I think that my babysitter is stealing from me, can you help?

Question

I am a happily married 32 year old mother of 2. My babysitter, lets call her Josie, lives across the street from me and has babysat my kids for about 4 years now. She is a great girl, she is funny, kind and gentle. She is always on time and doesn't accept extra money I give her if I'm late or if she had to pay for pizza. This makes me feel uncomfortable, but she always has a smile on her face and treat me and my family with respect.. that is to my face. Last night, I went out with my old friends from college to get drinks and dinner. Of course, I called Josie to watch the kids, 8 and 5. When she came over, she brought a large Abercrombie and Fitch bag filled with coloring books, art supplies...etc. I thought nothing of the bag, because she always brings things over to entertain the kids with. Before I left, I went into the bathroom to apply my makeup before I left. (CONTINUED)....

So I used my favorite M.A.C eyeshadow, which is a loose brown shimmery powder and a pretty pink Chanel lipgloss. Its not much, just a little sample I got from a departement store. When I got back, (late at night) Josie was watching T.V and my kids were fast asleep as always, she has a great way with kids. So, when she saw me she greeted me and quickly started packing her stuff up. I offered to help, but she said "no thanks" so I wen to go get her money. I handed her the 50 dollar bill and I looked at her eyes, SHE WAS WEARING MY EYESHADOW! So I said thanks and that I would call her soon. I rushed to the bathroom after she left and the eyeshadow was gone, but I DID take the gloss with me. This is the second time that I have found that my makeup has been searched through. Please, I really don't want to confront this girl or her family. How do I fix this?

I am not shallow, and I DO care more about my kids than my makeup, of course. However, "a bit here and there" as someone here put it DOES matter. Stealing is wrong a I paid good money for my things.

Answer 1

OK I will return
But I will not install a camera. that is a violation of rights. If you have reason to believe that she is stealing then come home early one day and see what she is doing. Or leave something out and see if it comes up missing. She seems like a good babysitter, so you would not want to lose her, if you are wrong. Whatever you do do not involve your children, if you do catch her in the act tell your children that she did a good job taking care of them, but she was dishonest and you do not approve.

OK I see the rest of the question. If she is taking you make-up and you feel that this is the case. Confront her. she may not be allowed to buy makeup so she might steal it from you. What ever the case is, stealing is wrong. you should talk to her about it and see if that helps. Let her know she that this is not accepted, but give her a second Chance. if things dont change then fire her. I would not tell her parents, unless you have to end up firing her. Leave it up to her if she tell her parents. If you are concerned about the money then take it out of her pay. Usually if you confront someone in the act of stealing and they admit to it that emberessment and guilt is punishment enough.

Answer 2

You don't want to confront her, but you want to fix the problem....
Here are some solutions I could think of:
1) Find a new babysitter
2) Have her watch the kids at her house

If you want to actually fix this problem you need to talk to her, you could have commented on her/your eyeshadow she was wearing, when you found it was missing you could have asked her if she saw it when she was there. Or you can ask her if she borrowed it last time she babysat.
FYI installing cameras would not be an invasion of privacy, it's your home, you can even tell her you have installed security cameras in the home for safety reasons, that in of itself may prove to be a big enough deterrent.

Answer 3

First, check everywhere for your eyeshadow. You cant prove the shade she was wearing is yours.

If you cant find it, ask her if she seen it. Dont accuse her of anything yet, even if she did take it, this might be enough to panic her into suddenly "remembering" where she saw it and the eye shadow will magically reappear.

Finally, move your make up before she comes over again. If you kept in the bathroom move it to your bedroom.


When I was a teen babysitting I never got $50 for one evening. Im sure she can afford her own eyeshadow.

Answer 4

Ok, lets say Josie is stealing from you - and it is 2 pieces of makeup - yes its wrong - but the explanation might not be as sinister . perhaps she isnt allowed makeup, and sometimes likes to try yours on? She sounds like a good babysitter and a nice kid - talk to her- say , youve noticed whats gone on , give her a chance to explain - give her a chance to keep the respect you have built up of her.

If things like DVDs , jewellery, etc were going missing, i would say get a cam - or get a new babysitter - but for a piece of makeup - the most simple answer is - calmly talk to her.

Answer 5

i used to babysit and sometimes we would play dress-up and might use some lipstick, or what-not... so, while she should be asking you first, i don't think using some make-up should be enough to fire her... i would just really search the house again to make sure it's not just misplaced - maybe even try asking her if she's seen it and try to get a feel for her reaction. then if that doesn't work, try coming home early or leaving something out and see if it goes missing. for the most part it sounds like you have such a good things going - she doesn't even take overtime money! - i would really try to give her the benefit of the doubt. good luck!

Answer 6

I understand your frustration. No matter who it is, stealing is totally f**ked up, especially when you are the one who's the victim.
If you don't want to confront her, then what ARE you going to do? You need to get a back bone and approach the subject matter. Or, you could leave little hints like hiding your makeup, put locks on your bedroom door, or you could make little comments when she's there, like, "I can't find my sparkely eyeshadow...have you seen it?"

Answer 7

I think you should mention next time she comes that you are missing some makeup and is she sure that your kids were not in the make up. It may gulit her into putting it back.

Answer 8

install a nanny cam!! And do you really care that much if she tries out a little of your makeup??? Stealing it is not right of course, but what is the big deal if she just tries a little bit on here and there?!?

Answer 9

your right stealing is wrong,even if it just a little bit of makeup,and if she will steal that who knows what else she might steal.

i would even bother with the cameras and eveything else-fire her immediatley,and tell her why!she must be confronted,she might be doing this to others!!!

Answer 10

I think my focus would be on how well she cares for the kids rather than her taking makeup. But if you're that shallow...don't call her next time you need a sitter.