What to do when your pet dies suddenly?

Question

I've only had my cat for a year but it has grown into my family it was my sons favorite. He went to bed everynite with her. She was expecting her first litter any day now. Yesterday I couldn't find her inside so I went outside (she stays inside) I found her hiding and when I got her out she was bleeding out her neck. The vet said a large dog had attacked her she was in shock her babies died and later her being partly brain dead I put her to sleep. I'm so sad and my son who is 3 doesn't understand why is cat is coming home, please help with advice.

Answer 1

I'm sorry about your cat.
I read something once about a child's reaction to his pet's death. Don't know whether it would comfort your son or not. Unfortunately the article is at home. It went something like this:

The vet who wrote the article was trying to comfort a family who had to put their dog to sleep. The child said, "I know why animals don't live as long as people. We are all put on the earth to learn to love and make others happy. Animals are born knowing how to do that, so they don't have to stay here as long."

I hope that helps.

Answer 2

You have my sympathies.

First, and most important, do not replace the cat right away. Doing so makes pets seem interchangeable to a young child and isn't necessarily healthy.

Instead, try telling your son that the cat died. You need to be clear but compassionate about this. It's ok to explain that it's sad and expect some frustration / anger / denial from your son, they are normal stages of grief. When your son reaches the point of accepting that the cat will not come back, then you might consider getting another.

Also, when you're explaining about the cat's death, try to phrase it in terms that your son will be able to cope with, along the lines of "She was too hurt and the vet couldn't help her." Don't go into too much detail that will only confuse him.

Answer 3

Awwww...that is so sad. I am very sorry to hear about that. 3 is a little young to understand death of any sort. A cat we had when my son was 6, was hit by a car. We explained to him that Smokie went to kitty cat heaven. We had her cremated, and put her ashes in a little box and brought her home where she belonged. Having her in the house like that made a world of difference. About 3 months later, we paid a visit to the local animal shelter and got another kitten. After that experience, all our cats have been indoor kitties ever since. It's a dangerous world out there for little critters. We have 3 adult cats, all fixed and de-clawed, and they live happily forever inside.

Answer 4

I had a cat I had adopted and had for less than a year. Murphy was absolutly the best. Some teenage boys trying to be "cool" picked him up, snapped his neck, and tossed him in the field across the street from my house. I cried and cried, I loved him so much. It's even harder when you blame yourself for letting them outside, as then it could have been prevented. There is no way to make the pain any less or the guilt go away. It's something that you will just have to learn to process and deal with it. I would love to tell you how, but everyone has their own way. After some time has passed, you might consider another cat and love that one for them both.

Answer 5

i have a 3 and 5 year old so i understand what you're saying.

the cat might have bolted out the door when someone opened it to go have her kittens. they prefer to be alone and somewhere quiet and dark. mine just happened to have her's under a blanket that my stepdaughter was using at the time. the kittens are 5 weeks old now, but there is only one left. one of them died at almost 4 weeks, one died about 4 days later and the 3rd died last friday. my kids wanted to know why the kittens weren't coming home. i told them that they were sick and died. they seemed to understand. i'm sure if you tell your child he will be obviously upset, but they adjust well to things like that. better than adults do anyway. if you are just brief with what had happened and tell him that it's ok to be sad, i'm sure he'll understand. don't go into a great deal of detail, just something like kitty got outside somehow and was hurt by a dog really bad...something along those lines. you don't want to make him hate dogs, or any other animal, but just enough so that he can understand to the best of his ability why his favorite pet isn't there anymore. i know it seems like the hardest to do....but i think that kids understand more than what we think that they do. he'll remember the cat, and what you told him happened. just don't make something up only for him to find out what really happend down the road. be as honest with him as you can, without completely telling him exactly everything that happend. i think that he has some idea, it will be easier for him to deal with.

i'm so sorry for your loss, and i hope this helps you out.

Answer 6

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. My family lost our german shepard almost a year ago, and although seveal people don't understand, he was more than just our pet, he was family.
(And the same goes for you and your family with your cat, and any animal lover who owns a pet.) My kids were very attached to our dog, and his death was also very sudden. My oldest son was 10, so when I picked him up from school I told him what had happened. We held each other and cried our eyes out together.
My daughter was 1, so she was very young. I took her to the library and told the librarian what kind of book we needed. She helped us find one, and I read it to my daughter. Then I explained to my daughter that what happened to the dog in the story was much like what happened to our dog. And just like the family in the story, our family is very sad. But just like the family in the story, as time goes on our family's loss will become easier to deal with, and maybe someday we will have a new pet to love.
My 1 year old really seemed to understand this, even though people I talked to told me she would be too young to understand.
Our family grieved just like we grieve over the loss of every family member we have lost. And a few months later, we adopted a wonderful kitten who has helped our family get through our loss as well.

Getting a new pet is a great idea, but don't try to get one that looks idenical to the one you just lost. Kids aren't dumb, they know this isn't the same pet the had. Not to mention you don't want to confuse your children either. It's ideal if you can include your kids in picking out a new pet if you can.

With your 3 year old, I would suggest going to the library, too. The librarian can help you pick out a book that would be perfect for him. And then if you can incorporate what your family is going through with what happened in the story it'll help your son understand what's going on more.

Good luck, and again, I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

I don't have kids, but I was just told by a friend that 3 year old's are not old enough to understand the permenance of death. Her young dog just had to be euthanized, and her son is still talking about her two weeks later. It takes them, and adults, a while to get out of the routine of feeding, walking, etc. Just talk to your son about "doggie heaven" or whatever you believe in, and get some books especially made for teaching kids about death. My friend did this and it has really helped. Give him time to grieve, and don't get a new pet too soon. Talk to your pediatrician if you are really worried about him. Good Luck! Sorry for your loss!

Answer 8

First of all I am sooo sorry that this happened to your cat. I have a cat myself and she is not a animal but a member of our family. The kids absolutly adore her. Everyday she is a big and special part of their lives. I have always talked to my kids about God and heaven. They understand that there is a heaven for people and for animals too. They realize that heaven is a very special thing and a gift to anyone that gets to go there. I reassure them that God truly loves Kitty and that she will be very happy in heaven. I tell my kids that one day when it is are turn to go to heaven that the kitty will be waiting there for them. Emphazing too much on the negative doesn't give them the feeling of letting go. Just be brief and they will understand. If you are strong then they will be too. Your kitty will always be remembered and that is something they will never lose.

Answer 9

I am so terribly sorry. What a dreadful way to lose a beloved pet. A Vet said something enormously comforting to me when I went through losing a pet. he said 'You know it's interesting. People can always tell me about when they got their pet and always remember every detail of their death but what they forget is that their pet was loved and cared for every day of it's life, and so many animals aren't that lucky'. I hope that talking to your little boy about how kind he was to her and how much fun they had together will help.

Answer 10

get another cat that always helps say the old cat changed into a new one but it is still the same one just for right now so he is not sad