After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama bin Laden made his way to the pearly gates.
There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.
Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.
As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This is not what I was promised!"
An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"
2006-07-27 06:48:52 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Mother Teresa died and went to heaven.
God greets her at the Pearly Gates. "Are you hungry, Mother Teresa?" says God.
"I could eat," Mother Teresa replies.
So God opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it.
While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remains quiet.The next day God again invites her to join Him for a meal.
Again, it is tuna and rye bread.
Once again, Mother Teresa can see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates.
Still she says nothing.
The following day, mealtime arrives and another can of tuna is opened.
She can't contain herself any longer. Meekly, she says: "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with You as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread, and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! I just don't understand."
God sighs. "Let's be honest," He says. "For just two people, does it pay to cook?"
2006-07-27 06:57:33 · answer #1 · answered by giko 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
McCain basically tried to make himself look better than Bush who merely delivered up Bin encumbered as a bogeyman to scare voters into the GOP tent. As for actually doing something, i'm of the opinion that Bin encumbered is lifeless and McCain's human beings will do as Bush has done.
2016-11-26 19:09:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't even read all that long crap that you had wrote. Next time keep your jokes bit short so ppl could really read those and get lost from your question sooner.
Thanks for the 2 points. Smacks on the face.
2006-07-27 08:04:15 · answer #3 · answered by A.j. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A fantastic story and a very good question..
Keep up the good work.
dvz_33@yahoo.com
2006-07-27 06:57:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one.
2006-07-27 07:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I heard this joke already.
2006-07-27 06:53:12 · answer #6 · answered by redcarol57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cute cute cute!!!
I thought he would have to spell chrysanthemum to get in. (If it wasn't for spell-check I wouldn't make it !!)
2006-07-27 06:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by NANCY K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHAH good one. vote me best answer i'm 1st!
2006-07-27 06:51:56 · answer #8 · answered by Sally Pepsi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice.
2006-07-29 13:46:20 · answer #9 · answered by truthyness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋