I do not understand my friend... She has a bf... One min she comes to me and cry and tell all this bad things about the bf... Things so bad that i think it is over between them... All i do is lissen and i alway have a open door. 30 min later she say she can not live with out him and that she love him... i thinked that it was PMS.. But this is going on now for a month... I am sick of it and do not know what to do. Yes i can send her on her way, but i do not want to loos a friend that i had for 5 years.. What do i do....
2006-07-27 07:38:32 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to be straight forward with her without being mean about it. Tell her that her head needs to tell her heart thats shes better off without this guy and if shes not going to listen or take your advice then you just don't want to hear about it anymore. People who don't learn from their pasts are damned to repeat them.
2006-07-27 07:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a friend in the very same predicament.. she loves her guy so much, but all he has brought to her is pain and heartache. i would say, be there for her if u can, give her advice as well as u can, and if it gets too frustrating, don't walk away from her but let her know that she deserves a growing, healthy relationship, not something stagnant and unhappy. just cuz u love someone doesn't automatically mean it'll work out; even if they love u back, it could be bad timing, it could be different values, different ways of thinking.... u can't FORCE a good relationship. u have to work at it, but if it's so hard u are destroying ur mental and physical health, she needs to get outta there. let her know u are there for her, but she seems to keep having the same problems and if she doesnt' want to leave him, there's nothing u can do. try to be patient, don't leave someone when she is most in need. but it's going to be hard.... patience is a virtue, and u will be rewarded if u are a strong person people can depend on. hopefully she will learn that she deserves to find someone who makes her happy and loved and safe and secure.
2006-07-27 14:45:58 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually went through the exact same thing as your friend for 2 years. Unlike your friend he and I wern't dating. We had a "relationship" for almost 2 1/2 years. He was abusive to me hit me a lot. He would slap my behind so hard it would bring tears to my eyes. He treated me horribly and I was for some reason still hanging around. I felt that he was my only opportunity at love. He lied to me and hurt me so much over the time that we knew each other. I was traped by my own fears and insecurities and this may be what is happening to your friend. I don't know if this is the kind of thing she's going through, but you should remain supportive of her. Right now she needs as many friends as she can get. Actually you might suggest to her that she get some distance from him. Not see him as often just to give herself some time to sort out her feelings for him and see if she still wants to pursue the relationship. I truely wish I could give you some advise from personal experience, but I got out of the relationship because I started dating someone the guy hated and waited 2 days to tell him. We argued and I haven't seen him since, and though I was hurt at the time I have never been happier with him out of my life. Make sure this girl knows that you're there to help her, and be patient with her things will work themselves out. Maybe not as soon as you want but they will work out for her and he can be back to the girl you knew.
2006-07-27 15:09:36 · answer #3 · answered by Mistress Hazard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is ur true frnd then whatever u say she will understand may b she may take time to understand but sooner or later she will under stand....If u will send her on her way 4 her good then even if u lose her u'll b satisfied that u showed her the right path..
Dnt worry god is there..if that guy is wrong 4 her then tell her or even if u think that she doesnt have the capablity to continue thitionship tell her right now so that she will know that where she stands..help her man...help her
2006-07-27 14:47:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Still be her friend,friends last a lifetime.Just be glad it's not you!!!Also you never know you might need her as a shoulder to cry on one day(hopefully not).I had a sister that went through that and she finally saw him for what he really was.If that man is treating her wrong one day she will wake up and you will still be there and he wont.I know you are probably tired of it but keep your door open, a friend in need is a friend indeed.Good luck and all you can do is be there for her as I'm sure she will be for you.
2006-07-27 14:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by redanimalmuppet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're friends already, right? Friends always tell friends exactly how it is...so tell her that you really do care about her as a friend but she has to make the decision if she wants to be miserable or not. There is ony so much you can tell a person, especially when it is repetative. She will appreciate it.
2006-07-27 14:43:15 · answer #6 · answered by Renee25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard for someone to let go of a person when that feels like their life but tell her that she needs to search in her soul on what she wants with this guy and tell her you will always be their for her no matter what . If she listens and searchs her thoughts mind and soul she will know what she wants and needs to do.
2006-07-27 14:43:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that your there for her always but that she needs to really think about where her relationship with this guy is going cause its doing your head in worrying about her just as bad as its doing her head in!!
word it close to that so it makes it sound more like your worried about her then sick of hearing bout it and see what happens..
its worth a try anyway..
Good luck
2006-07-27 14:43:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with her, yes still be a good friend to her but tell her "look you know i am your friend but if he makes your emotions go crazy like this to where you don't even want to be with him, and i'm afraid it's going to get bad to where you get hurt"
2006-07-27 15:00:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its PMSing then LET IT GO.
i would give her some guy advice. she obviously doesnt know much about guys.
if they say something nice then she charges to be with them again. thats a horrible habit but you can fix it.
dont be blunt all at once-and dont say it if shes sobbing her heart out. thats cruel.
just keep listening and say what you think and try to work something out
2006-07-27 14:43:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋