers I'm getting, suicide seems more and more like the best option.

No I cannot afford therapy or healthcare of any kind. Last time I was locked up in a mental institution I was sued later for $11,000.00

I own a home. The state now expects me to sell that if I want healthcare services of any kind from them. Of course it's free to illegal aliens who have never paid a dime in taxes in their entire lives.

I'll leave my suicide note here on Saturday night.

Answer 1

How you present yourself to the world is how they react to you...
Did you ever feel envious of the confident guy that walks up and talks to everybody...introduces himself and shake hands?
That could be you!
Where ever you are, AA, church, coffee shop...start a conversation, introduce yourself, ask questions, ex."Are you new here? or "I've noticed you've been coming here as long as I have."...invite people over to play cards or a cookout (have everybody bring something)
As you make new friends they will invite you.
Start smiling and try to have a better outlook about your life(even if you don't feel like it)...get out in the sunshine everyday, even better if you go for a walk in the sunshine.
If you are allowed, get a dog, (best from a pound or shelter, already trained, house broken, etc), it will change your life.

If you would like to chat: [e-mail]

Answer 2

Firstly, you have told me your plan for Saturday night, AHA foiled again!!!!! The church is not always the answer, there is no band-aid for your condition apart from time and you have to TAKE the time. I think sometimes people hide behind religion and think having faith in some GOD is the answer. You must have some belief in you.
Q1. Are you still drinking whilst going to AA?
Q2. Do you want help?
Q3. Are any friends you have just friends or are they drinking buddies?
Q4. Did your partner leave becuase of the alcohol problem??
I hate to sound so clinical. Have you seen a Doctor/AA partner for depression, take some responsibilty, easy for me to say you think.
Don't expect miracles, the way that people react to you, it comes down to the way you are with them, it's human nature.
I'm not here to solve your problems, you have to do that yourself with help from where ever you can get it and for Petes sake, don't be afraid to ask and also receive knockbacks, a wait, a no. Ask help from GPs, the Hospital, family and close friends will find it harder to be of true help, I think but it's up to you to make the move, the fact you are going to AA is a HUGE HUGE thing.
I am not a medical person, I'm just going from PLENTY personal experience, not just mine, family and friends too. I've lost a few friends now through D and D, your not a friend of mine as such, because I only know you from a few words but that doesn't mean your not a good person.
I know I have come back to you on here but please realise that I cannot be around for you 24hrs a day. I know how important it is to have someone to talk to. I'll help when I can. I have my own family and an other on the way. How is your family???
Best wishes and all the hope for you I can muster, get your health sorted!!!!!!!!!!
MTM65

Answer 3

First of all - don't start drinking again - you're doing great and need to stay focused - getting drunk every night will not solve your problems or make you feel any better.

Second - killing yourself is not the answer either. Life is hard and it sucks a lot, but not matter how many problems you are facing try to remember that there are people in other places suffering a lot more than you are. You aren't dying of Aids in Africa. You aren't living in a card board box on the street begging for food and shelter.

There are good things in your life that you just can't see because the storm clouds that have gathered in your world are so dark and looming that they are the only thing your eyes can focus on, but remember that even when it's raining - the sun is still shining on the other side of the clouds. I know that sounds corny, but it's true.

Church has never been the answer for me. I never felt really accepted by either the church or my dad's very Christian family so I found god on my own terms. I will never again belong to another religious organization because their agenda is not to help those in need - they only want everyone to be just like them so they can feel justified in their actions.

God is all around you and god does what is best for us - even if what is best for us is to suffer through pain, sorrow and loss. If we did not have bad things happen to us we would never appreciate the life we have been given to live. You need to look at this depression as if it is an evil thing to be vanquished because that is really what it is - not a test exactly - just a challenge for you to face so that you can rise to the occasion and take control of your life.

If you don't like where you are and are having trouble meeting people - move to a new place and start fresh. I know that might be a hard thing to accomplish if you are having money troubles, but do what you can to get away from where you are right now. Try to maintain a positive attitude and KNOW that things will get better eventually. If you KNOW things will get better - they will. If you KNOW something amazing and good will happen - it will. Sometimes, though, you just have to be a little patient with life.

Do whatever you can to stay strong and positive and if you need more help please call someone who can help you.

1-800-784-2433
National Hopeline Network

1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Remember - it's never as bad as you think.

Answer 4

Look, life gets real hard sometimes...everybody is struggling just like you so really, you're not that alone. The reason you may not be able to connect with anyone is because you may present yourself as a person who doesn't want to be bothered. Or maybe they are somewhat 'afraid' of talking with you because of the suicide thing...no one wants to say the wrong thing to someone who is on edge. And where there's one church that's cold to you, there could be another one that isn't. Don't let just one bunch of cold Christians speak for all. Maybe after the service once everyone has left, go to the pastor or a deacon and tell them that you need some help. Pastors are not clairvoyants who can pick you from a crowd and know what's in your mind; you have to speak up. And don't let one woman leaving you get you down. There's over 6 billion people in this world to get to know. And really, do you think having a bunch of friends in AA is a good idea? They all have the same problem as you so...think about it. And money problems can ALWAYS be fixed...if you've got bad credit, get some debt counseling..need a better job, start with a temp agency who will find you something better according to your skills...need spending money, cut out some useless things like cable tv or something. God made us too strong to give up over stuff like this...you'll be alright.

Answer 5

All I can tell you is what a friend of mine used to say about suicide:

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

Sage advise, if you ask me. I would listen to it and seek help, if not at Church, with a qualified therapist.

If you 'end it,' there will never be a Miss-right for you. Believe me, she is worth waiting for, even if it is longer than Saturday. (Are you looking for her in the right places? Change your action plan; look her in a Church social, perhaps.)

Don't despair, but believe and find the courage to leave the bottle behind you and go forward because we cannot change the past.

Good luck!

H

Addendum: If you end it you destroy an irreplaceable link in the chain of life. You are unique. There will never be another you. Face your problems head-on. File bankruptcy. Find a good attorney. Turn your life around. Only you can do that, don't put that on other people. I still think Miss Right is still out there for you and she is worth waiting for--even beyond this Saturday night.

Best of luck!

H

Answer 6

Go check yourself into a hospital. I'm not joking at all - just go do it. Don't worry about what people think. You are suffering from what sounds like a really bad depression. It isn't your fault and there's nothing that you can do right now to fix yourself but there are medicines and therapies that can make your life a lot better.

Afterwards try joining a martial arts or yoga class. Physical activity will make you feel better and these classes will put you around different people and situations and that will help you a lot. Oh and about the church thing - if you'd like to try it, look for an evangelical non-denominational church that is open to everybody. Call the pastor and talk to him or her about your problems. Pastors and priests are trained in helping people go through problems just like yours.

Answer 7

Who said life was easy? The only thing every human being is guaranteed is suffering. Some have a lot of suffering and also the ability to cope. Some haverelatively little suffering and still cannot cope.

When life gives you lemons make lemonade. When the going gets tough the tough get going. Symapathy is bad. Don'ttake sympathy. You will only feel sorry for yourself and make it worse. Take the bull by the horns and fight on.

Life is full of ups and downs. NOTHING is permament. Neither joy, nor sorrow.

May I recommend some simple observation of the natural breath. Go to www.dhamma.org and search for the nearest Vipassana centre.

I believe suicide offers no escape. No religion approves of suicide. It is a terrible way to leave this life. The suicidal spirit they say remains on the fringes - never achieving rest.

Good Luck. God Bless.

Answer 8

Maybe you went to the wrong church.Try something else,anything else.You know you are quite funny.I was reading your other questions and answers.Did you ever consider writing?I answered one of your other questions.I feel really bad and helpless in a way.I would do anything to help.My step father was recovering alcoholic before he slipped for the last time and he passed away.Without him I don't know where I would be today.Even though I had a real father,he was the only one that was there for me.To this day I love him dearly.Just because your a recovering alcoholic and your old girlfriend does not want to go out anymore mean you have to end your life.You have a chance to start all over,Find a new girl, a new anything you want.That hole in your heart will only be able to hold more love for the next person who comes into it.Stick around you'll see that I am right.Good Luck!

Answer 9

Be sure to understand that your soul is in danger.
I think you should consult a doctor to see if your body's chemical balance is alright. Many times an imbalance can cause a person to become depressed and/or confused.

As far as the "Church" goes, it depends which church you go to.
I am a Catholic and we have different ministries that help the ill.
Ask them to pray with you and for you.
I will pray for you as well.
Its ok to feel lonely, because the world is just looking out for itself.
But remember, God gave us free will and that Christ is always there knocking, trying to open your heart. Just ask Him and He will enter.

Alcoholism is demonic and will destroy you. There is a battle going on for your soul, and without the Church, you cannot fight this battle and win.
You are reaching out online, try to reach out to your neighbor(all of those people around you that come into contact with you).
What you said is like a prayer, I'm sure God heard it and will answer. Pray more and don't stop praying.
The rest is up to you.

Answer 10

Tough times, to be sure. I'm not sure that you really can't make friends, because when I feel lonely, I overstate those things to myself. But if loneliness and money problems are your only problems, I would have to say you are in better shape than most of the humans on this planet. People live horrible lives, riddled by disease and famine. Slavery still exists in the world. If you really feel like checking out, I would advise you to do some good or have some fun first. Keep the end in mind, and you can have the comfort to live in the now. Now does not mean "ex-girlfriend" or "try not to get drunk." Now is 6 billion naked monkeys roaming around this ball of dirt, and you have complete freedom. Be creative.