My man asked me to marry him but he thinks i'm afraid of committing to it. how do you know if your ready for t

Question

we have been together five years and bought a house together

Answer 1

come on over..if you want me..your not ready!

Answer 2

After five years together and buying a house, it sounds like you're ready. But, if you still don't know, there may be issues that you don't want to face. Ask yourself, why you haven't said yes. Has anything happened in the past five years that makes you think that the relationship won't last? If your intuition is telling you that there is a reason not to marry, there probably is.

Answer 3

Ask yourself if you can see yourself growing old with your man. Also, you should ask him some questions. "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" "Do you want children? If so, when?" These types of questions are meant for two things; one, to open the communication lines, and two, to see if you both want the same things out of life. If you want to travel, and he's afraid of flying, travel might not be out of the question, but you're going to be limited in the places you go together.
It might help you if you made a list of the good things and bad things you can see about him. Does he pay attention to your likes and dislikes? If so, that would be a good thing (in lots of ways!). Does he brush his teeth and not rinse out the sink? If it annoys you, that could be a bad thing.
Now, when you make this list, you need to rate these things (on a scale that makes sense to you) on how important or unimportant they are. You could use hearts or stars or checkmarks; whatever you like. Then add up the numbers of whatever you used for your scale. That should give you an impression of how compatible you guys are.
Finally, take a look at your past. Are your parents divorced? and did they seperate as friends, or did they involve the police? If this is the case, you could be afraid of the same thing happening to you. Or it could be something else that's bugging you. You should sit down and see if something from your past is keeping you from making yourself happy.
Hope this helps!

Answer 4

www.drphil.com has a pre-marital quiz of things you should think about before marrying someone. Everyone should consider it's content because there is no "owner's manual" for marriage, but there are common things that can make it difficult.

Joint financial committments are one thing to consider. Funny, how you two will commit to buying a house together while unmarried.....

If things don't work out, what do each of you stand to lose? Can you make it on your own?

What did your parents (or his) show you about being married? What do you expect from marrigae? How do you (each of you) view marriage?

Remember, you don't have to marry someone to prove how you feel ablut them, and they would be wrong to expect you to.

Why have you been together so long and not married? Were you completing education, waiting to be old enough, recovering from a previous marriage, or just comfortable, knowing you could "just walk away" if things ended?

Seriously, before you join all of your finances, emotions, responsibilities, and families in the legal way....go to www.drphil.com and look at the premarital quiz questions. It will give you some insight and make you think about things that are easily overlooked.

Answer 5

When you are ready you will just know it. It has nothing to do with whether you own a house together or how long you have been together.My husband and I only dated for 6 months and then moved in together we lived together for 8 months and then got married. If he is right for you and it is time you will know. As for someone's earlier response you will know you are ready when you are willing to give up things? If 2 people really love each other neither should EVER have to give up something for a marriage. Listen to your heart it will tell you when it is time.Good Luck!

Answer 6

Well lets see my hubby and I had been dating for a year when he cheated we broke up then about 9 months later he hunted me down and apologized he was getting ready for Basic training and we decided we would see each other again but while he was gone we would also date others and go from there. One week before he left I realized I didn't want to date someone else and neither did he he asked me to marry him and I had to really think about it or so I thought and before I knew it I said yes cause in my heart I knew I couldn't stand living with out him in my life. We have been married almost 8 years now.

So i guess if you feel in your heart that you couldn't live without him thats your answer, if you could see him walk out the door today and not come back and it wouldn't bother you then your not ready.

Answer 7

If you are doubting it, you are not ready. But, if you have been with this man for five years and purchased a home together, you have already crossed the line, in my opinion. What are you waiting for?

You need to decide once and for all if this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. If not, you will only hurt him more if you continue down the same path, only to break up with him later.

Answer 8

i think you have to remember the courage and the absolute devotion that he has for you when you consider what your answer will be. remember that he has asked you to marry him because you are the only one he wants, and he wouldn't ask if he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with you. you don't know what the future will bring - people change, and they will either change together or change and begin to drift apart. the fact is, you can't know if the right decision today will feel like the wrong decision in 10 years. If you love him, and feel like you could make a really good go at it (even if it DOES fall apart later) then go for it. But do it because you love him. If you are not sure, then you better let him know that you need time to think it over. If he loves you, he will understand your fears.

Answer 9

if you have been together that long and bought a house together already then one half of common sense says ur ready.but then there is still the part of it being final.like once u get married thats it.it is going to cost money if u find out it was the wrong choice.I'd say if you're living together and have the house and so on....just let it be.just be together.you don't need a peice of paper to tell you that you love each other.

Answer 10

If you are asking strangers, then you are not ready.
Besides, you have a house and a long term partner.
So what's marriage going to give you that you don't already have?
And don't say "a ring". Single women can buy jewelry too. I've seen it done. I swear.

Answer 11

well ive never got married considering im young ... but im guessing .. if you realyl love him adn are devoted to him then you do want to be with him for the rest of your life.