some advice please?

Question

i just found out im preagent and the farther of the featus is a married man that i have been seeing for about a year now
i already have 2 kids and can take care of another one
but he wants me to get an abortion
so should i get an abortion or should i just black mail him or tell his wife . and then sue him for child support
some help please

Answer 1

It really depends on what you feel is right in your heart. Although i do not believe in abortion if that is what you think is the best thing for your situtation then do it, but if you wanna keep your kid go ahead and do it no matter what the father says. You dont need to black mail him or anything, just tell him if he doesnt pay you the child support you will take him to court, and he will either pay it or the court system will, but if he is trying to not tell his wife he will probably just pay you. I wish you the best of luck in your situation, and make this decision for you.... not for him

Answer 2

Well, he knew that there was a possibility that this could happen so he can't say he didn't think it was going to happen or could happen! As for you I am disappointed you decided to roll the dice on this and not use contraceptives and second messing with a married man! You obviously wanted to black mail him or tell his wife and then sue him for child support because he probably wanted to chose his wife over you! Now you and him have a child who hangs in the balance of the both of you two irrational behavior! I personally wouldn't have an abortion and I would take him up for child support whatever happened to you owning up to your responsibilities and just make sure you take care of the child. You never know he may come to terms with the fact he has to support this child and Bond with it and you may not even have to do the support thing. Lastly, it's not your place to tell his wife you let him tell her because once you decided to cheat with him with out her knowing you consented to being "The Other Woman" therefore excepting his obligation is only to his wife!

Answer 3

What kind of life do you want for yourself and new child? It's a tough decision to bring someone into this world. Your question has the words, featus, married man, abortion, black mail, child support. Don't let your anger be your judgement. He and his wife could choose to raise the child perhaps?

Answer 4

First of all, why the heck were you seeing a married man? Why did he do this to his wife? Do you honetly think if he did this to his wife that he would be in the position to take care of you? About what you need to do, honey, if you want to keep the baby it's your right. The decision is ultimatley yours. But remember, ewith either decision you make there will be a whole mess conequences you will have to endure.. Do you want to give up a baby's life because of a mistake? that's a question that only you can ask. The man already messed up his marriage by seeing you on the side... The baby is just the icing on top of the cake. It's unfair to the wife.. And she should know what kind of man she has been with.. Now would be a good time to redeem yourself..

Answer 5

First, you deserve a man that is wholely committed to you. I hope you do understand that, but I'll move on. This choice is yours. Your body, your baby. Don't let anyone let you differently. With this though you need to understand he's not going to leave his wife and you will be doing this without his help. It's not an easy road, but many women take this road everyday and have wonderful lives and wonderful children.

Blackmail is out of the question. If you choose to keep the baby it is your child's RIGHT to receive support from the father. Petition the court for a paternity test after the baby is born. Don't be surprised when he calls you all sorts of nasty names and so does the wife (of course she will believe him). He'll most likely deny to high heaven this is his baby, but DNA doesn't lie. He may even threaten to try to take the baby away from you...HA! Like his wife wants to raise another women's child.

Make your choice and get a strong support system in place (family, friends), and stand strong by your decision. Good luck.

Answer 6

sorry to hear about your situation. First of all, it wouldn't be black male if you want child support. It is his responsibility to pay for his own actions. He is a very selfish person if he wants you to get an abortion to cover his own butt. His wife may already have an idea that he is cheating. That is women's intuition. How do you feel about abortion? Personally, I am against it, but that decision is entirely up to you. But before you make that decision, think about what kind of future that child could have if you decide to let it live. If you are capable of giving it a good life, then why not let it have that chance. As far as the father (sperm donor) goes, he is a selfish bastard! I would ask him to sign off all rights, or pay child support. Don't threaten him with going to his wife. I think that if she doesn't already know what kind of sleaze he is, she will find out eventually. Don't turn it into a war against his wife, by hurting her with the news. She may be a desent person, it would make you feel really horrible. Shut him off completely! He is a sleaze ball. Make the descion about the baby based on your needs and your other children's needs. Not his. He would continue to dissapoint you. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Number one: If you black-male this man it will push him away from you and this unborn child.

Number two: Telling his wife is mean spirited because she has nothing to do with what you allowed to happened. Don't take it out on her.

Number three: If you really want this child because you love it, well don't use it as a pawn in this twisted game that your playing.

The truth hurts and maybe you will grow up before your next child comes into the world. I hope your not having this baby because you think you can hold on to him. Get it together girl and do the right thing by the children you have and the one that's on the way. He's not your husband in the first place, or did you forget?

Answer 8

First off, how old are you? And was this intentional? Does he have kids with his wife? I "spit" on men who cheat, but you are no better than he is by cheating with him. You are already considering bringing a baby in a bad situation and it will only get uglier afterwards. Why do that to the child? If you care at all about children, and can't fix this in a loving manor, it would be best to all to abort and than dump that snakesssss Asss!! Than call the wife! I would want to know!

Answer 9

You need help alright. Firstly, homewrecker, secondly, innoncent children involved and using an unborn child as a blackmail device. Seriously, you sicken me. Get your tubes tied sounds like the best solution, get an education, and grow up. You new the man was married, so why do you want to get involved with that now, if you cant support this child, and you already have two, you should consider all options. Focus on being a mother to the two children you have now and get a life for yourself.

Answer 10

I say do what your heart and brain agree on.. The only reason he wants you to do that is probly because he doesnt want his wife to find. Well he should of thought of that befor he decided to have a affair.. My opinon is if you can take care of it then do it.. Keep it, love it, and be there for the baby. But dont let him get away with not being a grown up over it and not taking responsability for there actions. No one can make you have the abortion but you already know that.. I wouldnt blackmail him.. But what I would do is send a letter notifying him that you are keeping this baby and hope his wife opens it 1st. You can do this without him... Go for it... But she honestly thou has the right to know. He just doesnt want her to.