Is there a kind way to ask the grandmas not to spoil my baby?

Question

Hi Everyone. I'm so worried about my baby being too spoiled. She is due August 29th (YAY! 5 more weeks!) and she will be the first grandchild on both sides. I know there is no way to prevent her from being spoiled, but it's very important to me that my child isn't TOO spoiled. I have a very generous mom and MIL...and I'm very grateful for what they do, but for example..for Christmas last year, my mom bought my DOG a Coach collar, leash and bowl!! Do you have any idea how much that makes me panic about what she'll do with my HUMAN child?? Is there anyone who has gone through the same thing? Any tips?

Thanks in advance for your answers!

Mandy
Proud soon-to-be first-time mommy

Answer 1

LOL, I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! My mother-in-law is the exact same way!!! When I had my son 2 1/2 years ago, she started with the gift giving and spoiling....now he is a 2 1/2 year old little boy that thinks his grandma is his little playmate slave!! EVERY time we go to her house she has something new to give him (toys, clothes, etc)....it used to REALLY REALLY bother me and kind of piss me off...but then I realized that this is her first grandchild, and that is what grandmas do!! Whenever we come over, she dedicates EVERY second of her time to playing with him...and now, whenever she wants a break from him he wont let her leave his side!!! The way I see it....it is her fault that he acts like that around her because she is the one that started his life out like that and she continues to do it! So...although I used to get really annoyed because she would have new things for him everytime I went over there...I realized that he absolutely LOVES going to her house....not for the presents, but because she plays so much and so good with him!! If she is making him happy, there is no reason for me to intervene!!

Grandmas are put on this earth to spoil our kids!!! Enjoy it while it lasts...because believe me it wont last forever!! Good Luck, and dont worry about your baby being too spoiled...she doesnt LIVE with her grandparents, so she wont be exposed to it on a daily basis....she will turn out just fine!!! =)

Answer 2

Yes. My in-laws live in another state and only get to see our children (their only grandchildren) once, maybe twice, a year. For Christmas we've always been able to count on them giving each child as many gifts as we do. Same thing for their birthdays. Since my older kids (they're 11,7,5,and 2) have gotten to the point where they lack appreciation for the gifts they receive and for the sentiment behind them, this year I'm putting my MIL on a 2-3 gift maximum and no toys allowed. She also has the habit of sending gifts occasionally throughout the year and I always tell her that if I can't stop her from overindulging the children that she should send clothes whenever she gets the whim. It lets her do her grandma thing but sets a limit as well, and the kids are actually getting things that they need.

Answer 3

There is nothing you can do, the only way to SPOIL a child is to let him get away with anything. You can't spoil a child by GIVING him things. Just by letting him EXPECT those things. Teach your child that it is so wonderful that his/her grandparents want to do that for him but they dont' HAVE to. There is nothing worse than a kid who EXPECTS to get something and throws a fit before he gets it. If you teach your child to appreciate the things he/she has then there is nothing wrong with having a COACH baby rattle or pacifier. Just let them know that you appreciate what they do as well, and maybe tell them a little of your fears? I know I will have the same problem when I have children but there is nothing you can do. Just be glad that you have such loving parents and in-laws!!

Answer 4

i does no longer hardship too a lot about it at this consider time. you truly won't be able to damage somewhat one. even as she receives somewhat older she will be able to understand the version between grandma and mommy. definite grandma spoils - no mommy would not. see you later as you're making it sparkling on your MIL that some guidelines are rigid and he or she follows those guidelines then i does no longer hardship too a lot. do not have guidelines about stupid issues, though. you could say "no table ingredients till *x* months" and he or she might want to stick with that once you've concerns about allergic reactions and such. yet once your toddler is ingesting something and each and every thing then enable grandma make certain what she eats although if it is not any longer inevitably something you should feed her at abode. some guidelines choose enforced everywhere - others ought to get replaced to the issue. your little woman ought to act up somewhat even as she comes abode from grandma's, yet she'll immediately get decrease back to regularly occurring and understand what mommy says is going. each and every youngster needs someone to break them somewhat. feels like grandma is extremely excited.

Answer 5

Okay this is what you do you sit the soon to be grandma down and you exlain to her that you dont want your baby to get used to getting whatever he/she wants. obviously there is going to be some spoiling but try and limit it, when she tries to give the baby things you dont think she should have yet, you say no. Because if the child gets used to being able to get anything she wants when you say no on something, she will go to her grandma and ask her, and that will cause a rift between you and your mother. Take Care, and Good Luck

Answer 6

NOoOOO That's what Grandparents do, you need to enforce the discipline as a parent - the Grandma exists to spoil the child and love them - they saw you grow up and now they see you have kids it would break their heart if you told them not to - Grandmaz can't help it and at that age they just love the little critters so much - My Grandma spoiled the hell outa me, but she did it with love and i loved her to bits - but i turned out ok because my parents treatmed me like s h i t :) - just make sure you do your job as a parent and let grandma do hers - it may actually interfere with the child's proper emotional developement if atleast one memeber again 'usually the grandmother' doesn't smother them in love and spoil them - my maternal grandma thought that way and didn't even want to hold me incase i got too used to being in her lap - i grew up feeling terrible about it (atleast my paternal grandma made more than made up for it ) - so let grandma do her thang and you do yours - and oh yeh CONGRATS!

ps: but ok i admit - i was a really really spoiled kid, and i grew out of it - i suppose too much of a good thing really is a bad thing - the child may become impervious to disciplinary training etc - all things in moderation really - set boundaries but don't take the feeling of love away - kids at that age do not understand that what you do you do out of love.

Answer 7

To much of a good thing can't be good for a child. I have 4 nephews who are spoiled ROTTEN. They get everything that they want, when they want. And now they are little hellians. A few things from the grandparents does help out, but to much, and the child expects to get that treatment all the time. So just mention if to the grandparents (if they geta little out of control) that you wish for them not to spoil your child so much

Answer 8

You are in great trouble. My son was the first and he is spoiled by all the family. What you can do is to set limits on your house and you and your partner will not spoil him, treat him nicely but do not melt down with each of his tantrums. If you know he will be spoiled by everyone else, let him but set limits.
For example, my son asks for I new (milion) toy, I say no, The next time he sees my mom, he asks her and se gets it, but at leats you did not, plus you get to save a lot of money. Just relax, breathe and do not let it get to you. I got on a fight with my mother in law because I specificly asked her not to give him cockies or cake.....she did. My kid knows now that with me sugars and candy are limited, buy when he sees granma he has a blast. Hope this helps.

Answer 9

You have to talk to them and make sure when you say no that means no and stay with it. It is nice from them, but how about you are you good enough financially to give your child what she/he wants? It is easy to depend on parents but how about when they are gone! Be strong you need patience to talk to them because they will try to spoil your child again and again. Only you and nobody else can allow your child to get spoil.
CONGRATULATIONS for your baby in advance! Good Luck!

Answer 10

Well, your husband and you are the ones who set the boundaries for your home and for your children. Make the rules. If "Grandma" doesn't want to abide by them, then she will have to visit her grandchildren at your house, where the rules will be respected.

You and your husband are "one" flesh and should be of "one mind" in being very clear---with love---what will be expected and what not will be tolerated as far as the levels of "spoiling." Stand together!