Why is it...?

Question

My 2 year old doesn't listen to me at all. I can repeat myself ten times, pop his hand, smack his butt, nothing. My husband can walk in and raise his voice and automatically my son listens. What am I doing wrong? Another thing is when I come around all I hear from whomever's keeping him is "he wasn't doing this until you showed up". I promise everyone says this. What's the deal?

Grow some balls? Okay, I don't placate to my son, LADY. I use a "threatening" tone with him. I get down to his level-shouldn't your mother be doing the same for you?

Answer 1

You must be the primary care-giver...so the child has ceased to listen to you...and everyone else are just ships passing in the night. I guess the trick is to get down on their level, look at them calmly, repeat your command...and if they don't do it...then you have to give the child a two minute "time-out." Be consistent, stick to your guns, and don't relent. Do not engage the child in conversation while doing this....be firm and steady. You do this a few times and the child will listen to you. You are backing up your word. It's worth the trouble.

Answer 2

You may "pop" his hand, but it is clear to your son that you have no intention or have no ability to do him any real harm. Some kids even laugh after their mothers spank them. So he simply has no fear of you. This wouldn't be bad if he were the type of child who was hurt by your mere disappointment, but that is also not the case. Another fact is that once you are lenient on them, even if you become stern it is harder for them to learn that fear of you. It is always the best to start off strict and then ease back.

My child is almost six and has only gotten 2 spankings in his life, but that was enough to cause him to respect when I raise my voice or look at him a certain way. This can also be achieved without physical contact but it has to be harsh and quick, like taking his favorite toy from him, or not allowing him to watch his favorite tv show for a week. Do it immediately, show NO remorse, and never take back what you've done. Let him know that it was his actions that caused it not yours.

Good luck on that...it won't be easy now.

Answer 3

My son is the EXACT same way and he's 2...sometimes I feel like I'm talking to brick wall. It isn't about balls...what a b*tch I'm sure her kids are very well adjusted! I haven't gotten any sure fire winners here but this is what I do with him-when he gets all fired up I have found that instead of instantly going into super stress kill the 2 year old mode I divert his attention to something else if possible. The corner has worked ok lately-he's still angry but when his time is up I'm not yelling or chastising and I think it freaks him out and he stops because he thinks I must have forgotten or something..i don't know but it works sometimes. Also he has things he likes like his stupid binky- i know i'm a terrible mother for him still having a pacifer-but I threaten ONE time to take it away if he doesn't shape up and he will sometimes...like i said none of this is sure fire and my husband still is better at getting him to listen...but hey whatever works...and I'm not a fan of treating my kids like crap so I try to do things in an honest and respectful way...and believe it or not my daughter who is 7 is extremely respectful and polite and all her teachers have told me this..so the 2 year old might be a terror but my daughter was and because of my way of parenting she is fantastic! I'm sure she had something to do with it too...i'm sorry for rambling! Good luck with him-I seriously feel ya on this one!

Answer 4

Mean what you say! There is a point somewhere where he began to feel somehow that he didn't have to listen to you. Now it is time to take back the control. If you say if you do that again you are going to get a time out....Then you better be ready to follow through. The same that way everytime. He will being to realize that you are the parent.
Remeber that you are the parent and he is a 2 year old boy!
He is 2 and a BOY. God sent his here to test you. :-p

Answer 5

it's the fact that your mommy, and he knows you are going to be the one that he can get away with things. Dad is the one to punish, and he's scary because he has a louder voice. And with everyone else they are someone he's not with them all the time so he doesn't knwo what they will do. So you need to put your foot down. Everytime he doesn't listen to you take one of his favorite toys away, and tell him he can have it back when he's good. And also you need to have a specified area with nothing in it for time outs, because you can't send them to their room because they have toys to play with and a place to lay down if nothing else, and theres always something to do...with an empty designated he will have nothing to do except think and wonder why hes there, it may seem mean but he will eventually get it. If you start to punish him in the small way that he notices eventually things will improve, but be patient, it will take time

hope this helps, because it worked for me

Answer 6

Honey, you are not alone. My oldest daughter does the same thing. She is 6 now and still does it. I know what the deal is. Mommy is supposed to be their special friend, the person that will protect them and love them, and treat them like they are special. It is an attention thing. My daughter spends a lot of weekends with my mom, and when I show up, she starts acting up. She doesn't want grandma to take her attention off her, to talk to me. I don't know why kids respond to males better then females when they are doing something wrong. I think they look at daddy/grandpa as the bad guy. What he says goes, mommies are a little more lacked when it comes to our kids, we have a bigger bond with our children and want them to be happy. I tend to let things slide, but my husband never does, I think that is was she responds to him a lot better.

** Your child is only 2 and this is how they all act, its when they get older you have to worry about it**

Answer 7

Our oldest son is autistic... high functioning and very manipulative. Since I'm "just his dad's girlfriend" he "doesn't have to listen" to me... "mom said so". So... I get down to his level, make him look me in the eyes and I very quietly yet in a tone that makes him know I mean business talk to him. Thankfully, his father backs me up and he knows he can't play the two of us off of one another like he does his mom and dad. I don't raise my voice to him at all. I also set consequences down and follow through with the punishments when necessary... and worse of all, I make him tell his dad why he got in trouble when he gets home.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Its totally normal, trust me. My 2 yo does the very same thing. R U around him all day? Think they get used to us and know what they can get by with. My kids listen to dad way better to and it because he isnt the main caregiver/disiplinarian so they arent sure what they can get away with with him. As far as other people, same there too. I always here that too. I will say watch out for _____as he/she always does_____. And ofcourse it never happens. Your kids are always different for other people. Its just one of those great mysteries of early childhood psychology!

Answer 9

when you talk to him, you need to get right in his face and down on his leval. Ive seen mothers so many times who do not do that, remain at thier height and use a sweet voice "no no mommy dosent like that. "
Grow some balls lady.

Answer 10

dear, i don't know what to tell u becaus i have a 2 year old who is the exact same way, he listen's to everyone but me it seems. hope things get better. good luck