If it makes me laugh I will pick you for best answer
2006-07-27 06:27:46 · 10 answers · asked by bobcatloader 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Sea Of Beer
Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp.
Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth.
This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!"
2006-07-27 10:56:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
2006-07-27 07:39:43 · answer #2 · answered by Citizen Mac 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A pastor and nun was riding down the road in a convertible. It started to rain really hard and the pastor tried to get the top of the convertible up but it broke. The Nun turned to the pastor and said, " we are getting soaked, what are we going to do?" The pastor suggested, " Lets crawl under the car and went till the Storm stops. So the nun agreed and they proceeded to pull off to the side of the road and get under the car. Along comes a police car and stops when he sees the convertible. " Hey what is going on here?" the officer said. " -- the pastor exclaims, " Officer, I am pastor fuzz..." " I don't care if you half way up her dress, get out from under the car!!!!"
2006-07-27 06:50:57 · answer #3 · answered by wickedfairymaleficent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok so there was three kids in preschool. A mexican, a japanese kid, and an Maerican kid. so one day the teacher asked them to make a sentence with the colors yellow, pink and green. so first the teacher asked the american kid. so he said...
"Today I saw a yellow sun, a pink flower, and green grass"
and the teacher said "good job". then she asked the mexican to go. and this is what he said...."tdoay I'm wearing a yellow shirt and green shoes, and katies wearing a pink shirt"
and the teacher said.." good job." then she asked the japanese kid to go, and this is what he said...
"today the phone went gree,green, and I pinked it up and said, Yellow?"
2006-07-27 06:39:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ole and Lena are having a nice time when Ole says, "Lena did you know there is 117,000 musk-ox in Alaska?"
Lena says, "No, I didn't, gee, you're smart".
Ole says, "And Lena, did you know there are 482,000 grizzly bears living in Alaska?"
Lena says, "No I didn't. Gee, you¹re smart."
Ole says, "Lena, did you know there is over 2,000,000 caribou living in Alaska?"
"No," says Lena, "how did you get so smart?" sort of wondering how this conversation came about in the middle of their foreplay.
Ole says, "Remember last winter when we ran out of toilet paper and we had to use the pages out of magazines?"
"Yes, I remember," says Lena.
Ole says, "Well you still have page 63 of the National Geographic stuck to your ***."
2006-07-27 06:38:39 · answer #5 · answered by giko 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you tell michael jackson from a shopping bag?
one is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with, and the other is used to carry groceries.
2006-07-27 07:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by Homestar Runner 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mama is so fat when I finished having sex with her I rolled over twice and I was still on the biitch.
2006-07-27 06:35:27 · answer #7 · answered by G-man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hong i, hong o wong, a rong e, yong ou?
i fong, yong ou, cong a nong, rong ea dong, tong hong i song,
I, song hong ou long dong, gong e tong, tong e nong,
pong oi nong tong song.
2006-07-27 10:07:40 · answer #8 · answered by gorra92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you so short i can see your feet on your drivers licence
2006-07-27 06:49:01 · answer #9 · answered by Nat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy walked into a bar.....OUCH!
2006-07-27 06:49:21 · answer #10 · answered by Kass K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋