I am a mature, smart and responsible 26 year old woman. Yet, my Mom still treats me and speaks to me like I am an idiot child. She says it is because I lived away for 6 years, so in her mind I am still a child, even though I have lived close to her now for a year. I have many friends who have the same problem. Why do Moms think thier daughters are stupid, immature and never good enough? Why do they disrespect us so much?
2006-07-27 07:01:33 · 22 answers · asked by Juniper C 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It's a defense mechanism. They think (know?) that they did a poor job of being a parent. It's hard to admit something like that, so they assume a critical stance and hide behind it. Doesn't make them bad people -- just ordinary people with problems like everybody else.
2006-07-27 07:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by Jack430 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the mother and the daughter. Some mothers are overbearing and have difficulty letting go. On the other hand, some daughters act like children and the mother feels that she has to intervene. If you don't like your mother's treatment, then do the adult thing and speak to her about it. First, assume innocence on her part. She may not even realize she is doing it. Let her know it bothers you because you are an adult and expect to be treated accordingly. Then, back up your words with your actions by acting like a matured individual.
2006-07-27 07:06:33 · answer #2 · answered by Apple21 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship between a mother and daughter evolves over the years and is ever changing. It's not that mothers treat their daughters as immature beings but the problem lies in the fact that the older we get the less we think our mothers know, it's all a matter of perception. And no matter how old we get our mothers will always feel the need to protect, nurture, and yes point out what they perceive as our mistakes. It's best to grin and bear it knowing that she wants only the best for us.
2006-07-27 07:12:46 · answer #3 · answered by mzmscheeveeuhs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't treat my daughter that way and she's only 17. i believe i did a good job raising her, teaching her responsibility and instilling values and morals. she's a good person, smart, kind and respectful (to most people) and probably would have turned out that way anyway. i think i would only be overly critical of her if i believed i failed her somehow. i know i did my best with her and i'm very proud of the woman she's becoming.
my mother, on the other hand, was very much like yours until i severed ties with her 6 years ago. that isn't the only reason for our estragement but it's part of it. my mother is also a domineering control freak who rules with an iron fist and expects anyone and everyone she has contact with to conform to her requirements. i'm now 40 and she's still trying to treat me this way even though time and distance have separated us for quite a long time. i don't know why she's like that but maybe if she believed she raised me right she wouldn't be.
2006-07-27 07:15:41 · answer #4 · answered by jbslass 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know - I think that all parents tend to treat their children like children forever. It's instinct. It's not that they intend to make you feel like an idiot so much as they think they know what is best for you at all times - it's the parental instinct.
I am 30 and I have 4 children of my own.... When you become a parent of a child who is intelligent, bright and old enough to make decisions for him/herself - you will understand.
2006-07-27 08:23:49 · answer #5 · answered by Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well one reason is because your mom still thinks that you are her little girl and thats isn't going to change! Although you are an adult your mom loves an cares about you very much! So the best thing for you to do is let her know how you feel about the situation and you both try to come to a conclusion!
2006-07-27 07:10:01 · answer #6 · answered by Daniqua D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all Moms do that, but if it's causing problems for you then you should talk to her about it, let her know it bothers you. Why would you let someone treat you that way, even if it's your Mom? You wouldn't accept that from a best friend or co-worker, so why put up with it from family?
2006-07-27 07:06:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maria is right, I'm 42 and my Mum still treats me like a spaz. Something changes in a woman when she becomes a Mum that can never be switched off. Cest la vie.
2006-07-27 07:08:42 · answer #8 · answered by cobra 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mother's will always treat their daughters like children, because they see us going through all the things they went through. Most of the times they wish they could be in our shoes because they see things coming our way that we probably don't see ourselves......because we're so naive and narrow minded at times...... but other than that, they really shouldn't treat us like lost teenage girls who don't have a clue about life, because in order for us to truly learn....we have to experience it for ourselves, first hand.
2006-07-27 07:13:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe we see alittle of ourselves in our daughters, and we know all of the stupid mistakes that we made. I don't think we mean to be disrespectful, maybe your being just a little over sensitive.You are aging, and learning to flex your wings and learning how to soar. And usually the ones that are closest to us, are the ones the drive us the most nuts.
2006-07-27 07:07:23 · answer #10 · answered by mischa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋