The Groom waited until a week after the invitations were sent out and decided he wasn't ready (after a 3 year engagement) . Gifts from showers have been opened, gifts for the wedding being received daily. What should the Bride do with gifts already received. What's the best way to get her money back for services already paid for? How should they divide what's already opened if it's OVER and they don't plan on working things out or postponing the wedding?
2006-07-27 07:39:35 · 33 answers · asked by uncommonthreads72 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
sell them
2006-07-27 07:41:41 · answer #1 · answered by lostroad94 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would send a card to all the people who sent the gifts, and ask for how they would like they gifts sent back, or what would they like to do because due to what happen
9 times out of ten they will feel bad for what happen and they will say keep them- quilt of your back
the was to be bride should keep the things it isn't her who made that call to cancel the wedding
and for wedding expenses already paid - i would call explain what happen and see what can be done "to whom ever you paid, they are use to it i am sure"-if you cant get the money back - the was to be groom should help cover the cost-sometimes in life when you make decisions as big as this there are consequences and you have to take care of them "that is to the was to be groom"
2006-07-27 07:49:48 · answer #2 · answered by Soldier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is no wedding, the proper thing to do is return the gifts. As far as getting money back for services already paid for, they (probably the bride) should contact the individuals that money has been given to and see if any of it is refundable.
She should be thankful that he decided this before the wedding instead of a week or month after the ceremony, or even worse, leaving her at the alter.
Good luck!!!
2006-07-27 07:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by happyfamily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gifts that were meant as a wedding present should be returned to the person who sent the gift. Shower gifts should also be returned that are not opened or used. As for services already paid for, you will have to take that up with each one of the businesses. Some will only return a percentage of what you've paid and others will not. It will vary greatly. My condolences.
2006-07-27 07:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALL the gifts absolutely must be returned to the givers in the case of a cancelled wedding. That is standard etiquette and it would be extremely rude to keep the gifts. If you have already used the gifts, you must buy a replacement of the exact item to return to the gift giver.
As for getting money back from the wedding vendors, you have to check your contracts to see if you are due money back or have any recourse to get your deposits back.
Also see here to learn how to properly cancel the wedding:
http://www.crane.com/etiquette.aspx?C=WeddingEtiquette&S=Postponement_Cancellation
Sorry to hear this.
2006-07-27 09:10:11 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The gifts should be returned to the people who gave them. I very seriously doubt the bride will be able to get her money back. Wedding contractors aren't stupid and the contracts are written in their favor in case of a cancellation. Seems to me that if the groom is the one who bolted the bride should keep what's open, although, all the gifts should be given back. It's really tacky to keep them considering there is no wedding.
2006-07-27 08:04:56 · answer #6 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The gifts, opened or unopened must be returned as soon as possible.....That is a must.
If I were you I would not even think of dividing any return money you are able to get for services, etc. YOU are the one that has to return things. You are the one that will have to call and beg for your money back or at least part of your money back.
Here is a big one for you......You have to notify everyone there is no longer a wedding.
What he did was disrespectful of you and everyone involved. He had to have been aware before he broke if off that he was not going to marry you. I wouldn't lower myself to ask him for any help.
I would beg and do everything possible to get my money returned on the services you paid for. You are still going to be out money and suffer the mental emotions from what he has done to you.
Get it over with and get on with your life. Three years engagement and the idiot didn't know? BULL, and he probably cheated on you too. DO NOT give him one cent of the money you are able to recoup. NOT one penney. You complete all of the above and whatever money you do get returned to you, go on a vacation and get away for a few days. You will need it..........
2006-07-27 07:51:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call everyone and offer to return the but I imagine most of them will be sympathetic to your situation and decline. Even if its already open let them know that, even though I am sure they assume they are, and make the offer and most gracious people will tell you to keep it. When it comes to dividing it. If you can get your former fiance to call his side of the family and friends I would say you keep what your side says to keep and return what they ask and let him do the same. He'll probably be too lazy to do it but you never know. If he doesn't contribute to the calling then I would tell him you returned them all and don't give him anything.
A little unsolicited advise. I know you are probably really hurt and mad but in the long run he did you a favor by ending things before you got married. As much as it may hurt now divorce is a lot worse. Good luck to you!!
2006-07-27 08:03:33 · answer #8 · answered by amyclay350 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to send the gifts back with a short note of explanation and thanks. You don't divide anything you have received, you return it all. About deposits and stuff you've paid for, that needs to be negotiated with the guy. I'm SO sorry you are having to go through this, and I honestly don't intend this to be mean at all - but didn't you know that being engaged for so long was a giant red flag? You'll be better off without him, and you'll see that once time heals your wounds.
2006-07-27 09:16:46 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
send back any gifts arriving now. Contact the people who gave shower gifts to get them returned. As for the services already paid for. I am assuming you mean things pretaining to the actual wedding day. If deposits have been paid for things then she might have to forget about getting the deposit back. Nothing already opened should be kept by either person but returned to the "giver"
2006-07-27 07:45:47 · answer #10 · answered by srymybad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do return the gifts with note explaning about it was the groom.
There are bridal books that give "traditional" costs splits. For instance, in the book I saw the groom pays for the flowers up by the altar. Have the groom choose one of those books and use the list.
2006-07-27 07:44:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋