my boyfriend's father has just passed away in another country and my boyfriend lives 120miles away from me but he does not want me to go be with him at this time what should i do?
2006-07-27 05:13:31 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Let him get on with it and be there for him when he's ready.
Everybody handles this typa thing differently, some need to be around ppl ,,others like to be alone, send him a text to let him know you're thinking of him and you're there if he needs you.
Dont take it personally tho' , it'll be a hard time for him and he may not want you to see him cry or suffer etc.
2006-07-27 05:22:09 · answer #1 · answered by India 55 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
this is not much of an answer some people need space when my friend died it felt odd to be around people talking about nice memories I felt dark for me the world needed to be dark for awhile the sunny day made it hurt more. but for others the closeness of others who knew the person as well helps to make the bond feel stronger at a time when it feels ready to snap to be on the outside is the hardest some time when my brother watched his best friend get hit by a truck it felt like he needed me to be there but not there at the same time I find that people who grew up in family's that hugged a lot like human contact and those who grew up in more distant house hold need space. I know it was not much of an answer but if they where close then he may never fully get over it there are songs that 13 years later still set my father off about his fathers death.
2006-07-27 05:26:20 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect his space honey. Everyone grieves in a different way. You must let him get through this on his own. He will come to you when he is ready. In the meantime, make certain that he knows that you are here for him and that he can call you anytime day or night, whenever he needs you, and for whatever reason. Then, back off a little and let him sort things out.
He'll be back
2006-07-27 05:18:06 · answer #3 · answered by gottabreal2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deals differently. Leave him alone for the moment, maybe send him a card, just so he knows you're thinking of him, and let him know that you'll wait for him to call you.
While I don't really think most people fake their parents death just to get out of a relationship (like the previous answerer), if you hear nothing after a month then perhaps you should just get on with life. For whatever reason, you're not on his priority list right now.
2006-07-27 05:21:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awwww well you need to be there for him, this would be a time where you guys just be alone together and you guys could talk about it show him that you'll be there for him cause then he'll know ok so she's gonna be here for me through thick or thin, The girlfriend always should show him love, cook him something to you know taking him out somewhere isn't good right now unless he wants to go out somewhere with you you.
2006-07-27 05:18:24 · answer #5 · answered by Charissa H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there when he need you at this moment he is not thinking straight. He his just feeling numb at this time. I have gone through it from both side with my partners father dying then two years later my mother dying. Go to the funneral if you want but stay to the back. At the end of the day you know him best do what you think best. Goodluck
2006-07-27 05:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
right now ..whatever he decides to do is right ...regardless of your opinion...this is about him...he is handling this as best he can ..just be there for him..this is a biggy...it only happens 2 times in your life you loose a parent ..he's in shock and not sure what to feel...his feelings will be all over the place ..just let him talk ..try not to be too critical of what he says ...remember you have 2 ears and 1 mouth ..so listen twice as much as you tallk ..this applies to a situation like this
2006-07-27 05:20:57 · answer #7 · answered by pineforestkim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably thinks that he will be able to handle his emotions better without you & may be trying to protect you from all the trauma tho it will be more difficult for you to cope 'from a distance'. It is doing to be a difficult time for both of you & you need to remain strong for each other & understand each others needs at this time. Best wishes
2006-07-27 05:20:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to what he says the same has happened to my boyfriend and he will let you know when he needs you I know it is hard because the natural instinct is to comfort someone who is sad...really just give him his space if he says he needs it soon enough he will need you more than every!
2006-07-27 05:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by giggles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say do as much as you can to comfort him even if you are far away. e-mail him all the time, call him all the time. Or visit him and bring flowers even if he said to stay away from him.
2006-07-27 05:18:38 · answer #10 · answered by edking09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋