Previous Boyfriend!!!!?

Question

I have a girlfriend with whom I am going out for 10 months. We come from different cultures and she is European. She had a boyfriend before with whom she had sex before.Although she says that they were not that close and she didn't like it. She says that now its better and nice. and she loves me very much.Sometimes I feel very bad about her having sex before.At that time nothing really works with me. She is my first girlfriend and she is the girl I had sex for the first time. When I think that nobody forgets the first time. And i feel furstrated that she will never forget that. We both love each other very much. But this thing is getting bad. when I ask her about past details now she refuses to tell and says that she feels bad about that.So what I should do now to make it better and make myself better? With her previous boyfriend they even had sex in car a few times.Well if you are not close with someone how can you do that?

Answer 1

i have a good boyfriend i've been with for a year and a half, and he's sleep with like 7 girls before i got with him and he was my first. so, you eventually get over it. i mean, if she liked him she'd be with him, you know? she likes you and thats why she's with you. Sure she might remeber her first time, but she will be wishing it was with you not him.

Answer 2

First I want you to sit down and take a nice deep breath. Did you do it? Okay, one more time and hold it. Now count back from 10 with that breath. I can understand what you are going through, but at the same time I feel that you are putting far too much stress on yourself for you lack of sexual experience and far too much stress on your girlfriend for her previous sexual experiences. The simple truth is that you are not going to find many virgins out there any more, and though you may not like that it certainly is not something to condemn any one about.
Also, everyone has a past. It is just the plain and simple truth. And everyone's past is different. It is our past experiences that make us the people we are today, so be thankful for your past and for girlfriends past because it has help mold her into the person that you say that you love today. Don't get me wrong I am not telling you to completely ignore the past all together, there are plenty of things you can and should learn from it, but if you are in a relationship and you want it to work you need to be relax and communicate. When something about your or her past is upsetting to the other, sit down and talk about it calmly and rationally (that is don't try to talk about it when you are upset or agitated, even if the cause of those negative emotions are not coming form your partner). Then forgive and let your lives go on together. Notice I didn't say forgive and forget, because as I previously said we should learn from our past not forget it.

One more thing I feel the need to point out. A woman’s first time is completely different from a man's. For a man it is new yet amazing and wonderful (in most cases). Yet for a woman, her first time is usually painful and not all that exhilarating. So if she says it was her first time with that previous boyfriend (and you believe her) then she was probably being truthful when she said it wasn't that great. Last but not least you need to stop holding yourself to other people's standards (excepting those which come from the people who love and care for you hold you by) and start living by your own. Overall I guess what I am getting at is be yourself, have fun, and let the small stuff go (and believe me this is small potatoes). Have a good one.

Answer 3

you need to get over it, you are going to make her upset by bringing this up. Obviously the first guy wasn't all the great or she would still be with him. And asking about details about how they did it so that you can be better? screw that, there are many video's out there and porn movies you can watch for ideas that will make it 100 times better then her last boy friend and they will be the furthest thing from her mind once you blow hers!! There is more to a relationship then outrageous sex but it sure is a plus. Get your own style, don't ask about how her last boy friend did it-do you want her to miss it and go back?

Answer 4

Get over her past sex life, unless you just can't deal with the fact that she's not your first, in which case, get over her. She can't change it even if she wanted to, and she shouldn't be blamed for it. Stop asking her questions about it. It's her personal business which maybe she doesn't care to even think about as much as you're making her think about it and it's only putting a wedge between you and allowing room for unnecessary resentment between you. Make up your mind and stop pointing fingers at her. Having sex before she came into your life is not a crime or a direct offense against you.

Answer 5

You must be really young, this is why it is never a good idea to discuss prior relationships. You need to stop focusing on your girlfriend's ex and more about your relationship and building on it. You can't change the past and she's with you. No wonder she won't tell you anything, you harp on the past and you are wasting precious time you could be having fun with her.

Get over it, move on, if you can't handle it you are going to lose her because she's going to get tired of your nagging.

Get some counseling if you can't get over this, you are beating a dead horse and have to ask yourself why you are obsessing over this? Life is too short and you are missing out on a lot dwelling on stupid things.

Answer 6

people have sex for many different reasons and unfortuneatly some do it to feel wanted.Try not to think about the past boyfriend or you will ruin what you have now.The past is gone and you can't do anything about it,look towards the future and make it the best you can.If you really love her let the past go!

Answer 7

Yea, you need to get over it. It's what happened in her past, nothing is going to change it. We seriously don't forget our firsts that much either, but who cares? He's gone, and you have her now. Treat her well and maybe she'll never forget you and never want to leave you.

Answer 8

It's not important to her. My husband doesn't dwell on the fact that I've had sex with my ex fiance. She is having sex with you and loves you and you shouldn't be jealous of her other boyfriends, etc. Jealousy will tear you apart.

Answer 9

Believe me things like that do happen--I can't say why they just do. Try to just relax and if you are happy with her and enjoy the sex for goodness sake quit talking about what happened before--then you will be happy!!!!!

Answer 10

Let it go theres nothing you can do to change the past. Stop asking her for details you will drive her away.