How do you get a 6 year old to poop in the potty?

Question

my 6year old nephew will stay dry all day, but will not poop on the potty. They say they have tried m&m's, they'v taken away tv, video games etc. I've told when he does it he can spend the night with us, Id get him spider man undies. I've even just sat down with him and talked to him about how you are just supposed to do it and it is really unhealthy to do it in your pants, and gross. Any suggestions? (he has been to the pediatrition numerous times about it and they don't have any help for her, say it is all a control issue).

I agree with the comment he shouldn't have had the tv and things to start with... my child just lost all her toys because she can't keep her room clean... but I do think the parents may be part of the problem... they are not hard enough on him. I guess there is no easy way. I was hoping someone would have a suggestion we hadn't tried. The pediatrition has checked him for hyperactive bowl, has had a "talk" with him. And has offered suggestions, but they either havn't been tried to their fullest or didn't work.
He did talk to a counselor at school last year but did not help so far.
the peer pressure doesn't affect hime. They made fun of him at the daycare 2 years ago and doesn't care.
They make him clean himself up. They check him, but he does it. And it doesn't bother him to sit in it.
He did get a new sister almost 2 years ago, but I think it was a problem before that! Mine were bothe potty trained by 3!

Answer 1

I copied and pasted this from Babycenter.com....maybe it will help u...



How do you persuade a child to have a bowel movement on the toilet?
One of the main things to do is check the consistency of your child's stools. Most children who refuse to toilet (they'll have their bowel movements in their diapers, disposable training pants, or pants, but not in the toilet) have had problems with constipation. Make sure your child has soft, formed stools. Hard stools, large stools, or small pebbly stools are all signs of constipation, and the most common reason for stool withholding or "toileting refusal" is that the child has had one or more bowel movements that were painful or uncomfortable.

The main way to soften the consistency of a child's stools is through his diet, by getting him to eat more fiber and by monitoring his intake of dairy products. The easiest way to calculate the amount of dietary fiber your child is getting is to look it up on the nutritional information label on his food. A good rule of thumb is that children should eat enough grams of fiber to equal their age plus five (for example, a 4-year-old needs 9 grams of fiber each day). It's also best if the fiber is distributed equally among the three meals, rather than eaten all at once.

It can take weeks, sometimes months, for a child to get over having a painful bowel movement. Although I hear all the time that a child has accidents because he is angry or resentful, this is rarely the case. He has accidents because he holds back his painful stools until he can't hold them anymore.

Once your child is routinely having soft, formed bowel movements, keep track of when he has them to see if there is any pattern to them. If you can tell that it's about time for him to poop, you can encourage him to sit on the toilet.

I also recommend what I call toilet sits, encouraging your child to sit on the toilet several times each day, without any pressure to have a bowel movement. These toilet sits are more to get him accustomed to sitting on the toilet than they are to get him to use it. It's all right to have him do a dozen toilet sits each day without his ever having a bowel movement there. Your goal is to get him to learn to relax while sitting on the toilet.

Also, make certain that he can place his feet firmly on the floor, if he's on a potty chair, or on a step stool or two if he's on the regular toilet. Being able to plant his feet on the floor means that he can get on the potty chair or toilet easily, that he feels stable and secure when seated, and that he can push with his feet to give him leverage. All of these are important to independent toileting

Answer 2

A big "girl", J.P.? That would create even more problems. No, I'm sure it was just a typo. It was funny, though.

Anyway, if a 6-year-old is still not potty-trained, it may be something on the mental side rather than a control issue. Not necessarily abuse, but has there been a recent addition to the family like a baby brother or sister? He may have reverted in an act of jealousy and as a play for attention. I had a cousin who did that years ago; her little sister was born not long after she successfully finished potty training and then just started peeing and pooping her pants again. It eventually got worked out.

So it may or may not be a control issue. But you may want to look at your brother or sister's (didn't mention whose kid your nephew is) family and determine if there are some issues going on there.

Answer 3

Buy or make a rewards chart and every time he goes to the toilet, give him a star to put on his chart and at the end, give him a reward. I also think you need to have a very gentle chat with him about how other little boys and girls in his class might give him a hard time if his secret was to be found out.

Is he constipated or frightened of the toilet? I think you need to find out. If he's constripated, it might not be a care of not wanting to go to the toilet but rather it hurts and he tries to keep it in. And if he's somehow scared of the toilet then that is something you need to find out so you can help him face this fear. So, you do neeed to have a talk with him over why he does this.

Also, I don't think your paediatrician passing the buck is good enough. He should be offering support in the form of ideas and psychological and nutritional help. Someone needs to be more forceful with him about making him help you because this child is six, still young enough to solve this problem now because it becomes humiliating for him.

Answer 4

It is all a control issue. Everyone keeps making promises to this kid rather than disciplining him. He shouldn't have had the t.v., video games, etc to begin with, these are privileges to be EARNED and not handed out, so taking them away now is inefetual. He is in control and he knows it

Answer 5

Yikes...6 years old...I dont know but I would think that bribery would not be the best thing to do. What about being very very stern with him. "Listen...Your 6 years old!! Time to grow up and be a big girl. I know you can do it so from now on I dont want to see your go in your pants again." and make a pact.....shake on it....sign a contract....but stay away from the bribery,

Answer 6

1

Answer 7

So he is 6 years old and not potty trained!! Perhaps peer pressure would help. I think other kids that age would make fun of him if they knew.

Answer 8

if his parents are up for it, they should let him sit his underwear with the poop in it. after a few times, it's gonna be too gross for him to keep doing it and he'll sit on the potty. it is definitely a control issue.

good luck!

Answer 9

i agree that it's time for the parents to seek mental health and parenting classes. that is ridiculous. bust his butt a couple of times and they won't have that problem.

Answer 10

time to seek mental help this is a sign of abuse